livinda_vidaloca Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 been with my bf for 3 years nearly, and we are so comfortable with eachother we can literaly be ourselfs, naked, farting, no makeup on, laugh, cry, everything you can think of we can do in front of eachother, for a whil eit was amazing that i could be that comfortable with someone. but recently im wondering whether its possible to know someone too much? i thought i wanted to spend the rest of my life in this secure relationship, now im having doubts, part of me wants to be free n play the field, i hate to say it but i feel we have become more best friends than anything else! we have both spoke about it and agree. as we dont have sex that often, its mainly my fault, its just not fun anyomre, and he doesnt seem to turn me on like he used to. what should i do? i want to make it work, i want to have fun again, i think we have slipped into the whole comfortable thing too much. opinions please! people say sex isnt evrything, but it definitely is something, and in a way plays a big part in making you bf and gf and not just friends who get on extremely well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocoDiablo Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Sounds like you two are acting more like friends and not lovers. Sure, you can do all that stuff with each other, but it isn't what I consider polite, mature stuff to do. It sounds like your lack of sexual attraction is because he's fallen from being a mature adult, and you now sort of see him as more of a child. My personal philosophy is that a man has to act like a man, or a woman will see him as a boy. That's a big leap, but ... that's my take on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 these things happen sometimes. how old are you? have you had many significant relationships in your life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think even if a "man acts like a man" the fire can dim after three years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocoDiablo Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think even if a "man acts like a man" the fire can dim after three years. Or it can grow stronger. There is no universal "answer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livinda_vidaloca Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 im 20, not really had many previous relationships. i mean he isnt my 1st or anything, but it kinda freaks me out sometimes that he may be my last! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livinda_vidaloca Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 any ideas on how to get my sex drive back up? i hate to admit it but other lads turn me on sometimes, but yet when i luk at him........ nothing, its horrible help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I'd say iit's pretty normal at 20 to want to be out having fun with alot of diff experiences. Maybe you both should do that and down the road you might decide you both want to be back with someone you can fart in front of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justpaisley Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 My husband and I were best friends before we started dating, and not a lot changed in that aspect of our relationship when we started dating. We're very comfortable with each other... my only boundary is that I won't let him see me going #2. I don't think it's caused any decrease in our romantic relationship - rather, being best friends and extremely open has enabled us to have the best communication possible, which is the essential cornerstone of any healthy relationship. We still have a very healthy and active sex life, perhaps with the natural decrease that comes with a lack of novelty - we've been married for 6 years. You're probably just starting to grow apart. It may or may not have anything to do with your comfort level with each other, but if you have little or no sexual desire for him anymore, your relationship has fizzled out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soul_soother Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Well, personally when me and my gf had problems with "casual" sex we would take like about a month of no real touching.. And after a while we would be crazy to eachother, and almost everytime we couldn't actually make the month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 that's a very interesting method, soul s! It feeds how we all can get our interest stirredwhen we're 'not supposed to' do something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonGirl724 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think maybe you are having the same complications as another member. here is the link to her situation: I strongly believe passion is the key to every longterm relationship here is my advice I gave her: "it sounds to me that maybe whats lacking in your relationship is passion. Anger is a form of passion and maybe you are wringing your relationship dry trying to suck out any last drop of passion from your guy. It happens to more couples than ya think. You guys may just be getting too comfortable after 4 years so spice it up a bit-take a vacation-do something new & exciting! He may be great and Im sure you are too so if you think all this might be is a lack of energy and passion then talk to him about it. It definitly seems like thats what it is and it explains why your sex drive is depreciating and why you keep picking fights with him. Goodluck. Let us know how things end up." maybe this was of some help to you.... -DG724 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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