Should I call her or just let it fade naturally?

[Miss Firecracker]

I'm glad it made you think, Luke.

 

Tonight I read through a lot of this and saw that you aren't really attracted to this girl physically. As much as you seem to want to give this a go, without that strong chemistry I'm afraid you may only end up hurting her. I may be wrong, of course. And I only told you I think you are playing games because you don't seem to be aware of it. I think you aren't doing it on purpose, but just the way you talked about not having time to squeeze her in for a long time...I just think if she were a hottie (in your eyes) you would have found the time.

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm glad it made you think, Luke.

 

Tonight I read through a lot of this and saw that you aren't really attracted to this girl physically. As much as you seem to want to give this a go, without that strong chemistry I'm afraid you may only end up hurting her. I may be wrong, of course. And I only told you I think you are playing games because you don't seem to be aware of it. I think you aren't doing it on purpose, but just the way you talked about not having time to squeeze her in for a long time...I just think if she were a hottie (in your eyes) you would have found the time.

 

That's not correct. As I can recall, I was infatuated with someone with a big crush (and still have a small crush now), and I always shyed away with spending too much time with her. I remember, last July 1st, rather than spend time with her, I wanted to go with my parents to an anniversary that had nothing to do with me just as an excuse to get away from her - and she was a hottie.

 

What happens is an intimidating factor with a hottie where I'd want to stay away from her before I feel like I'll blow it up. Furthermore, my insecurities would also be magnified, making the interactions more unstable or volatile. Here, at least I'm able to keep a more level head and handle this better.

 

A more accurate statement is that I'm shy with women in general, attractive or not totally attractive, the behaviour is the same, but I think I'm more balanced with someone that's not a total hottie. She's still sexy though.

[Miss Firecracker]

I never wanted to date a man prettier than me either.

[Luke Skywalker]

I meet up with her tonight and we walked around her University campus together and she had this talk with me that - essentially she was complaining I do not call her enough, or buy her enough gifts while we are dating - like roses, or other things that girls like, and I'm like what is she talking about.

 

On record, I called her six times before she returned my call once - and she's COMPLAINING that I dont call her often enough. I called her on that and didn't take that BS, and told her that I called quite often and thought she wasn't interested because she never returned my call or got in touch with me.

 

She complains I cancelled a date on her, when I counter that and said, no, I tried to reschedule the date and had to cancel since I had to do something business wise, and when I try to set up another date or update her on the situation I left messages and was courteous about it, she wants to call me on a 'relationship' discussion, so again, I explained my own perspective to her.

 

She thinks I'm not romantic, and is like making this barrage of complaints, and I'm explaining myself to her that it's not like that.......

 

On the plus side, she massaged my back while I sat between her legs and I rubbed her ankles - and that's like a serious plus side, making things even more confusing since I liked that.

 

Well, at this point, I'm cooly and calmly stating my points and my perspective.

 

My mother (as other people on here) doesn't think I really like her deep down inside, and it's coming accross that way, that no matter what 'rational' or tangible actions are made (i.e. or as they say, 'going through the motions'), there is a mis-match deep down inside of what I really want physically and this has an effect of an engine running without oil, pretty soon it's going to seize up somewhere down the line, which is likely to eventually happen.

 

If I were to draw an analogy, it would appear some sort of 'oil' is missing in the enginge - some people call it chemistry or connection - but it just seems like I'm pursuing her because I dont have anyone else (or never had a relationship before and thus the 'novelty' of a relationship or reciprocating partner is enough to keep it going for now on my end), and she's showing interest and looks sexy enough as opposed to a genuine romantic connection - although I seem to be pretty efficient at going through the motions and setting time aside for her if it is necessary.

 

My position for now is to continue going to the motions and meeting her because there is allot of novelty in this, I dont have anyone else (nor am I looking for anyone at this time) and need someone to keep me in check. She's like my virgin hope, and I feel having a girl-virgin in my life will also encourage me to stick to my convictions and always remain pure since I'm saving it until I get married to someone, and perhaps her.

 

My mom is not thinking very highly of this relationship, however, as she views her as nagging or negative and sort of complaining a bit, or being suspicious of me, --- but these are all symptoms of a greater problem - I cant force myself to be interested in someone that I'm deep down inside not interested in enough or feel that I 'should' be interested in - as in an ideal world. As she is placing bigger demands on me to demonstrate interest - I think it's only a matter of time that it will come apart if I'm unable to show real interest which could only happen if there is an interest at a much deeper level then there is here.