Much younger boyfriend advise needed

[toughlife]

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. There is more than 15 years difference in age between us. He is a business man and grew up in Europe and doesn't seem anything like someone of his age. He's very muscular and tall, so appears older than his age. I am very petite and youthful in appearance. thereforeeee, people who don't know us, don't think that we are that different in age.

 

When we first started dating he pursued me and wasn't honest about his age. Once I found out, it was really too late for me to change my feelings about him. However, he lied about a few other things as well and I have broken up with him 3 different times.

 

Now I am certain that he is lying again about being in town when he is not. He seems to go to one city on a regular basis and lies about it. He recently made up excuses that he just needs some space for the last few days and didn't want to get together. Usually, we see each other almost every day, except around once a month he gets weird.

 

I don't know that this could ever be a forever relationship, but when we are together, I couldn't be happier. We have sex that is unbelievable. We have countless common interests and never run out of things to do or discuss. We laugh constantly and really enjoy each other's company in a very easy way.

 

Should I confront him and break up again...only to get back together probably or just let it be what it is?

[Beec]

Welcome to ENA.

 

Although you do not say it, you seen to think he is cheating on you. Most cheating occurs because an emotional need is not being fulfilled by the relationship. This is less true with men than women. Some men just heat and have a desrie for more than one woman. In some cultural groups, the men are expected to have a woman on this side. So, if this is a relationship you enjoy, there may be some extent that you either need to choose to accept what he is willing to give you or let it all go.

 

However, there is one alternative that you might think about. With almost all of us, we want what we cannot have, not that which is readily available. With men, we usually do not want women who readily give us sex. There is one big exception. If a woman uses a man for sex, then acts as if it is not significant, he may often end up falling for and becoming obsessed with her. I've know someone who met a woman who would see him, have really hot sex with him, then act as if they had done nothing significant. He thought of her first as a a woman not worth his time, then began falling for her. Appearing as if you want him just for sex may work for you.

 

I have also suggested something like to following to a few women. Go over to see him wearing a skirt, with nothing else covering what counts on you. Be affectionate, but sit him down and once sitting, segue into you standing, with your skirt up and telling him to get in there and orally service you. After you've had enough, keep him in the chair, except to get his pants down, then ride him. After the end of the act, get off and walk off as if it was nothing, telling him if he is good he may get some more, later. And leave. It has worked very well for a woman who can potraly the end as if she is just using him.

[shes2smart]

My husband's 11 years younger than me and he's as faithful and loyal as they come.

 

The problem you've presented has nothing to do with the age difference...it has to do with his character. Do the pluses of the relationship outweigh the minuses of (suspected) cheating?

 

That's something you'd have to figure out for yourself. Some people are ok in relationships where either they or their SO has other partner(s). For me, if I'm in a relationship with someone, I have the expectation that it is a monogamous relationship. That means if he's cheating, I'm gone.

[toughlife]

Thank you for your response. We are both from non-American cultures and perhaps that may be part of this. As far as the sex, we definitely spend a lot more time doing other things than sex. I don't think I could pull off your suggestion of acting like not caring. This relationship is a very caring one - when we are together. That would be completely foreign to my character and I have no idea how he would react. But again thanks for the response.

[isisastaria]

Just a few things to check in with:

 

Do you ever hear yourself saying the following things?

 

"Lying is unacceptable in a relationship with ME"

 

"I am worth respect, love and care ALL of the time"

 

"If things aren't making me happy enough with this man, I can find other wonderful men to have a great relationship with. After all, there are a lot of great kind men out there"

 

"If I talk to him about this, I know he will understand and be honest in his answer. We can work this out and come to an understanding"

 

"Our connection is so honest and intimate, I know we will get through it and our relationship will be strengthened by this"

 

If not, there's a huge problem

[isisastaria]

It takes someone with feelings of being unlovable to put up with unlovable behavior and "SETTLE"

 

Human beings are all capable of love, as you are .