jade519 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I am also in the same situation. My best friend happens to be a guy and we spend alot of time together. We talk everyday either on the phone or by text and hang out quite often. There comes a point in time every now and then that he needs space to back off and think about things. There is a pattern to this. It is always after having a serious talk about how we feel about each other. It is always hard for me when this happens but he always comes back. I just give him his space and go about my business. I miss him like crazy and it really hurts but in the long run our friendship gets stronger. I have very strong feelings for him and hope for a real true relationship with him one day. I know he has the same feelings for me and it scares him because he always says he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Anyway, hope this gives you some hope. Just give him the space he asks for. Hopefully he realizes how much he misses you and comes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeseburger Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 so do you just not call, and text anymore? see my rationale to that is...once you give him space he might get use to the fact that youre not around anymore, or he might think youre giving up....i dont want him to think that, but i do undertand that they need their space. its just hard because im afraid to lose him completely. it seems that my ex always backs off when he sees us getting too close as well...but then i always think, why did he stay with me for 10 months if he wasnt ready? i just really hope that in the long run, even if we dont end up together, that we can still become good friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jade519 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Everytime he has asked for space and time to think I have backed off. I don't call him and I don't text him. I leave that up to him. The first time I did that I was totally scared that I had lost him forever. He called me within a week I say. It started up slow and then things were back to normal. The second time I felt more secure with our friendship and knew he would be back. It lasted a couple of days. Then he started saying things like I would say I was just tired of everything and he would say even me? So I think he himself was a little afraid that I didn't need him anymore. This last time we had a big argument after the getting close with feelings...he called me within three days. I don't know your situation exactly but that is how it goes with me. I know he misses me when I am not around and I just remember that when this situation does happen. In your situation I would give it a little more time and go about your business. And like I said before hopefully he realizes how much he misses you and wants you around. Hope I have been of some help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman26 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 When someone asks for space 99% of the time that means they want to see other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jade519 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 my situation that is not the case. It could be in hers. but hopefully not. I guess I fall in the 1%. It means with him that he needs his alone time. He likes to be by himself alot and sometimes when he confesses too much to me it scares him and he backs off. I know he is not looking to find or see anyone else. We have talked about that many times. And we are just friends after all. But he wants to be around me and noone else. At the moment anyways. I also trust him 100% and i know he is totally honest with me. as i am with him. anyway just had to put in my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeseburger Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 thats the same situation with me...i know there isnt another girl, and i know he doesnt want to be with anyone else. he too likes his space, and he likes to be alone. He also backs off when he expresses too much feelings for me......i dont know why guys do that. theyre weird. but i am giving him his space for now..even tho it is killing me inside bc there is always that feeling of him not coming back. but i know in the long run, we'll be friends no matter what. its just hard when you want more than they do. but i know he deos just want space for him self, and i should respect that. i gues i just have to go about my day and keep myself busy. and only time will tell... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Not "guys" - some people need space. This particular guy does. My guy does not or if he does he doesn't feel the need to ask for it - i.e. he has enough space from me I guess. This particular guy pulls away when he gets close. It's important that you focus on him as an individual and not in a generalized "it's a guy thing" so that you don't excuse his behavior too much and also so that you don't presume that all men are going to behave this way if you start dating someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jade519 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Not "guys" - some people need space. This particular guy does. My guy does not or if he does he doesn't feel the need to ask for it - i.e. he has enough space from me I guess. This particular guy pulls away when he gets close. It's important that you focus on him as an individual and not in a generalized "it's a guy thing" so that you don't excuse his behavior too much and also so that you don't presume that all men are going to behave this way if you start dating someone else. I totally agree with you. In my situation he needs his space. And in the other situation it seems he needs it too. I have learned to read the signs that he is starting to feel that we are spending too much time together and he is not having his alone time. I am finding that when he goes through these phases that I enjoy my space also. It is nice to just do whatever without having to account for your time to someone else. Even though he likes his space and it is not because there is someone else around, it always shakes out that he tells me what he has been doing etc...I sincerely believe that he has to retreat once in awhile to assess our relationship. He always comes back, but i am afraid that one day that he won't. Hopefully I never will have to deal with that. Well, thats my two cents again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeseburger Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 Not "guys" - some people need space. This particular guy does. My guy does not or if he does he doesn't feel the need to ask for it - i.e. he has enough space from me I guess. This particular guy pulls away when he gets close. It's important that you focus on him as an individual and not in a generalized "it's a guy thing" so that you don't excuse his behavior too much and also so that you don't presume that all men are going to behave this way if you start dating someone else. you know what, youre right...thanks for pointing that out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.