MM58904 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. I love him dearly and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. We haven't made love yet, but I'm going to the dr's next week to talk about getting on birth control. We are going to use a condom too, I'm paranoid lol. I'm just scared that it will hurt. I know it will obviously. He has put his finger in me and it just hurt a little, but it's just his finger. it didn't feel too bad. I know it will hurt a lot more when we actually have sex. He puts his finger in me just so I can get used to it a little and maybe it won't hurt as bad when we have sex. I am still nervous that it will hurt so much I wont wanna do it anymore or I won't like it. My boyfriend is not rushing me and knows I wanna take things slow. I just wanna know if there's anything we can do to make it not hurt so much, or any tips/sugguestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigheart09 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Can I ask how old the both of you are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelEyez Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Are you sure you're ready? If you believe in saving yourself, don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM58904 Posted February 4, 2007 Author Share Posted February 4, 2007 I know he is and I know I am. We're both 22. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Don't plan on having it. Just keep the protection close and at a time you're feeling relaxed and ready then go for it, don't do it if you're nervous, it will hurt a lot as you will lose all lubrication your body produces. Make sure he spends a lot of time arousing you at first, lots of foreplay so lubrication builds up and your walls prepare themselves. Perhaps place a little lube on the condom before he inserts. It's not going to be entirely comfortable but it's going to be as comfortable as you can get on your first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigheart09 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I had sex the first time with someone I loved, and it was pretty good...still a little painful though. We had to try a bunch of times though before it went in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 What do you mean? Did he lose his erection? How did you overcome that? I'm just interested in all the things that can and do go wrong and how to overcome them so when my time comes I'll know what to do. I want to make things run perfectly, even though that's highly unlikely for a first time, but as perfect for both my partner and myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laboheme Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 When you talk to your doctor about birth control, you could mention the worries that you have, if you're comfortable enough talking to her/him about it. I'm sure that he/she got that question before, and maybe you'll be able to get some advice. Also, once you're on birth control and you have some condoms stashed in your bedside drawer, stop thinking about it. Overanalysis will make you clench up, guaranteed. Just go with the flow and when you're in the mood, let him go a little further than he went the last time...Let it happen naturally. If you overthink everything, it will take the fun and the pleasure out of it. Yes, sex is serious business and requires some degree of planning, but it's the spontaneity that makes it great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g1234567890h Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I'd say stop thinking about it and enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 spend A LOT of time fooling around first when I lost mine I had never had even a finger in me... but it didnt hurt at all. We spent about six hours messing about before we decided to have sex (I never saw him again, my parents found out and I got shipped off to boarding school) the second time I had sex it HURT... A LOT becuase we just went for it, no warm up... so... yes... A LOT of foreplay is needed good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 (I never saw him again, my parents found out and I got shipped off to boarding school) That's horrible! But one question, did you mess around with the guy or was the attention mainly spent on you? I'm just wondering if too much foreplay on a guy would "disarm" him so to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Meh, its ok... he wasnt the best guy anyway, he was really mean to me once I was gone. and I did kinda get pregnant, so Im sure my parents had right to be mad (anyway, if I hadnt gone to boarding school I wouldnt have met my current boyfriend, so its a good thing in the long run) we messed around with eachother... He didnt last long I can hardly remember it, but I know it didnt hurt. I think he was pretty nervous, which may have made him last a bit longer, but it tends to have the opposite effect, doesnt it? As far as I can tell, when a man first starts having sex, its such a novelty and a turn on, you dont have to wait very long for him to recover and be able to do it again anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Yeah, over time the refractory period lengthens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 AHHHHHHH, CLINICAL TERMS!! -runs- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 we messed around with eachother... He didnt last long I can hardly remember it, but I know it didnt hurt. I think he was pretty nervous, which may have made him last a bit longer, but it tends to have the opposite effect, doesnt it? Me and my girlfriend decided we were ready for sex just over a month ago. After about 3-4 hours of messing around with eachother (I had already given her about 2 orgasms through clitoral stimulation so she was quite prepared) but for some reason I couldn't keep myself erect. As soon as we got the condom on (only took 10 or so seconds) and we got into the position ready to insert it decided to go down. I was quite nervous and I blame that combined with her playing with me a fair bit before hand. I didn't ejactulate but I still think it had something to do with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 AHHHHHHH, CLINICAL TERMS!! -runs- Hahah, it's basically the time between ejaculation and the next erection. It can be anywhere from less than a minute (in some lucky men) to a couple of hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 ^^ somtimes it takes my bf hours, somtimes minutes... I normally depends on how tired he is Me and my girlfriend decided we were ready for sex just over a month ago. After about 3-4 hours of messing around with eachother (I had already given her about 2 orgasms through clitoral stimulation so she was quite prepared) but for some reason I couldn't keep myself erect. As soon as we got the condom on (only took 10 or so seconds) and we got into the position ready to insert it decided to go down. I was quite nervous and I blame that combined with her playing with me a fair bit before hand. I didn't ejactulate but I still think it had something to do with it. Yep... my bf used to get this a lot (back when we were 15 and 16) especially if we tried to use condoms. the poor guy Its happened to him recently as well, but I am better equiped to deal with it now.. ie, I am understanding and loving... instead of finding it hilarious and giggling my head off, like I used to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 How did he overcome it? My girlfriend didn't laugh. She was understanding and just said "It doesn't matter, you don't need to do this to show me you love me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 he overcame it with me actually after we broke up when I was 15, I left boarding school, but when I went up to visit he and I would invariably end up in bed When he started getting nervous, I just spent a long time, hours, lying with him, turning him on but talking him down, taking it slow... it was the condom that would always do it to him... so ~I~ put it on and when I did I kept his attention focused on kissing me instead of what was happening below the belt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Is he circumsized? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Nope (lol, see thread about hurting his tackle in bed the other day ) Why? may I ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Because niether am I. Now I'm almost certain that's a major factor too. When you put the condom on him, did you roll back his foreskin? Does it still work if you don't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 no... you have to roll the foreskin back or he cant really feel much at all. it helps for her to do it, and for both of you to be able to laugh about sex in general If she just holds the condom in one hand while she masterbates you, then tries to slip it on and things with as little interruption as possible, that normally works 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Ah, thanks so much. Even though this thread wasn't about me you helped me heaps! Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 bahhhhhhh hah a we dominated the thread!!! Happy to help sorry to the thread maker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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