Happy Valentines day to me!!

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

WEll my story for today is...Im too smart for my own good. I stubbled accross my boyfriends password. ive always felt that something wasnt right these past 2 years and oh and behold i was right. I went into his emaiil and found letters upon letters upon letters that he sent to other girls with the last one dating back to last may. Him telling them that he wants to be with them and he loves them sending them pics of me(the bad ones) and pics of him. Just stuff like that. Telling them the same things that he says to me. So i called him told him, asked him about it and now he's begging telling me that he was too gutless to tell me about it but he got on my azz just for having guys on my messenger. i gave him the passes to alllllllllllll my accounts but i had to figure his out and it hurts so bad. i dont know what to do anymore.

 

Should i leave or should i stay?

[luvursmile]

You should leave him! Hes been cheating on you for a long time. What makes you think he's gonna stop now? He'll just be more careful, thats all!

 

Im sorry about your situation. You should definitely leave him!

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

after 5 years i find this out. i thought id never see the day.

[Daddy Bear]

I'm sorry that you got played so nastily, and that you found out about at this supposedly happy point in the year. I might recommend that you try at least a trial separation, and see how you like it.

[luvursmile]

I can imagine its tough...5 yrs is a long time!

 

However, he is obviousely not the man you thought he was. I would leave him if i were you.

 

maybe a 1 time thing can be forgiven, but this was going on for a while.

[darkpumpkin]

There are people out there I find that need to make connection/get attention even when happy with someone else. It is up to you if you can live with your boyfriends "internet cheating" if that's all that it has been. Mine is always on the computer and to tell you the truth I will never try and find his password. I don't want to know what he does. And if I do find out he is sending emails similar to what your guy has I would dump him. But I would talk to him see if you can't come to some kind of understanding that it has to stop.

[darkpumpkin]

If you want to stay with him.

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

well he says he stopped it at that last email and he hasnt spoken to them(by the way the girls were friends and he was talking to the both of them) and he says that he was stupid and he knows that he has screwed up. He's been begging me for 2 hours now not to leave him and how sorry he is and how i didnt deserve that and how he doesnt deserve me. 5 years is a long time and ive never wanted to leave him before. I dont think i can. I dont like being alone. Ive never just been alone before, i usually bounce back but this is something different. Im IN love with him madly, deeply. we were planning our engagement for this summer.

[darkpumpkin]

I think you should make it clear it has to stop. Another thing no more secret passwords. Everyone needs their privacy but really there shouldn't be anything that someone needs to hide from their SO on the computer. I agree you shouldn't just dump him and leave him. 5 years is a long time and the answer isn't always to walk away.

[Daddy Bear]

If you're able to forgive him, that's awesome. Just don't be caught unawares if the pattern continues.

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

Im putting my guard back up after 4 years of having it down(i didnt let down until the year after we met). he's doing a good job at trying to make it up but i wont tell him that. Im going to make him beg me like he made me do for him when he found the guys on my messenger. The difference between what i did and he did was he was talking sexual and loving to them but i wasnt doing anything but having normal conversations with them and i barely talked to them, never sent them emails or pictures. so i guess my hubbys glitter isnt gold, its just copper or fools gold. **sigh** i cant even think straight right now...

[darkpumpkin]

Give it some time. First thing you should do is calm down to think rational. I agree you shouldn't talk to him. Tell him to go away until you think about things.

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

Hes begging me to forgive him but i cant because i cant forget it right now..it does no good to forgive and not forget.

[Hope75]

The only reason he's begging is because you broke into his email and found out and he got caught... do you think he ever would have confessed this to you had you not caught him in the act by spying?

 

You hacking his account tells me you do not trust him... and it would seem with very good reason- two major red flags why this relationship may not be the best one for you to be in right now.

 

So I ask you this- would you honestly settle for marrying someone who lied to you and hid this from you after 5 years together? Do you really think that you can trust him? Or are you williing to settle because you don't want to be alone?

 

I think that being alone and giving yourself a chance to find a man who is loving and honest and respectful and shows you this with his actions, and alot better than settling for a guy who lies and possibly cheats- simply because you don't want to be alone.

 

What do you think?

[Dilly]

Agree completely. Time is the only thing that will heal you now because his words are rubbish. People often think that their partners FEEL guilty after they are caught doing something they should have known was WRONG!!! But all it is is FEAR of the logical consequences.

 

Love is amazing and can conquer all, but this poor man is so disillusioned and lost - what did he think that it was just a game, taht these people were somehow not real that he was communicating with? It's not a damn fantasy. Had he met and hooked up with any of them in person?

[lizziebee]

Oh honey I am so sorry....I know how you feel.....should I stay or should I go? Scary huh? Find a friend, family and get out after you confront him!

[EvaGina]

sending them pics of me(the bad ones) and pics of him.?

 

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE

 

This is shocking, deliberatly embarrassing you to his friends?

unacceptable.... utterly disgusting.