It has been a year since my dads Death

[lightn]

Well it has been a year since my dads death which was January 20, 2006. Since my post back in March of 2006 under my dad passed away.

 

Well as of today, I feel right now everything caving in, and feeling more aggravated at work and feel like should I have said that or not.

 

I have a good job, making money but I work long hours and probably should not do it but I work to keep busy. I found out that my company does not have bereavement, which I think it is wrong but took away 8 hours of vacation away from me which is wrong. I was pissed.

 

Then another coworker burned me after I talk to him about something and this friend emailed on what he emailed to my friend as a blind copy.

 

It seems to me everything I do, I am getting aggravated easily, and or making me upset and just want to cry but so far I have not. No, I have not cried yet either.

 

I keep to myself but then people do not understand why I am so quiet but I do my work.

 

Maybe with my dad death, I am probably feeling it more now then last year when he passed away.

 

I know this when I am getting upset now my migraines are coming back, in which were calm but now lately making an attempt to come back.

 

Has anyone felt like this where everything feesl going wrong it does or feels like everything is against you.

 

Any advice or suggestion will be helpful and take it under advisement.

 

 

 

Tom

[Hope75]

Hi Tom,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's never easy to lose a loved one, especially a parent.

 

I'm not surprised that you've been a little on edge lately, anniversaries of a death, particularly the first one, are very difficult and can resurface alot of buried emotion that you might not have been ready to deal with at the time your dad passed away.

 

It's not great that your company doesn't offer bereavement- but take a personal or sick day or two if you need it- there is nothing wrong with having a little time to yourself to grieve. Does your dad have a plot somewhere? Maybe going to visit his grave and bringing some flowers would make you feel better.

 

Do you have anyone that you are close to that you could talk to about how you are feeling? Now is a good time to lean on family and friends too.

 

Hang in there.

[tropicalx3]

my dad died when i was 11. it'll be 7 years in april. i still think about it, especially when i think about getting married and not having him walk me down the isle. time helps you move on though.

 

the first few years are the hardest.

 

and hope75 .. i couldn't have said it better myself.

[Jetta]

Tom,

My entire life has fallen apart since my dad died. I can relate to your story. I was very close to him and I thought I'd be okay but I wasn't. It'll be 2 years in April and well I've lost more than my dad since his death really because I wasn't handling the loss well. Join a grief support group, I was told hospitals have them, I didn't go but wish I would have. Maybe it would have helped me cope.

[isisastaria]

I have to say that we all have some strange expectations for people in grief. People who have never really lost someone close to them don't really know what the HECK they are talking about!!!! So please try to let that slide off your back and only listen to those who really really know (like on this site)

 

My dad died when I was 15.

Through my research, I've found that :

a) Grief lasts your entire life...not weeks, not days, not years

 

b) Grief and loss is like a toothache. At first it hurts like hell, but then you learn to live with it and become a little more accustomed to it.

 

c) Everyone on the planet grieves differently and in their own unique way.

 

d) It is very possible your loved one can see and hear you everyday. They are not that far away. I can feel my father in the same room with me on different occasions in my life. I KNOW he is there watching and smiling.

[isisastaria]

This is embarrassing, but sometimes when someone does me wrong, I have this fantasy that my dad can see what they did and he knows it hurt me. So he follows them and gets back at them!!! LOL! Is that weird or what??

[grumbly_bum]

My dad passed away just on four years from now, and I know I still get teary eyed when I think of some things...

 

And I think that it's possible that you are getting aggrevated at work due to your emotions about your father. Everyone has a different way of expressing it, and it can be hard for others to not understand if you don't talk to them about it...

 

I reckon it sounds like maybe you need a short holiday or something, just to get away from some friends and do something that you'd really enjoy. Just remember, try not to be upset because I'm sure it's the last thing your dad would want.

[blizzardblueeyes]

Tom,

 

My thoughts are with you.

 

I lost my fiancee on 9-11. I put these walls up and did not let anyone get close to me for years.

 

See if your company has a counselor, someone who is trained in this. I finally went after 3 years, my stubborn Irish personality, fought it so much.

 

Now I can tell you there are happy days but yes there will always be sad days.

 

Good luck to you and my condolances to you.

 

No one can ever take away your memories and I am sure your Dad is watching over you.

[ten]

It's okay to cry, I'll cry with you man.

When my dad died last September I had to hold back tears to stay strong for my mom and sister. It ate me up inside, so many pent up emotions. I am now just letting it out slowly. Somedays i'll be at my desk doing homework and then i'll just put my head down and cry.

 

I just lost my girlfriend because of the same thing you're going through! Pain, the anger, the confusion.. all these emotions. I let them get to me and now the wonderful girl that helped me through this tough time is gone even though i love her till the end. don't let it get to you. it's god damn hard to smile in the rain but let me be the example and don't let it ruin your life

 

if you ever need to talk just pm me.