Bf lied about cheating before

[candice378]

In my last major relationship I was cheaed on in a brutal way. thereforeeee the idea haunts me and hurtsme even when I see strangers doing it. When I started dating again I ALWAYS asked early on if they had cheated before. I believe once a cheater always a cheater.

 

I asked my current bf like the second time we hung out and he said he hadn't. Well I foud out last night that he did cheat on his last long term gf. The terms were he was so drunk he honestly did not remember and he had to be told it happened. He has been living as if it did and now does not drink heavily anymore at all. He told me he lied because he knew if he told me I would be gone. And he is right, I would have stopped it right there if he told me.

 

My intuition tells me I have nothing to worry about. But should I worry? Should I worry that he did not tell me or should I understand because he wanted to keep seeing me?

[amtjrtcet]

I don't believe "Once a cheater always a cheater." People DO change. They change with age, circumstance, time, lesson learned. It IS possible.

 

I say let it go. The second time you guys hung out you asked, he lied. And since then you've built a relationship with him, you love him-let it go.

[Beec]

Once a cheater, always a cheater is flat out wrong. I cheated, back in the 1980s. Not since. Someone cheated on me in 1989, and since then I have never done it to anyone.

 

I will confess to having looked, but I never went out with another woman or slept with a another woman, while any woman considered me to be in a relationship with her.

 

So, I think after almost 20 years of having not done it, I am proof one who has cheated once does not always continue. People mature.

[candice378]

But the scary oart is that apparently he has a level of drunkeness where he has ZERO judgment or recolection...Is that even possible? I guess he did say he does not drink much anymore.

[Beec]

Simply put, yes. When a student, there were times when I awoke in the moring and had little recollection of something I'd done. Sometimes it came back to me, at others it did not.

 

Drinking also lowers your resistance to not do things like cheat.