what is love

[kamurj]

when should i give upon a person that i care about whom is a junkie, a person that i gave many chances to straighten up because he said thats what he wanted to do(straighten up)but has not, all though pretending to be since we have gotten back

together which was two years ago. the reason we broke up before was because of his drug problems and all that went with it (lieing , stealing , cheating). We stayed broke up for two years and he came to me begging and pleading and said he was going to change so i took him back, we have a baby now which is why ive even stayed with him this long . since we have been together he has continually used drugs and several times has stolen large amounts of money from me both before the baby was born and since he has been born. i stayed with him because he uses our child by telling me that he will take him from me and a couple of times he told me that he would take him and no one would ever see him again (the baby.)finally a couple of weeks ago i had to break up with him because i told him the last time money was missing that i would have no other choice but to and so he went through about a thousand dollars in a week(his money) while at the same time writing checks on me that i had no idea he was writing, he would also pretend on weekends especially on sundays that he was going to go help a friend do some work buti dont really believe that was true cause i cant believe a word that he says i mean not a word.so my problem is that i finally got the strength to break up with him but he acted like he did not want that to happen. but since it has happened he won't even try to even talk to me unless we see each other when im picking up my son at his grand ma's.and then its not really anything important that he has to say. and when ever i start to leave he says i love you like nothing ever happened ? now he does not say it, that was for the first couple of days and since we have broke up he has spent quite a few evening and nights at his friends' houses that i know have the same problem he does,but yet he says he is trying to change.I guess what i really want to know is how can he say he loves me when he knew what would happen if he kept on ? some friends and family are trying to tell me that the things he done,did and still doesnt have anything to do with the love for me, that he just has problems and that it is the drugs, but i beg to differ. cause when we got back together i told him more than once that the very first time i even caught wind that he was doing anything wrong (stealing , druggin, lieing cheating) that i would have to break up with him no matter what excuse he used. This time the excuse was i just could not stop. i gave him a chance just last week to talk to me about it and he refused , he said that he just did not know why he did it, then waited a couple of minutes and said he had to go. a couple of days later the baby and i took him a birthday card and he was not home so i went to where i thought he was and his car was parked there, his friends saw me and im pretty sure it is was him in the window pulling back the curtain to look outside and when i looked up he had gotten out of the window so i left the card in his car. 2 days later he called to tell me he was going to come see the baby the next day and gave excuses why he had not been to see him and why he could not see him that day and remarked on how bad he felt the day we took the card to him cause he wasnt there . he said he had left his car there and went up the road with a friend and when he came back he found the card in his car and that it made him feel awful cause he had missed seeing us but yet i know he was there. what is he trying to do ? i kinda got off track there. everybody is trying to say it is the drugs but i have came to the conclusion that drugs yeah that is one of his problems, but he knows the consequences and he has kept on, so i have know other choice with all the evidence but to believe he didn't and don't love me and that drugs is just one problem of his and that he is just rotten to the core whether he had this problem or not. i used to believe that if the drug problem was resolved that everything else would also stop but i do not really think so. any way i just wanted to see what someone else that didnt know me or him made of this saga.

 

[Majere1972]

One word. Irresponsibility. I wish I had some good news to tell you, but it seems to me that he has no real mind for what is good in his life. I am 30 years old, and though my situation may not be the same, I have had a similar unrespectable event that had made me not believe in the word "love" From my experience, as far as love goes, the words I love you, mean nothing to me. When my girlfriend looks at me and smiles, and holds onto me and hugs me and lays her head on my chest is my sign of love. That is how I express it, and how it makes me feel is how I understand it. I personally don't trust in the words because it is just vocabulary that someone put into use. I just don't know how to say what I want to tell you, because I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But here goes...

He obviously doesn't understand what being in a relationship means to either you, or the young one that will grow up to possibly despise him for what he has done to you. That may not happen, but it is possible. The important part to remember is the fact that he has lied to you, has stolen money from you, and God knows what else. But what he doesn't realize, is that he is hurting the child too. If that doesn't give anyone the idea that they don't care, than I don't know what will. And if this man can't care, he won't ever. People do change, but when drugs and alcohol are involved, it is unlikely. My heart goes out to you and your child, and I hope that either you find someone good for you and your family, or he comes to his senses sometime soon to see what he really has!