Please help, worst spot ive been in ever!

[BigSyke]

thank you for your replies, and dont worry about saying horrible things, i need to hear them right now. typing on here is amazing for getting things out of my system, i feel better every time i read something replied.

 

Im just shocked how somebody can move on that quickly, the texts she sent me from a few days ago are nothing but "i love you" and how much im the one for her and she cant wait to spend the rest of her life with me! In one day, somebody can completely move on and forget about that person. The roller coaster continues, and its hurting deeper now. I cant reason with myself, It feels like all this never happened, and then BAM! it hits me harder than a school bus, she had sex with a random guy, more than once in 1 night!!!!!

 

She has a very high sexual drive, so i know this ride will not be fun one bit! She was my leader, and now im just wandering a desert hopeless, knowing i wont reach a near city for a long time, and I have a very short ammount of time to get there, so im panicking, HARD! Its kinda like if your dying, and you dont get home in 10 of minutes, you miss a phone call that will save your life, and your 30 minutes away, this is the panick im going through, i cannot waste time or all is lost, and there is NOTHING i can do.

 

I keep having dreams about me in an old city, trying to chase her, but other guys keep blocking me off like bouncers at a club, and then when i finally get in there, shes gone, and its off to the next building, and when i finally find her, she cant hear me, shes def, and enters a room to have sex wtih a guy, and the door closes, and i sit, wait and wonder. These dreams KILL me.

 

I write all this stuff too, so when its all over with, i look back.

[EddieRentz]

Big - You have far worse things to worry about than her wanting to get back together or her being perfect for you.

 

She is on a rampage of self destruction here. I am no psychiatrist, but this sounds like she has a serious issue (perhaps Borderline personality disorder or she is Bi-Polar).

Sex in front of a crowd... its really bad, but maybe forgivable. Drinking and having unprotected sex while pregnant with your child..........NOT FORGIVEABLE. Not anytime soon.

 

The abortion... I am really sorry man, I would contact an attorney, not sure what your state's laws have to say about father's rights depending on the stage of the pregnancy.

 

Try making a list of the horrible traits she is exhibiting now and focus on them when you cant get her off your mind.

 

DO NOT TALK TO HER!!!!!!!

 

More importantly, do not beat yourself up over this. She may have been hurt that you took a step back, but you did so for valid reasons. You were concerned about her drinking and partying while pregnant right? Well, instead of reflecting and calming that garbage down or continuing to do what she was doing she decided to turn the volume to 12 and try and destroy herself and your baby. That is ALL ON HER - NOT YOU!!!!!

 

It is not your fault Big... but the pain you endure becomes your fault if you keep picking up the phone... so start with just one day (or even better 1 week) of promising to yourself that you will not answer her calls.

 

Dont let her take you down with her.

[BigSyke]

yes your right, i almost wish i was lying about this, i WISH my mind was playing games and i was lying to get attention, iv never thought this would happen. She's staying wtih this guy now, after 2 days of knowing him. I guess all they do is have sex all day and night, according to random guy's phone calls to let me listen. Today is harder, its setting in more and all the good times are coming back to me HARD.

 

I was lucky i had the past 2 days off work, now its back to work, which will be the worst time i will go through, since she would always show up there to bring me food, and just hang out. I smoke ALOT now, i being at work i will nto be able to smoke. Im dreading this hardcore, and im dreading the future now. You guys are all 100% correct, and im sure every body knows this all along, its the paint that blinds the truth, and being so desperate you dont take anybodys advice but your own.

 

Im going to try NC, all i really wanted to know was, what was going on, if were still together, or if its done for good, i just needed closure from her. i dont think im gonna get it.

[keefy1972]

I hope you aren't still honestly considering to take this piece of crap in as your wife. I'm sorry but that is just awful. She doesn't have any kind of honor. That's just plain rotten.

 

I feel so bad for you buddy. I just couldn't fathom being put through that kind of situation. Unbelievable.

[BigSyke]

yea it truly is unbelievable, a true nightmare, like where the last person on this planet, turns against you. Im at work now, and whoa its hard! she deactivated her cell phone, so now its going put me into a crazy spin. I have not gone a day without seeing her for 1 year, not gone a few hours without talking to her....even when shes getting drunk at a party or bar, she still would at least answer and be mean, this time, nothing. This is how i know shes with this guy, this is for real. wow.

