Double J Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Both my girlfriend and I stay away from alcohol. Neither of us likes drinking. The thing is that even in social functions I tend not to, but in this case, my g/f does. She went out of town for a conference with her school this weekend. Last night she told me she went down to a club in the hotel to hear some music. At around 11:00 PM, she left me two messages saying she was getting ready to go to sleep and wanted to say goodnight. Without her even telling me anything in that message I knew right away that she sounded a little impaired. I spoke to her this morning and it turns out that she did drink and ended up a little buzzed. Here's the thing - it seems like when she hangs out with me, she doesn't touch ever want to touch alcohol, yet when she hangs out with female friends (as she did last night) she drinks to the point of getting a bit tipsy. Now, if I was to ask her (which I've done before) if it would bother her if I drank with some friends and got buzzed, she would tell me straight out that it would bother her and she wouldn't want me to do it. Do you smell hypocrisy here? Because I do. I think it's all a double standard. She probably thinks that me being tipsy would compel me to act on what my friends tell me or something. But she is very self-confident that since she's a girl she's better able to control herself. Do you guys think she's being unfair? What bothers me is that she wins regardless because if I want to drink alcohol I have to force myself to - I don't like the taste of beer, wine, vodka, rum, etc. But still, it bothers me that she would get upset if I was to do something she does by influence of those around her (the other girls). I don't know about you but I feel that something is not kosher here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 double standards are never good. has she given an explanation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Even though you don't care to, why would she be so against you going out w/ your friends for a couple of drinks? Does she not trust you? I think both of you should be able to once in a while. No harm in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWall Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 its peer pressure man. I have seen it at its worst. Girls are absolutely HORRIBLE with it. My ex's friends would make her go out with them instead of me and make her feel really bad if she went to hang out with me. One time she came over and went to the bathroom and got a text message. I was snoopy and read it, it said "We are not friends anymore, you told me you would come out with us tonight and you ditching us for a guy is completely uncalled for... GRRRR" It was something along those lines. Just forget about it man. There isn't much you can do that wont push her away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laboheme Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 It's normal to have a drink or two when you're out with friends...And if she very rarely drinks, it might take as little as one drink to get her tipsy. Meaning that she's not necessarily downing shots when you're not around. As far as her not wanting you to drink...maybe it's the fact that you're so outspoken about not liking alcohol and when you do drink, it looks to her like you're acting against your own morals? I had something like that happen with my ex...Both of us were pretty adamant about not getting drunk, and spent a lot of time talking about bad alcohol can be. So when I went to parties where alcohol was naturally present, he'd have a fit. And if I tried a sip of my friend's cocktail, oh boy, there'd be hell to pay. The explanation he gave for his reaction was that although he didn't care if I had a few sips, the fact that I generally dislike alcohol made him think that I'm not strong enough to stick to my own morals. Maybe that's the way you think, too...What is it exactly that bothers you: the fact that she had a drink, or the fact that she normally doesn't drink, but did with her friends? I'd say that if in general, you're more strict about alcohol than she is, then it's normal that she wouldn't drink around you, but would around her friends. In other words, it's not necessarily her friends' peer pressure that's to blame...your peer pressure NOT to drink is at play, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayles Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 She might be insecure that you're going to end up all drunk and testosterone will take over... you know how movies portray a bunch of guys out drinking... makes you all like like yobbos with no self control... I think this is what her issue is. Perhaps you should both agree to go out separately on a same night, and then she can "drop in on" you, at some pub or something and observe that you are not in fact a wild animal, but just a guy having a social drink - and trust me, if you're both out, she will drop by, especially if you are having a drink! hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWall Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I tend to find the at the bf/gf drops in that the WORST possible time so you better be on your A+ behavior that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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