Cultivating a positive, healthy attitude

[easyguy]

As a Buddhist, that is something that I am always working on; that state of being content with everything no matter the circumstance, accepting everything as it is and not blowing it out of proportion. And if I cannot remain happy during unfortunate circumstances, I deal with it maturely and respectfully, especially in times of anger.

 

Part of developing the ability to have a positive attitude about living and about embracing everything that comes its way is to be optimistic. It goes back to the glass being half empty of half full. One sees it half empty, and the other sees it half full. One focuses on the negative while the other focuses on the postive; what one doesn't have with what one does have. You are never going to get everything that you want. That is simple reality. But that does not mean that you are worthless or that you are not deserving of anything. Your ego may think that, but there is nothing that says that you cannot be happy with what you have at this present moment. Optimisism will also help you achieve your goals, because you see what you want and are not afraid to go after it.

 

Another aspect of having a healthy, positive attitude is being patient -- understanding that everything you encounter and everything that happens in everyday life is part of a very long process. It is sometimes very easy to make the smallest things seem like the biggest problems in our lives, but in many cases, it is often our own doing that leads to us thinking that it is an overwhelmingly important occurrence. Not saying that nothing you do has no substance to it, but it is natural to not even think about our actions and words when problems come up (either expected or by happenstance).

 

Going after what you want personally and professionally -- regardless of what others think about you -- will help to cultivate positive thoughts about yourself. But what you must try to find is a way to avoid unhealthy forms of contentment, i.e. doing drugs, playing videogames 24/7, etc. that would otherwise cause you to feel desperate if you are deprived of them/it. One of the ways I am trying to be content with my life is not chasing after materialistic forms of happiness, but instead, working on my mental strategy so that even if I don't have "it" I will still be happy with what I have.

 

You can still have a positive, healthy attitude in unfortunate occurrences. It is all in how you deal with the problem. Yelling at someone only adds pressure and tension, while taking a step back and dealing with the issue in a mature way is a much more healthy or even virtuous way of dealing with the issue at hand.

 

Hope this is to any benefit for you fellow ENAers.

[Scout]

Easyguy, thank you so much for posting this wonderful thread.

 

As all of us begin a new year, it's a great time to promise ourselves a fresh new outlook. I don't know why, but it really is true that thinking more positively changes things for the better. We kind of get back from the Universe what we put into it. And remember, the fastest way to change a situation is to change your perspective on it.

 

there is nothing that says that you cannot be happy with what you have at this present moment

 

Also so true. And cultivating a habit of being aware every day of what you do have is probably the essential first step to actually creating a more positive outlook.

 

I just really liked this thread a lot.

[shes2smart]

I've long maintained that events just are. It is our interpretation and attitude that make them "good" or "bad"....and we can choose how to interpret events and what sort of attitude we'll have toward events.

 

What we choose makes all the difference in the world.

 

Nice post, easyguy.

[SuperDave71]

I agree Scout!!!

 

 

Excellent thread!!!!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Orlander]

All I can say is "Mu"

 

 

Orlander

[renaissancewoman101]

So, what would be considered healthy forms of contentment?

 

Everything can be done to excess if allowed to.

[Dako]

Good post.

 

I consider myself a practitioner of a calm and reflective life, but when storms hit, the contrast is huge. I can be at peace when I have a job, or the conflicts are external, but depression and loss can test anyone's mettle.

 

Time for me to do some TM and peruse the Tao.

Thanks for the timely reminder.

[BellaDonna]

I really liked your post, easyguy.

 

I think so much of our lives can be wasted if we worry about things that we CAN'T control.

 

I am guilty of that a lot. ^

 

I think it's best to have an optimistic outlook and focus on the things that you CAN control. It's the only way to feel peace.

[renaissancewoman101]

That's true, when we constantly worry about things we CAN'T control is when our blood pressure goes up, we get anxiety attacks, and all that.

[easyguy]

So, what would be considered healthy forms of contentment?...

 

A lot can be answered by that question, depending who you ask.

 

"Unhealthy", in my opinion, is any habit or practice that can have negative consequences in the long-term, but which seem healthy when in the moment.

 

I view "healthy" as having the ability to control your thoughts and actions while not depending on any thing or person to reach it. You are an individual in your own right and would be happy if every object around you was taken away.

 

It is human nature to think more about what other people think of you instead of what you think of yourself minus what others think. This is when confidence and self-esteem get a boost... when you do not let the people around you dictate your mental abilities.

