Coping strategy ok?

[boston23]

So my ex broke up with my at the beginning of December. He got together with a new gf within 2 weeks of our breakup (even before I had moved my stuff out). I know that he is definitely not over our break up (this new gf is his attempt to try), but that doesn't really concern me.

 

Although I recognize with my head that I wouldn't want to get back together with him, my heart and emotions aren't ready to deal with that quite yet (or at least at all times). When I get upset about not being together with him now, the thing that seems to make me less upset is to think about the fact that NC will eventually work and he will eventually ask for me back (9 months from now, whatever). Is it ok to think like this? I know I don't really want him back (and I don't really care if NC ends up working), but trying the whole "He's not worth it, you'll find a better guy, you deserve so much better" does not help a bit when I find myself on the bus with tears in my eyes.

 

So...

Is it ok that I think like this even if it's tricking myself?

Do you guys have any coping strategies you find helpful when you're in a place that you really can't suddenly burst into tears and yet you feel like you might?

 

Thanks for your comments!

[kermit]

I would think about NC as a time to accept that you don't want to get back with him, not a time to wait for him to beg you to comeback.

 

The first one you have control over, and you can succeed with, the second one leaves you waiting for something that might never happen.

[EvaGina]

when I needed the strength to kick out my ex... I found a whole bunch of old letters from friends.

When you realise how many people love you, and how much, then what you had with him will pale in comparison

[boston23]

Hi kermit! Thanks for the reply (btw--look at your new "Member" status )

 

I don't think like that all of the time...just when I'm about to cry in public (and I don't cry in private anymore) because something has suddenly reminded of being together with him (something visual or where I am). I feel like I have 2 sides of NC: the times when I'm completely feeling together and really proud for never having begged, etc, and then the times when I feel total despair about the situation. I just don't know what to think during the despair that would be constructive.

 

After we broke up, the one thing that I couldn't bare to hear from anyone was, "He's not good enough for you," I guess because I didn't want to believe it's true. When I'm really upset, I just get more upset thinking something like that.

 

 

[kermit]

Updated signature! Whooo Hooo!

 

I don't think you should be concerned about the moments of despair, they will diminish with time, eventually the 'strong you' will be there all the time. I would be more concerned if you never had the good feelings.

 

Time heals all wounds. And hopefully wounds all heels.