The Dumpers Support System

[houdini]

I had a thought (I know scary huh?) As a dumpee we have a huge support system especially here on enotalone. We get tons of encouragment from the other memebers and great advice. To stay away, to go into NC so we can heal, To not call, write, text, email etc. Considering the abundance of support for us dumpers here not to mention friends and family, What kind of support system the dumpers have and how can that possibly give any chance of reconciliation for the two parties involved?

 

 

Houdini

[woodmeister85]

I've noticed that even here on enotalone that dumpers get support too. They may be told they did the right thing, they may be told they were stupid for it and it's time to move on. I've seen some posts here for dumpers, and they got just as much support as us dumpees did.

[houdini]

I've read the support for dumper also. I agree that this forum also provides support for the dumpers in cases of abuse, cheating etc. But how much support does a dumper get when they leave their partner for another man or woman? Us here at enotalone hear the dumpers side of the story and we don't hear from the dumpee that the dumper is talking about here. We hear the dumpees side of the story on here but the dumper is not hear to tell their side of the story either.

 

I just wonder how much encouragment they get and how much support they get from others when the dumper left their partner for another man or woman

 

houdini

[caro33]

Maybe it depends how they did it?

 

I guess people here might understand and provide some support to someone who leaves their partner and handles the breakup with respect, even if they ultimately leave for another person. It's when the breakup involves real betrayal and unnecessary hurt that empathy here might dry up. It's a site well populated by people who have been hurt themselves, so it's understandable if they have less time for those who post here after acting poorly.

 

Even having said that, I have seen some "dumpers" who behaved badly receiving compassion and support where they can admit their behaviour was bad and if they seek to resolve their issues.

[kate111]

Because most dumpers are not hurting in a way which makes them feel powerless or out of control. So they don't need help or support.

[distroyed one]

I've read the support for dumper also. I agree that this forum also provides support for the dumpers in cases of abuse, cheating etc. But how much support does a dumper get when they leave their partner for another man or woman? Us here at enotalone hear the dumpers side of the story and we don't hear from the dumpee that the dumper is talking about here. We hear the dumpees side of the story on here but the dumper is not hear to tell their side of the story either.

 

I just wonder how much encouragment they get and how much support they get from others when the dumper left their partner for another man or woman

 

houdini

 

Are you kidding or are you serious?

Support for people that dumped their bf/gf for someone else, for people that cheated?

Why in the world would we give a support to those who did such a thing?

Ex cheated on me after 2 years of relationship, didn't have courage to tell me that and I've found out after seeing them on the street hugging and kissing! After that he didn't say a single word to me to explain his behaviour, or to say sorry! And I'm supposed to understand that? Just turn the other cheek?

He destroyed my life with lies and disrespect! After 8 months I still can't put myself together from the pieces that he broke me to.. I know that love doesn't has to last forever, you can stop loving someone.. But there is descent way to say it, there is respectful way to go away. You can't fall in love with one person until you stop loving someone else..

Selfish, self-centred persons really don't need out sympathy.. And, trust me, they don't feel pain for hurting someone at all.. They all live happily ever after not turning back about mess they've made in someone else's life..