A "friend break-up" after a very close friendship

[belissima86]

Friends can break-up and it's similar to a relationship break-up. Me and my best friend of 7 years used to be sickly close. (Notice my word choice). And I feel that it's all in the past and I wish to leave it there but she persists we pick things up again, I just have zero desire to do so. I feel bad, there isn't anythnig wrong with her. I just feel I have outgrown our friendship. Some of my friends ask what the harm would be in trying it out but I just really do not want to. I feel that once I do, it would be hard to go back to not seeing her if that is what I would still want. To me, once someone is gone I don't miss them. she misses me but I really do not feel the same way...and I know I must sound mean but it is how I feel. She never did anything to me, it's just that it was smothering, and I felt I wasn't my own person around her. I am happy with the way things are and I don't want to go back in the past.

Also for a bit of friendship history, me and this girl hung around with a big group of people in high school and while she met them mostly through me, we were by far the closest. She drifted from them because of a new boyfriend and university....etc and we still talked but we drifted too, I just found we both changed.

So the situation is that she contacts me to spend time with her and she has spoken with one or two of my friends on this and I feel she is trying too hard towards a lost cause. I really don;t mind if she sees my friends of course I just don't wish her to constantly be around me.

Any thoughts on this at all???? Feel free to ask me any questions!!

[EvaGina]

I had a friend like that, and I ended up kissing her bf (sounds worse than it was, its a LONG invloved story...)

 

but she was totally abusive.. beat me up, made me her scape goat, rejected me, made fun of me etc etc...

I stopped talking to her, she told her friends we were still hanging out (!!!) and when I started talking to her again she came onto my bf and when he didnt do anything about it she would abuse him.

 

and then she involved herself in the life of my friend who is dating her ex, she tried to ruin their relationship.

 

NOW I dont really talk to her, Ill send her the odd text if somthing big that concerens her crops up, she knows I dont hate her, but I dont want to associate with her in that kind of way anymore.

 

Im polite, but not chummy

[belissima86]

Wow, that's crazy! Thanks for sharing Eva

I am looking for opinions on my situation if anyone has them, I don't know if I sound childish but is it normal to feel the way I do?

[EvaGina]

NO, its not childish at all.

You are allowed to stop talking to your friends, you are allowed to feel like you have grown apart and dont paticulary relish the thought of spending time with them

[JoJo90814]

This kind of stuff happens all of the time. It just does. We grow apart from people. If you don’t want to be her friend that is a choice you have made for some reason that is important to you.

 

Recently my best friend and I "broke up." The reason’s are not important but what is, is the way I started to FEEL around her, which was not good. Other events occurred and we don’t talk anymore. It was my choice but still extremely painful and the right thing to do.

 

Here is a little saying I like:

 

 

"We are like trees. There are roots who hold us up and maintain us and nourish us. These are real people in our lives and are few and far between. Then there are branches which are strong but still can break off and are not our roots. Then there are the leaves. These leaves are bountiful and colorful, but fall all the time and are not solid in our soil that our tree is grounded on.

 

I used to think I had a lot of roots holding up my tree, but over the course of time I have realized these are my branches and leaves.................-Tyler Perry"

[emma34]

I'm currently the girl on the other side so while im a little bias i understand your situation. Friends don't have to be forever, but if u don't want to be friends with her anymore - be straightforward and honest with her, or it will be even worse, and she will continue to feel confused.

 

tell her the truth why you don't want to be friends with her anymore - and there is nothing she can do. try to be nice about it though.