Echo Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Hi all. I have been talking to someone online for a while. We know what each other looks like etc, sent pics, emails and plan to meet....but I thought doing the web cam would be a good start. What do you all think? I have never used one....can anyone offer tips? How do you use it?Can you talk or Do you still have to type? What are good tips for looking good on "camera"? haha.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I think the more you put in now before you actually meet, the more likely it is you are wasting the effort. I know of some suceesses of internet romance blooming into real romance, but I more often hear of failures. If you were meeting, then much of the talking and getting to know each ther should take place in person. When you do meet anyway, you will have done so much talking, that you should also first engage in fun without the need to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 So Beec, you don't think web cam is more 'real life" than just emails? We talk on the phone a lot too, but I think this is necessary BEFORE meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 No, I don't think so. I did on-line dating without ever having seen pictures of some women. When I met them is the first time I met them. Sometimes pictures decevie or only tell part of the story. Moreover, talking too much and knowing too much before meeting gets in the way of bonding when you meet. The person has bonded with another accross a computer screen, not with the person in front of them. A new type of bonding must take place and too much beforehand gets in the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 I can see your point. I just thought web camming would put a more 'real" spin on it. Where you actually SEE the person as an animated being...with inflections, etc. Plus..if I don;t like what i see on the web cam then I likely won;t enjoy being there in person, does that make sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beec Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 It might make sense, but it doesn't seem to work in most cases. That's not to say never, but it gets things out of order in the building of a relaitonship. In some ways, you get very intertwined in your life and very intimate, and then you have not met. If you had met and developed the relationship in a more traditional manner, then you would build it up in a different order. Your trust of each other would follow a pattern most of us follow. Your intimacy with each other, the sharing of your lives, etc., etc. The more involved you become on line, the more you mix up the order of building the relationship. It's like putting up a house, but not framing, wiring, plumbing, installig mechanicals, roofing, siding, putting up walls, for a house in a normal order and manner, but framing it all out, and adding the HVAC stuff, but no plumbing or wiring, siding some portions and leaving the others as bare bones. Some people can do this, but for many the order matters. And as far as trying to take out all the risks, you cannot. So meet the person and take a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurian Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 I've used a webcam in the past. Pros: - You can see the other person if you chat anyways. You can see them react to your words instead of just smilies. - You get used to their mannerisms a bit - It does feel more "real" than just typing or pictures Cons: - A webcam takes a lot of "space" so you can't surf online while chatting without interrupting the feed. - Some cams are pretty unforgiving of facial flaws - You're always "on" which makes chats a bit more pressured - you are staring at each other instead of staring at a screenie Webcams are about $50 for your basic model, although you can get more expensive or cheap ones. You can get one with a microphone so you can talk (or you can buy a microphone separately for about $20), or you can have a cam going and type instead. You use it by plugging it into your computer and installing any software (it comes with the camera). You'll have a little camera that you place on top of your monitor. If you're using a chat program, you should be able to select a webcam button in order to use. You may have to tinker with your firewall permissions since a camera is more "intrusive" (I had to allow the chat program full access through my firewall to get my camera to work properly). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desert_rose26 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Yes, you must try it at least once. I've used it several times and it definitely helps to feel closer to him and also to some point lets you see the details of the person..how they act, facial expression, etc. You might also find out something you don't like. I honestly can't think of any cons of using the webcam to learn more about a person you haven't met. The above suggestions are good but I agree that some people are better with this sorta stuff than others. There is nothing to lose when it comes to actually seeing the person when you're chatting. Also, I have to tell you from experience, if you haven't met the person before and are worried about having chemistry in person, the webcam actually helped too. I actually felt the chemistry there! wow. Now we are going to be meeting soon, and it reassures me that we at least will have some chemistry if not a lot. I should also add that my experience is slightly different because we had a long period of time until we would be meeting (different countries). If you are doing "online dating" which I'm NOT, of course saving the first impression for first date should be good enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMR87 Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 It give you a better sense of closeness. I don't think that it is a must before meeting, but I do think it is helpful. Cons: - A webcam takes a lot of "space" so you can't surf online while chatting without interrupting the feed. Really? I've never found that to be true with either my cam or my girlfriends. - Some cams are pretty unforgiving of facial flaws That's very true. If you have a little pimple, it sometimes can make it seem a lot more noticeable. - You're always "on" which makes chats a bit more pressured - you are staring at each other instead of staring at a screenie You can always unplug it though. It's not that you HAVE to keep it plugged in. There is one other con I can think of. It can promote a sense of jealousy, thinking that the other is getting on cam for other people doing things you wouldn't like. This is not at all a guarantee, but it is a possibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicguy Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 with a webcam you can see the person and you atleast have an idea of what they look like and their facial expressions. There are a lot better webcams nowadays with better image quality, so get one of those. Webcamming can be a lot of fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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