Communication issues

[run_little_rabbit]

Wasn't sure which forum would be best for this, but here it is.

 

Face to face, everything is fine. But our face to face time is minimal, of course. We're only 2 hours apart but also have crammed schedules this quarter. He is usually on the computer during phone conversations. I don't talk when I hear him typing -- it'd be a waste of breath. Nearly everything I say has to be repeated. A lot of times he doesn't even respond to what I say, and if he does it's at most 3 words. If he's walking back from class or cooking something, we can carry on great conversations. He just can't be anywhere near any electronic device.

 

We also talk online a few times a day. He usually takes a long time to respond and again, often uses single words at a time. Maybe a short sentence if I'm lucky! Also, he'll tell me he's going to bed, then stay on for a while. Sometimes 20 minutes, sometimes over an hour. I just can't help but get the feeling that he doesn't want to talk to me or care about what I have to say. I told him how I feel and he says I'm way off, he just has trouble paying attention.

 

Maybe I just got too used to being able to see him every day over break and am having trouble with the transition.

 

Suggestions are more than welcome!

[musicguy]

Tell him that it bothers you and that it's rude to you when he's on the computer that he's not paying attention to you than to what he's doing.

[dude123]

Im actually going throught the same thing myself I don't know what to do about it. I am trying to kind of play it off but the more that we don't talk the more I think about her its like if we don't talk it drives me crazy its something about her lol. I just hope that both of our situations work out for the better of the two of us.

[rikka]

Tell him that it bothers you and that it's rude to you when he's on the computer that he's not paying attention to you than to what he's doing.

 

That's my suggestion as well. He may not see what he is doing as rude. Just politely let him know that you would appreciate it more if he would focus more on your conversations when the two of you are talking - at least on the phone, I am a notorious multitasker when i am IMing.

[Sprink]

This seems to be such a common occurrence with LDR.

 

I'm on the same boat. My bf and I are both working full-time, our time zones are off by 3 hours, so he usually goes to bed first.

 

He's busy at work all day so he can't chat much, but I have more freedom at work and would always wish he is there to talk to. Of course I can't help that, work is work.

 

He usually calls me while he's driving home from work, have some small talk, but I don't like it too much because I would have to talk out loud in the office with many people around, or walk a long walk outside.

 

After work we are usually both online. Chatting with him is sometimes like talking to a wall, or a bot. Yeah like in your case with those short responses.

 

Drives me crazy! But I know guys want their alone time or whatever, and he loves to surf the web. So I don't feel like I should be disrupting that if he wants his own peace. Sometimes we have more lively conversation, but somehow I want more. I know I shouldn't be too clingy though, and I do have my own life.... But I mean, we are on opposite sides of the country, it wouldn't be so hard to get some remote attention would it?

 

Gah. Sorry, I don't have a solution for you either.