sara_0562 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ok im very clueless when it comes to dating becasue it seems with my previous relationships we jumped right into a committed relationship and skipped the whole "dating" part. So i have known this guy for almost a month and we have been on about 3 dates. I really like this guy but hes not really showing much interest. we talk maybe once a day online and he hasn;t called me in a while. Im usually the one to initiate conversation and ihave noticed that he never really asks things about me. I kno all of this is huge red flags which should tell me hes not interested. When i ask him where he sees this going he says "lets just see what happens" and when i ask why he shows no interst he says "i ahve been really busy... blah blah blah" So should i block or delete him from my msn which would make him actually call me if he was ever interested? I feel like i should just stop talking to him all together, play hard to get and jsut wait and see what happens. If nothng happens then i kno hes not interested... any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frangipani1 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Sounds like you have the right idea... only don't think of it as playing hard-to-get.... just make the choice to move on and find someone who gives you the time and effort you deserve... And remember that if you start to play hard-to-get you can end up attracting a guy who loves the thrill of the chase rather than you...and that spells disappointment. Or game-playing. All the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puppy Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 I suggest you let him make the contact. If he doesn't for a period of time, then it's best to let go and move on. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 He souunds like a shy, insecure guy who believes he is walking on eggshells - he doesn't want to risk saying anything that you will disapprove of. Thats why he doesn't ask much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Hes not interested... he likes you but doesnt want to date you. Dont block him, he hasnt done anything wrong, he just doesnt know how to tell you. Just move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurian Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 I'm not picking up a shy vibe from the OP's post. This guy just doesn't seem to be interested. I'd look elsewhere for a relationship. 3 dates in a month isn't a good sign and a lack of interest in your life or lack of reason for being busy aren't either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara_0562 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ya you alll are right. SHould i just stop contacting him and delete him from msn or should i confront him about it and see what he wants? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ya you alll are right. SHould i just stop contacting him and delete him from msn or should i confront him about it and see what he wants? If I were you I'd take the confrontation option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurian Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Depends what you want. I don't like confrontation myself and I don't respond well to being ignored, so I'd probably just delete him from MSN myself. If he wants something more, he can call you and set something up (if you're even still interested!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara_0562 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 I think i kinda have already confronted him before. He didn't contact me for two days and i was kinda upset and then he finally messaged me two days later. I asked him why he doesn't contact me very often and if hes not interested to just tel me and it will be alright... i just dont want to waste my time. He then replied by saying "i messaged you didn;t i?" and then went on saying how busy he is... Am i expecting to much from this guy since were not a "committed couple" yet? Or if he was really interested he woud be showing it more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 I would find your behavior pushy and annoying. Watch the feet - what he does - not the lips - what he says. A man who is sincerely interested won't want to just have on line contact- he will want to hear your voice and see you as well, at least once a week. He will call you in advance to make sure you are free to see him and to prevent you from being snapped up by another guy. If to you this is "playing hard to get" by deciding to stop pressuring him as to "why" he doesn't contact you more often, so be it. I call it having a sense of dignity and self-worth such that you don't want to be with someone who you need to question this early on "why didn't you call me??" Of course he's going to say he's busy - that's the easy way out - and we're all too busy when we're not that motivated. I would respond to his next IM with "thanks so much for IMing me -I don't have time to chat on line these days but if you ever want to get together again feel free to call and if I'm free we'll do something - take care!" And that's it. Finito. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara_0562 Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 your soo right im pretty pathetic!! Hes obviously made it clear hes not interested and for some reason just wont verbally come out and say it! but his actions are very clear and i can see that now. Should i even make myself available online or just block him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 You are not pathetic just not used to the dating scene - it's fine and sorry if I was harsh! I wrote above how to respond to his message. No need to block - if he is interested he will respect your wishes as to how you wish to be contacted. If he continues to IM you give him another chance, repeat the same message and then don't respond again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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