Luke Skywalker Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 It looks like this is going very nicely. I meet her last night on a movie date "Music and Lyrics" and we cuddled through the movie. I had my first French Kiss with her as she stook her tongue in my mouth - teaching me how to kiss. I enjoyed it enough to suggest doing it a second time, and we did. Now, I tend to get really shy in terms of talking sexually, but my feeling is she sort of doubts the level of interest or extent of how much I'm attracted to her. I think she thinks I had a crush on that other girl, but I'm not showing that same level of engagement here as she's asking me about that other girl that didn't work out and asking me what 'features' about her physically I like. It sort of put me on the spot because I didn't want to make her feel bad on one hand, and on the other, she's sexy enough, even though she may not have the boobs - I dont tend to want to make decisions on physical appearance, but more on substance. She is attractive enough for me and I dont want to develop a crush where it's going to just end very badly. Anyway, I'm very pleased with this, and will conclude that God is good in this area of life and glory to God. I have no complaints again concerning women and my faith is back up to normal again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 you are basing this on faith? you did the work. you put in the effort yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 you are basing this on faith? you did the work. you put in the effort yourself. I dont know. I'm 31 y/o right now, and I've complained previously that I've suffered 30 years without having any sort of romantic or sexual types of experiences with the belief that everyone is rejecting me or was mean to me and that no woman can be attracted to me physically or would want to intimatly or romantically touch me, and have previously identified myself as 'incel' (involuntary celibate). Created a Green journal book and dialogue on here. I did not consider myself a normal guy, but felt I had a curse or some unique problem since I never had a relationship or girlfriend before, or had any form of intimate experience. I dont intend to go into that, other than the fact that it is now proven, by this girl, that such beliefs are false and not true, and I'm happy that these extreme thoughts really have no basis in reality but are just self-pity thoughts of my own making, and perhaps sometimes things can go my way. (I did have two other dates last December I meet from the internet that also ended successfully with a kiss at the conclusion of the date, and four women who were prepared to meet me for a casual hook-up on adultfriendfinder). A kiss was determined as a standard of acceptance, replacing a 'hug'. After being tired of just being a 'friend' while some other guy is the 'boyfriend', a nerve snapped with me and I just went on some sort of mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 say that you are a virgin on adultfriendfinder. i bet a lot of chicks will offer to take it from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted April 26, 2007 Author Share Posted April 26, 2007 say that you are a virgin on adultfriendfinder. i bet a lot of chicks will offer to take it from you. I've already tried that in November 2006. There were four prospects at the end of the day, and I dont consider four prospects to be allot, although my complaints cease with at least one attractive candidate within a 30 day span of time. First of all, women are not apt to believe such a profile, and of course, it screams some sort of red-flag even if it is true, so it's unlikely to any response. But I did have some fun online anyway, and was generally interacting with 'someone' most of the time, so there is no complaints. But there was no rush of girls wanting to do that or anything. But, the bigger the struggle the sweeter the reward at the end of the day - it's the struggle or conflict that creates the context of value of reward. I may not be a hot-dude online, but I'm not totally untouchable either. Especially with such sites, men are competing, women are choosing - this type of site is even more exagerrated, but again, I have no complaints since my decision was to abort on an appointment, rather as opposed to absolute lack of interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 I spoke to her just now and everything seems fine except for one weird request. She told me she's going away up to May 13th and wants me to view as many romantic movies as I possibly can until she returns back. When I asked her why, she said she'll tell me later. Not that I mind, since I have very strict rules for viewing movies and cant view any movies this month due to some other issues - this would serve as a loophole in my already restrictive system so I dont mind that at all. But why? It is almost feels like she's saying I dont have any romantic sense - but would romantic movies help with that. I believe I do have a romantic sense and I am romantic at heart - it's just that time has to be allocated. For example, waterfront trips, horseback riding, visiting a pioneer village, are all ideas in my mind for her -- but I didn't tell her about it yet. Just feels a bit weird I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 that is a weird request. I don't know, don't over interpret it, but don't go out of your way to fulfil it either. I would recommend some good, classic romantic movies that are well done. Like, "When Harry met Sally," "Love Story" or "Casablanca." "The way we were" is really good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Looks like she's suggesting you learn the art of love Luke... