fnlyfrei Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Okay, the big day is planned for July 7th...his family and friends are flying in from all over...cool. He talked to his sister this morning...(whom I haven't met yet) and told her that they were planning to go white water rafting the week before the wedding...she went crazy and said SHE wanted to go as well ! BUT...the rafting trip would have to be moved up right next to the wedding day....(he said he hoped I wouldn't mind) and everyone would be getting back from the trip the day/morning of the wedding. Um...yeah. He doesn't get that even a small wedding takes a bit of planning..and set up. I am picturing him walking up the aisle at the last minute in a wetsuit. After I voiced my, er...concerns about the timing, he said that he had been joking....we would work it out. (I really do not think he was joking folks) And then sort of pouted. I do not want to be "Bridezilla"...this is my second wedding...we both have teenagers...and I don't want it to be the wedding of the century...just special, and I want it to be special for him too... Argh...I never realized that the wedding part was going to be such a big PAIN in the butt ! I wish we could just go to Las Vegas. Any good, CHEAP wedding ideas out there? We are hoping to find a nice picnic area in the mountains (colorado) and have a casual outside wedding with a bbq afterwards. And should I just tell him to go white water rafting? Or was I being a jerk? Link to comment
Jetta Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Is the wedding already planned? If not let him go whitewater rafting and move the date a couple of days. If it is then I wouldn't like the idea of him doing that the day before, anything can happen to cause a delay. You can't really forbid it just talk to him and hope he complies, otherwise pick a different day for the wedding (since it doesn't sound like you have it all planned yet). Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 I am not against the white-water rafting trip. I am against the timing. We are trying to have a low-budget wedding, which will be labor-intensive...if everyone is rafting..who is going to set up and get things ready? I am going to ask him to move the trip a day ahead so they are back Friday. I could stay behind and work. I forgot how stressful weddings are....I was just thinking about the good stuff...I had hoped to aviod too much stress. That is a goal within itself. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Are you going white-water rafting too? Its good fun! Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 his sister is being TOTALLy selfish... its your WEDDING, your not being bridezilla, your being sensible and there is no reason why you should have to set everything up youself... I would jsut say "this is our wedding, not "my" wedding" and its definitely not his sisters wedding Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 A wedding is a high pressure time no matter the size, I think asking to move the rafting to so close to the wedding is highly selfish and not giving any thought to how it will affect others. If she wants to raft so badly, she can go at the time that was already decided on or arrange a trip for after the wedding. Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 I am trying NOT to be poopy. I haven't even met his sister so I do not want to cause strife before I even meet her. I actually told him that we could postpone the wedding and they could just have their trip...I think it is logistically impossible to try to cram all of that within a three day period. He will not accept that either..so I guess we have a lot to work out. And yeah...when you marry someone you marry their family too...I hope that this doesn't turn into a recurring theme. Yikes. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 its a white water rafting trip... inconsequential compared to a wedding. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 He's being totally irrational. They can have a rafting trip at some other time - your wedding takes priority over that, and he's got to understand that. Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 Okay....so we discussed it last night. No resoloution. He would actually like to get married on the rafting trip. I wouldn't. I feel like this is a test. If I would do it I would be cool. If I don't agree..I am being difficult. What do I do? I guess if this is a deal-breaker for him...it is for the best. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Whitewater rafting can be great fun, but it can be about getting sunburned, injured, sore, overtired, etc. depending on how wild the ride is... so i think he is being unrealistic to expect this the day before the wedding... i hate to raise this specter, but isn't this a guy you have only know about 4 or 5 months that you are getting married to? please don't rush the wedding, until you are really sure that this wedding and marriage really means something to him, and you are marrying who you think you are. why the rush to get married? i would just say be careful, because i married someone after i had only know him about 6 months, and most of the discovery i should have made before the wedding, i made after, and spent many years regrettting the hasty decision before finally divorcing. so i suggest you continue to date him, even go whitewater rafting if it is so important to him, but postpone the wedding until you are sure he is not a selfish sod... Link to comment
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