Dialysis - the decision to accept this way of life

[Dilly]

My grandmother has had slowly declining renal function for years. Her glomerular filtration rate (GFR) is 14 today and yesterday it was 16. She also has CHF and after suffering a hip fracture recently, she caught pneumonia and was hospitalized Saturday night. She has always said she'd never go on dialysis and she is not interested now, but she was told by a doctor this morning that she would die if she refused. She asked for a second opinion. I don't blame her. It seems she always has a way of hanging on. I just don't know what to do. It's not my decision. But if she goes on, she most likely has to stay on.

 

Anybody know anything medical about this gray area? I just wonder if she could pull through or if the stress is making it worse. She's on diuretics now and not producing a whole lot of urine (60-150 mL).

 

THANKS!!! DIlly

 

I guess I'm just curious if anyone has any medical expertise here OR if there is an interactive website where someone might obtain knowledge re: medical matters. I know, asking for a lot here.

[robowarrior]

You know i've had a few family members die,and as they underwent all kinds of operations it really becomes a question wether an operation or not is worth it. Its not only about being alive after the operation, its about the quality of the life that is left after you've had an operation which is really important.

 

Dialysis on a regular basis has an tremendous impact on the quality of your life,especially when your older because this might be associated with a weaker body, so if you have been deteriorating then get a hip fracture, and then a pneumonia and then a dialisys, so its only normal that your grandmom is less then enthousiastic because she knows that this is just delay of execution, as her progress line has gone down over many years and only is plummeting even more now.

 

No one likes to lose a loved one, but eventually we all have to go. So in this knowledge and in the understanding that you truelly not blame her for her decision i would let her decide over the whole thing, and you trying having peace with whatever she eventually decides. I don't want to talk asif your grandmother is already dead, if a quality life can be obtained still after the dialisys, then mayhaps its worthwhile. Being in a hospital bed all day long is hell in itself, imagine you laying down attached to all those tubes to get your dialisys done on that bed unable to do nothing and that stuff goes on for weeks,month or even the rest of your life. You can't walk properly because of the hip fracture and you suffer from a pneumonia making it who knows how hard to breathe, im personally against stretching out life to the maximum, because honestly (although she has to determine that) what kind of quality life is there left after all of this. People going 'yay ,your alive' but don't ask what kind of life it actually is,full of pain,agony, i couldn't even live with the thought that my grandmother would be in pain.

 

So if your grandmother would say 'stop' i would let her walk out of life while fully respecting her decision, if she says continue i would respect her for her courage to go on.

[avman]

Hi Dilly. I'd suggest sending a PM to Hope75. She is a R.N. and might be able to help with this.

[rocio]

Wish I could help, Dilly, but I have no idea about that.

 

I lost my grandma about 4 months ago. I hope you don't have to go through that. My thoughts are with you.

[Dilly]

Thanks Robowarrier, Avman, and HazeyAmber! I think you all have your hearts in the right places. I just guess, like you, Hazey, I really just wanted her to meet the baby. But that's my own selfish desire expressing itself. Then, there's a bit of concern over whether she will get an unbiased message from my family who will likely have to be inconvenienced by this. I guess I hope they don't try to persuade her at all because the only message she should be getting is that they will support her no matter what. I will PM Hope!!! THANKS AGAIN!!!