The Snake in the Basket

[coldplay.]

Ya, i dont understand my feelings yet... i keep reaching for answers within myself but haven't found any yet. Healing is a difficult concept to me for some reason...

[brandnewday47]

Giving this a bump.... I read this before, but months later it REALLY resonates with me now!

[soul12]

that really hit home. . .possibly the greatest post i've read on this forum.

[brandnewday47]

Giving this a shameless bump... with a personal note.

 

As someone who actually had a very short lived and one sided second chance, I can tell you the second bite is as painful as the first. I'll let you figure out which "side" I was on.

 

For those recovering from the shock of the BU after a few weeks or a month, I think this is important reading. Personally to me the logic/emotion part isn't as important as the snake analogy. If there is to be a second chance, the proverbial "snake" needs to be removed from the basket, whatever that may be. Think about it..... think long and hard people.

 

Take care everyone

[VinnieMarlboro]

With you there BND.

 

Had the 2nd chance, well I thought it was and she was very convincing.

Her committment to it was severley lacking.

 

A plus for me, is, I know I was doing well before the 2nd chance, so recovery from the BU is going at a much faster rate.

 

These boards have certainly helped me considerably aswell -

 

So 'BIG UPS' to everyone who has posted anything.

[WomanWriter]

Well, I think logic in relationships is a necessary evil, but not ideal!

 

I am the kind of person who believes that logic in relationships can ruin possibilities. Maybe something is logically not a good idea, but without risk, it can happen. I believe that so many relationships don't last because a person looks at the circumstances and makes conclusions rather than having faith and putting in the effort to make something better.

 

I'm quite emotional and I think that if I loved someone, I would want to see the best in them. I've been loyal in my own relationships as far as staying true to them (even when I didn't want to) all because I had a broader vision of potential and possibility. I wanted to believe in love and that no logic could erase it. In fact, if my partners were the same way, we would still be together most likely, because I would have stuck it out.

 

Sometimes logic just causes people to question things too much. If something doesn't make sense, we analyze it and conclude that we need to make a decision based on it. In fact, we get ourselves into trouble and make rules and principles, like "It is not logical to be with someone who can't support a family when I want kids" so we dump them, but then we regret it because we really loved the person and were happy. We just didn't want to wait for them to be financially sound. We act based on circumstances. Or like my exes who believe that once you break up with someone, you move on. That's the logical thing to do, but what if both people still love each other, yet you have a rule that tells you that logically the person is going to hurt you again. Then you are just following a rule, not your heart. How can you be truly happy following a rule?

 

But I guess in cases where there is little hope and the other person really doesn't want you or is unavailable, better to be logical after trying everything because then you really are wasting time.

 

Good post!