The bloom is fading...

[EvaGina]

Okay, so I love my boyfriend and trust him, but the "honeymoon phase" is starting to fade and I dont want to start freaking out.

 

My bf is a bartender, he told me not to come see him after work tonight as he starts early in the morning tomorrow and needs his rest (which is fair enough, we wouldnt get to sleep until about 3 or so probably) but then he finished early and ended up getting drunk with his workmates...

 

I KNOW that its fine and sometimes events crop up when you dont expect them, and that by the time he realised it was probably going to be a bit of a big night, it would have been too late for me to go all the way out to where he is anyway.

 

Im just feeling a little delicate as I moved to a new city to be with him (it wasnt the only reason for the move, but he is one of the only people I know here) and last week he would have braved working tired on saturday just so he could spend friday night with me.

 

I suppose I am upset that I wasnt his main priority, I know its stupid and that eventually that insane honeymoon thing fades a bit, but its still scary.

I even went out with two mates of mine to a bar and things tonight, but my bf is the main thing on my mind, its a bit upsetting that Im not the main thing on his...

 

Oh well, I suppose things will change when I start my job on monday and I have more to occupy my mind.

 

GAH, he just texted me, its 2.30am and hes so drunk he's falling over

[Batya33]

I don't think this is about the honeymoon phase as much as you expecting him to be the center of your life - which isn't fair to either of you. It's not about you caring about him but about you being needy as to "how much" he wants to see you and "how important" you are to him - that you moved to be with him is also not his responsibility unless he promised to get engaged when you moved and then that might make things a little different. Also, how often is he drunk? Are you comfortable with the amount he drinks? It is your obligation to have a fulfilling life apart from your life with him - even if you were married. Give him twice the space he seems to be asking for and let him come to you, and miss you and want to see you.

 

And yes, I suppose the 'honeymoon phase" fades where you are not together 24/7 - this is healthy - but accept that you chose someone with a job that involves working late hours and erratic hours.

[EvaGina]

Yep, your probably right

I do want my own friends, and I did go out with mates tonight, but I dont know many people here.

 

I dont know what to think.

He says he wants me to find a flat in his area, which is far away from town, so he can see me all the time.

 

The late and erratic hours are fine by me, I have worked hospo for the past seven years, I am very used to it. I just get the feeling he didnt want to see me tonight, and instead of telling me he used work as an excuse.