[dogheadma]

I don't think being able to control our lives is the key to being happy but rather it's the ability to become flexible towards whatever type of circumstances present themselves to us; be they pleasant or not.

 

A storm is exactly that, they will come and go, as will the good times.

 

The key is to learn to embrace both.

[renaissancewoman101]

I think letting the innate need to control our lives is what prevents us from being happy. Sometimes we feel that we HAVE to be in control of what goes on and what happens. Then when things go wrong, we give up or else throw our hands in the air.

[easyguy]

I don't think being able to control our lives is the key to being happy but rather it's the ability to become flexible towards whatever type of circumstances present themselves to us; be they pleasant or not.

 

A storm is exactly that, they will come and go, as will the good times.

 

The key is to learn to embrace both.

 

Elasticity is control. Having control over yourself when unfortunate events or occurrences happen is the same thing as being able to embrace everything that comes your way, good or not. It happens, you accept it, and deal with it accordingly. If you had no control over yourself, you would lack any foundation to work from if something bad happened.

[dogheadma]

Elasticity is control. Having control over yourself when unfortunate events or occurrences happen is the same thing as being able to embrace everything that comes your way, good or not. It happens, you accept it, and deal with it accordingly. If you had no control over yourself, you would lack any foundation to work from if something bad happened.

 

You misunderstand what I'm saying. Thinking that we can control our lives is the key to unhappiness.

 

Accepting the fact that we have no control over external events and coming to terms with the compassion that we have for ourselves is the key to true contentment.

[blue7]

easyguy...Thank you for sharing. Great post.

[easyguy]

You misunderstand what I'm saying. Thinking that we can control our lives is the key to unhappiness.

 

Accepting the fact that we have no control over external events and coming to terms with the compassion that we have for ourselves is the key to true contentment.

 

Yes, I agree. Reality is reality.

[easyguy]

I'll also add, as a general comment, the first step in I guess you could say being content and positive with life is not just accepting what comes your way and what makes you feel this or that, but also becoming observant and aware of your thoughts when certain things happen. If you can identify, you will begin to see what is happening.

[Fisch]

I can greatly understand that sentiment. In life there are certainly things that you are not content with and you think that you cannot change them. But the first step to changing them is believing that you can do so, and beleiving or "knowing" that can increase happiness on its own.

[gfein347]

I just wanted to say that I really liked what everyone has said so far. I think quite a few of the problems I have in my life can be traced back to a pessimistic way of thinking.

[poloplayer]

Hi,

 

This is a very good thread.

 

I don't think being able to control our lives is the key to being happy

 

I definitely agree with this. For example, what happens when things don't go your way, or as how you planned?

 

...rather it's the ability to become flexible towards whatever type of circumstances present themselves to us; be they pleasant or not.

 

When I was 16 I was really upset about something. My uncle noticed it in my face, and we talked about it. I'm not sure who came up with this quote, but he told me:

 

"10% of life is what happens to you. 90% of life is how you react to it."

 

Elasticity is control.

 

I didn't quite understand the depth of that quote at 16, but I've come to learn the power and truth behind it. Be flexible and cultivate a healthy attitude towards life. You will have plenty of bad times. Learn the skills to deal with life on life's terms.

[itsallgrand]

Thanks.

 

This thread is making my day a little bit easier. Very much appreciated.

[shellshocked]

Great post easyguy!

[Caterina]

You seem to hit a little bit on it, but we have to keep in mind that our mentality should have a fine balance. Meaning, optimism is also a good thing that also has the potential to have negative effects if done in excess. There is nothing wrong with a positive mindset...I prefer to say that Hope is a very wonderful thing to have. However, when the situation is bleak, it isn't good to try to convince/brainwash ourselves about it as though it isn't what it is. Sadness and discontentment are healthy in their own ways because they propell us to achieve and to improve if taken correctly. Mindset should be determined, and yes, positivism is a great thing to help us stay healthy as long as we don't look at everything through superficially positive eyes. A lot of times, very optimistic people can also be grating because they are very naive about the cruelties of dealing with the real world.

 

Although, needless worrying is also a very dangerous thing. I definetly agree that not beating ourselves up over what we cannot control in order to achieve inner peace is a good thing.

[BlueWolf]

I can totally agree with the OP.

Optimism is huge. No matter what happens, being optimistic and not letting emotions control you is HUGE.

 

I have experienced the power of optimism just recently (again). If you truly believe things are going to turn out okay, they will almost always.

[shes2smart]

Positive thinking with no positive action is as bad as negative thinking.

 

As with all things, at some point, you have to get off your butt and do something to move yourself along.