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 ....and you're doing OK so far but from all your posts that I've read it seems you're letting her have her way all the time. I know you're afraid of losing her but try to lead sometimes and be a challenge. It will increase the spark in your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 ....and you're doing OK so far but from all your posts that I've read it seems you're letting her have her way all the time. I know you're afraid of losing her but try to lead sometimes and be a challenge. It will increase the spark in your relationship. In what way am I doing that? I think there is always a self-interest component on my part no matter what I'm doing although it appears that I'm letting her have my way. Maybe it sounds like manipulation when someone wants you to do something and you feel it's in your self interest to do something, while clearly they are benefitting - I do not think it is the case here. For example, going out of my way for 30 minutes out to see her, may appear like self-interest, but the other component is this - I'd rather see girls who live far from my home, where I have to travel a bit to see them, than one locally because I have a sense of detachment from the 'normal world'. Her request to look at romantic movies is a borderline one. I like watching all movies but tend to like analytical thinking movies as opposed to light and funny ones - but as of late I have been looking at movies that I dont normally like looking at, such as comedies, just for their theraputic value - sometimes it's good to go outside of the box once in a while. Her request that I should see a doctor for a lingering cough that's being going on for a month where we believe in 'natural cures' in here also seems reasonable. In other words, I really do not see anything unreasonable she is requesting, although it may put me in a sort of 'weak' position as I dont appear to be taking the lead. But I think I should be cautious as it seems like an ego concern. I suppose, the novelty of the situation would have me going out of the way since it's ethereal - and people go out of the way to experience something ethereal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 that is a weird request. I don't know, don't over interpret it, but don't go out of your way to fulfil it either. I would recommend some good, classic romantic movies that are well done. Like, "When Harry met Sally," "Love Story" or "Casablanca." "The way we were" is really good too. Thanks for the recommendations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 no problem. I have to say that I love when harry met sally and can watch it over and over again. great movie. that and Casablanca. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heroinmonkey Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 She is saying you need to rent porn and learn what sex is. She doesn't want to have to end up teaching a guy sex, like she did kissing. Fumbling sex when your 15 is one thing, but when you're 30 it's a turn off. The last thing she wants to hear is a grown man asking her "is this right?" in bed. Rent porn, read sex forums and hope you don't become a preemie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 16, 2007 Author Share Posted June 16, 2007 Thought I'd update this thread. We had plans to meet on Monday this week, but I cancelled on her. I had intended to go to the bookstore that morning to look for something business-wise, and my mom tagged along. I initially thought I'd spend not more than an hour, but with my mom tagging around, it mushroomed uncontrollably. I ended up cancelling the movie date that was set-up. Following that it seems there has been some sort of haitus, at least from my end. I'm getting busy with my business and just cant seem to be able to fit her in anywhere in my life anymore. I have left her messages which were 'updates' of how I was doing or being busy, but I feel too crowded out in here with my parents, in particular my mom, and of course, I need space to concentrate in my work. She has not returned any calls of any of my messages - but I never asked her to call me, I'd just say I'd call her up to set something when I have time....it's not really messages to reply too -- in fact, I just feel too crowded at this time to pursue any sort of relationship or friendship any further - I dont know what has happened, and I think she's likely busy too from her end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 maybe she feels you are losing interest, thereforeeee she is losing interest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 16, 2007 Author Share Posted June 16, 2007 maybe she feels you are losing interest, thereforeeee she is losing interest? You mean to say, if she was interested, then she obviously would have made some effort to contact me since Sunday, and since she didn't make any contact, then she has lost interest, even if I didn't specifically tell her on my messgage to call me back and I was just updating myself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 16, 2007 Share Posted June 16, 2007 well, I don't know - the way you have written about her, you don't seem so interested in her.... just a guess from my POV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 17, 2007 Author Share Posted June 17, 2007 Ok, I've left a couple of messages today, one earlier saying I'd call later in the evening, and one in the evening asking her to call me as soon as she gets the message. Given