I'm supposed to be the cold one.

[EmptySoul]

You're all bones

Cigarette in between long fingers

Legs tucked beneath the glass coffee table.

Sunlight shines through the sliding door

Making visible the swirling smoke

You exhale into the room.

 

You're all smile

Half a day going by

Playing on the couch

Laughing

You made it more every time, you did.

 

We're a tangle of legs in the bed

Your heartbeat worrying me

Not sounding healthy, even in sleep.

I watch red numbers go by

You wrapped tight around me

Breathe in, breathe out

We're so young

And I'm still wishing we could live forever.

I know in the morning I'll smell like you.

 

Your voice no longer soft

Admitting, quietly, that you can't wait to see me.

You're calm, and cold, and sure.

Blank

On the other side of the room.

I shift restlessly

Used to your hand in my hair

Your lips on my forehead

You next to me on the couch

So I put my hands in my lap and wait.

 

You tell me, let's go

And your eyes are empty, before and after.

I get dressed with numb hands, and for the first time with you

I hate myself.

 

You made it more.

In all the weeks,

In all the phone calls, in all the plans

And things you did and said.

 

Every time you say, I'm sorry

Every time I say, It's okay

We're both lying.

 

-E.

[NKP]

WOW i LOVED it, it was amazing, everything you right means so much and i love that.

[EmptySoul]

Thanks so much for replying. This is the first piece of writing I've really gotten out on this subject. I'm glad you guys liked it.

 

-E.