houdini Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Ok, I know I'm going to get a huge back lash from you guys for what I did, especially Superdave... Don't worry superdave I've got the duct tape already waiting for you!!! Ok here is what happened: I logged into my myspace page and was curious about whether my ex had a page yet. Her daughters do but I wanted to see if she had one. So I did a search by name and nothng came up. I did a search by her work email address and nothing came up. When you do a search by email and if myspace can't find it, it will ask you if you want to invite the person to myspace. When I got the page that it couldn't find my ex's email address on myspace I noticed I had a typo and I fixed it and I hit the "enter" button without fully reading what I was doing, I thought it was re-searching the email address but in fact it was sending her a myspace invite. Now I have made no contact with her in 49days, she's contact me a couple times by email and the latest was earlier this past week. She hates myspace and never wanted me to have as she thougt it was a place to hook up. My fear now is that she will think I'm playing games, trying to make her mad, hurt her or make her jealouse. That was not my intention, it was a true honest mistake and I don't know how to fix this.... Since then I've deleted my myspace page and I'm wondering if I should email her tomorrow apologizing for the mistake and explaining what happened.... I don't want her to get mad, or hate me and most of all I don't want to push her away thinking I'm up to no good and that she could never come back knowing what I did. I know I probably sound pathetic but it's bothering me and I screwed up big time and I don't knwo what to do or how to fix it. Any ideas? please help I feel like I've lost the 49days of NC for a stupid mistake and she'll take what I've done as a sign that I'm still here missing her and not moving on OR wanting to be her friend... Please Help!!! Houdini Houdini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lava Rocks Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 As to what she'll think: I wouldn't worry too much about it, actually. It could be that you invited several people in your address book. The fact that she's still in your address book...well, I've known a ton of people who don't even go through those things to delete people they no longer contact. If she wants to think you invited her out of some personal need, so be it. It doesn't have to be a setback unless you make it one. Brush it off and start over. Don't give her that much power over your healing process - everything that happens from now on is up to you and what's happening in your own head. If she accepts and tries to befriend you again, it's up to you how you proceed - you don't have to answer her. But it does bring up the question as to why you were curious enough to go looking for her on Myspace. You must have had some desire to know what she's up to nowadays. If you had found her on there, what would it have accomplished? Would finding her have set you back depending on what you found out? This curiosity will pass after time. I have to admit that today I logged into my own account and looked under my old comments to see if the ex changed his picture after running into his brother last night when I was out and about. He's been removed from my friends list for ages, but I never deleted his comments. The thing that fuels me not to try to get in touch is the fact that I know he doesn't share the same curiosity and isn't trying to track me down. I guess I know how I truly got my nickname SourGrapes. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supercalifragilistic Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Yeah, I think just forget about it and pretend it didn't happen. If she does ask you about it just say something along the lines of what Lava suggested. "Oh, I'm sorry. I accidentally invited everyone on my address book. Just ignore the invitation" I wouldn't really count it as breaking NC. Though I do think checking you ex's myspace or blog or whatever is not good at all. I blocked it here so it would give me more strenght to avoid it. I know how hard it is not to think about what they're doing and thinking (I've broken myspace NC a few times but I think it's best not to know and just try and move on. Anyways, I think I'm going off topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houdini Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Super and Lava, Thanks for the GREAT replies....you don't know how much I've been pacing arround in circles wondering how she's going to take this, or if she'll see it as "ah, he's still there waiting for me and missing me"...I think as the dumpee the LAST thing I want her to know is the truth, the truth that I do miss her and thinking about her..I knw the only way to possibly get someone back is for them to know that we've moved and are happy and now by my mistake I think I've done the opposite... I know, what can I do right??? what's done is done??? I just wondered if I should make contact with her by email and apologize for the mistake or should I just let it be like you suggested???? Thanks agian! Houdini....(wish I could magically dissappear!!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supercalifragilistic Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Super and Lava, Thanks for the GREAT replies....you don't know how much I've been pacing arround in circles wondering how she's going to take this, or if she'll see it as "ah, he's still there waiting for me and missing me"...I think as the dumpee the LAST thing I want her to know is the truth, the truth that I do miss her and thinking about her..I knw the only way to possibly get someone back is for them to know that we've moved and are happy and now by my mistake I think I've done the opposite... I know, what can I do right??? what's done is done??? I just wondered if I should make contact with her by email and apologize for the mistake or should I just let it be like you suggested???? Thanks agian! Houdini....(wish I could magically dissappear!!!!) Just let it go I think. If you contact her it might give her the message that you don't seem to want to give her: that you still think about her and what she thinks about you. By not apologizing, it'll be easier to claim that you didn't even know it happened, much less wanted it to happen (and while you do know it happened, you didn't mean to add her, it was an accident). So I'd just let it go. I know how hard it is, but just forget about it and trust things will work out for the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveygravey Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Don't email her and apologise. Just play it like these guys have suggested - it was a mass invite, everyone in your address book. You're so over her you forgot she was still in your address book! She didn't even pop into your head! No harm done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lava Rocks Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Just let it go. By contacting her to apologize you will actually be breaking NC and then you'll likely question whether you inflated her ego by apologizing. It's a neverending battle. This way it looks like an accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houdini Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Thanks everyone!!! I feel so much better now and I will chalk this one up as a true honest mistake as that's what it was anyways. I have to stop letting this woman control my life like she has even though she doesnt know she's doing it. I guess the truth is, I'm the one controlling my life and letting my thoughts and life revolve arround her...I need to stop! Thanks again for the great replies, I was starting to panic on what to do but with your help I'm going to do nothng and just let it be. I guess if anything good comes of this it will atleast make her think if it was an accident or not and I guess silence can not be interpreted right???? Thanks again everyone....and Happy Easter!!!! Houdini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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