her prior message that she sometimes would like me to call a few times before she returns my call, I've decided on the following closing process. I'm going to wait for her to return my call; on Wednesday, I'll give her another call if she doesnt', and on Saturday that will be my last and final call, and if I dont hear from her on Wednesday (week after next week), then officially I'm going to move on. That way I'm not judging her or anything, and giving her the benefit of the doubt for a period of time while taking into account that it's predicted that she may likely not call back. At this point, perhaps I'm really not that interested in her or anybody for that matter or have room for a relationship in my life. Until I'm settled with my career and as long as my mom's crowding into my life - I dont think there is much breathing space for any relationship to florish. I'll conclude this thread the week after next week Wednesday if the prediction here is correct or report back on here if she does actually call back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Why do you think your mom is crowding you if you are choosing to let her crowd you? How do you feel about a woman who wants you to call her several times before she will call back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 17, 2007 Author Share Posted June 17, 2007 Why do you think your mom is crowding you if you are choosing to let her crowd you? Maybe I didn't explain myself properly. I needed some space and cancelled the date on Monday. It would seem that I'm not really interested in her if I need space from her as I think there is enough on my plate without over-investing time in a relationship with a girl that lives about 3/4 an hour away from here where I'm usually doing most of the accomidation by driving to her kneck on the woods. While it seems we have allot in common spiritually, values, and she has qualities that I think would have some potential for a good relationship, her looks are still not exactly what I'm looking for, I think there is a very weak chemistry (just enough to make it functional) and I think the connection is a bit weak; and if she's really going to put some sort of strain on me by seeming to be needly/clingy on me or really doesn't feel I'm interested in her and has to resort to these phone games... then I'm not sure this is going to work. I'm sure she wont call me back if that is the case. How do you feel about a woman who wants you to call her several times before she will call back? Normally she calls back when I leave a message and correspondence is usually in the evening. There was only one time in the past she acted up and didn't return my call until like a week afterwards, so this is not her 'normal' type of behaviour. When I see that her behaviour is changing back to square one then it would seem like she's lost interest - but I dont want to make any judgements yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Whatever process I have appears to be working. She called back with an excuse of delay being that she had some serious cold or sinus problem and wants to meet face to face with me. While I overanalyzed or perhaps jumped to conclusions about her, I did not voice them and kept myself under control and kept to my deliberate reguimen of leaving a short message (It's luke, call me as soon as you get this message) once every three days within a week's time - she answered back within the second call. I'm pleased to see that the new due process within my imaginary judicial process is working quite well, and I'm no longer losing anyone based on the way I'm reacting to something as in the case of that last girl I wrote about last year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 In further thought, the fact that she has ignored my messages and now wants to meet face to face to tell me something, indicates to me a high probability that she wants to end the relationship in some diplomantic manner, however, I dont think I'm apt to drive 30 minutes to her neck in the woods to hear some sort of BS and waste my time and gas. I'm thinking right now of just sending her an email and getting to the bottom of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think that's a bad attitude, Luke. I believe you are going to sabotage any chance you may have with this girl. I also suspect you aren't really into her that much and may be playing a few games with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think that's a bad attitude, Luke. I believe you are going to sabotage any chance you may have with this girl. I also suspect you aren't really into her that much and may be playing a few games with her. Email is nuked if it will sabatage any chances that I may have. I will meet her and report the results of that meeting, maybe I'll get something anyway. Me, playing games? How do you figure that? I left six messages, she only called once and came up with some lame excuse and you want to say I'm playing games? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I would like to say that I'm glad this system is working. I was just about to send an email to her, and I went back on here, read Missfirecracker's post and deleted the email right away. Yes, that was one firecracker that almost exploded in the wrong place, but thanks to missfirecracker it was rescued. In general, I think this place gives great insights into things and is in general very helpful. I think that God uses people on here to give good advice and talks through people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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