spikespiegel Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Backstory: Breakup beginning December. Usual talking / pleading until just before Christmas. No contact since Christmas. Relationship was just over a year (14 months). So I have been in contact with my ex with increasing frequency recently. The weekend before last, she contacted me to express sympathy about my Grandpa passing away (which happened more than a week before she found out). Then, this last weekend, she saw me at work and texted me to say that it had been forever since she saw me and it would be nice to talk and catch up. The last couple of days, we have been e-mailing back and forth about our classes this semester. Then today, she texts me to tell me that she heard what used to be "our" song on the radio. 2 minutes afterwards, she texted to apologize, saying that it was inappropriate. I was dumbfounded. I asked her where that came from, and after several texts back and forth, she basically said that she didn't mean anything by it, and didn't mean to cause me any hurt, she just heard the song on the radio, thought of me, and wanted to tell me. I can understand this, because I've wanted to do the same with her, but never have, it's just something you don't do with ex's (I think at least?). The strange thing is, I found out that she's been dating someone since almost immediately after we broke up. So I don't understand what her motivation is to text me something like that, when it seems she is trying to get serious with a new guy... Maybe she just had a weak moment and gave in? I don't know. Thoughts? Ideas? I'm not trying to read anything into it, it just really puzzles me, because she hasn't expressed any feeling of missing me or thinking about me since the middle of December really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Just because you broke up, it doesnt mean that she doesnt care about you. You were together for a decent amount of time, and she is probably just becoming ready to forge a real friendship with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spikespiegel Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 But to me, caring is something different. We shared a lot of special moments during that song, more than just friendly moments, so I don't see why she would have chosen to contact me about it... And yes, although our time together wasn't long by a lot of people's standards, it was the longest relationship either of us had ever been in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvaGina Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 how is caring different? she misses you, she acknoweldged that she was out of line by sending you that message about the song, but she probably wishes you could be close again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 people sometimes are inconsistent. But I'd spare yourself going crazy and just write it off as a random moment. If it 'means' anything, you'll find out further down the road- but for now, just keep moving forward as though it doesn't mean anything, that she's involved with someone else now, and move on with your life as though their relationship is going to work out and you need to look elsewhere for romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spikespiegel Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 b2761, I agree, and that's what I've been trying to do. The whole thing just threw me off, seeing her say something like that. It's been a while since she expressed anything like that to me. But no, I'm not going to get hung up on it, I'm going to continue on, like you said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tropicalx3 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 have you ever heard of a rebound guy? honestly this could go either way. she spent over a year of her life in a relationship with you.. she might not want to lose that person as a friend. but then again, as a girl, i can't help but think that she still cares about you. who broke up with who? and was it one of those stupid breakups? i had an ex break up with me over a misunderstanding.. he thought i wanted to break up with him. idiot. then he went out with my best friend. and when they broke up, hooked up with my other best friend. so idk how true that is haha. then again i was 15 at the time so it could have just been gay hs drama. i've been in a relationship now for two years and honestly, at first he was my rebound guy. but once i spent more and more time with him i realized that he was perfect for me. and he got me over my ex. but if you broke up over something silly, she may not be over it yet. even if she was the one who initiated the break up. i think that you should ask her to hang out. make sure its alone. see if she still flirts with you. and maybe she texted you, in hopes that you would say something back. and when you didn't, she apologized. obviously you know your ex better so you should be able to judge her actions better then i can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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