 

Honestly im so weak to think about moving on, which when i do, will happen very quickly because of the way she treated me, and things she has done. I cant wait for that. I still just want her closure, and for her to say "im with this guy now, im dating him"

 

Im thinking shes toying with me, keeping me on the back burner....she did this with her other ex, when we started out. He would call and call, and she wouldnt answer. And the sad part about it was, we had sex ALOT durring the start of the relationship, the same time he was calling non-stop. So i think im in his spot now, and it KILLS ME!

[BigSyke]

alright, here it goes, she finally picked up her phone, and I asked her what she did last night, she said "I hung out with this guy i met, and haha we had sex 8 times bla bla bla"

 

EFFING NC starts NOW! Im going to stab myself with a pen if I have to, It will begin, im not destroying the relationship im about the get into, for a prostitute.

[TornTattered]

Hey man.. what kind of woman would laugh about having sex with some random guy to you. You being the father of her child, and you being the guy she was going to marry. Forget her. If it were me, i would track her down and unleash some fury. Im glad you have the head enough to just move on. That is the smart thing to do. I know its going to be hard, but just be glad that this isnt the woman you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

[BigSyke]

haha yea, now its just straight abuse. I talked with my parents for a bit tonight, felt good. This new girl (thank god for her) starting talking more to me tonight. She seems too good to be true, No drinking, no sexy time, no partying, dunno bout that, so yea i might have to jump all over this one.

 

But i still cant seem to do that! all i can think about is my EX!!! Trust me, i will rise UP! I think its hard because all my friends are gone, and all i have is either my EX, or this new girl.

 

Ill see how this NC goes, she'll vanish, and ill repair-quickly

[EddieRentz]

Big - your best days are coming. Trust me, self respect will kick in big time soon and you'll get past from there.

 

Just be good to yourself everyday and you'll come out of this on top.

[sfindependent]

I know this pain all to well, brother.

 

Trust me, its going to be hard. 6-7months into it and i'm still thinking about it. i know how you might miss the sex too. Its incredible how people would miss the intense, unbridled passion of having sex with your love one, especially if you connect in bed. im sorry, am i helping?

 

what i mean to say is, its going to be alright. although i feel like crap, i noticed how different I have become from a hurt man who can't function at all, to a hurt man, who has a past that i'm struggling to leave behind.she left me, told me all this BS about her hanging out with this guy, all the while playing like she couldnt live without me, and now, all i have are lies and a broken heart.

 

you don't deserve this man, i'm sure you will cry, do stupid things and all that, we've all done that at one point, but when that moment comes, that one gesture from her that stands out from all the pain that she has given you, you will snap, and leave. walk away. till then, you have us to remind you its going to be ok.

[eleanorrigby1]

This story sounds almost too outrageous to be true.... My guess is that someone is fibbing about something... maybe your fiance?

 

as i read the 'updates' im cynical enough to believe exactly the same as you. this sounds like something Jerry Springer put together.

[eleanorrigby1]

also getting into another relationship with another apparently celebrity lookalike is not going to make it 'all better'.

 

I think the pair of you need counselling - separately. seriously.

[BigSyke]

as i read the 'updates' im cynical enough to believe exactly the same as you. this sounds like something Jerry Springer put together.

 

 

thats funny...and i dont mean to compare anybody. The only reason i would need professional help, is because im addicted to this pain, and think that I deserve a girl like this, 0 self worth. Ive always known she might pull some stunt like this, but it never really hits home, till it hits home. And thats good that you feel like that, it really helps destroy my situation, and the possibility of others feedback.

 

And i dont care if you believe me, but now days anything is possible when sex is "just" a "thing".

 

And yes, im the one at fault for still thinking about such a person, but the reality is, im understating most of the events. She WAS an exotic dancer, i made her quit a few weeks after we started dating, she kept giving "private" dances to a few guys at their homes. This is how the trouble began. She has this mentality that men are nothing, and she can just get another one within 5 seconds of me walking out the door. Ive witnessed this girl do some things, (in public) most girls would never do at gun point. But she hooked me with words of being so loyal, and hanging out with me 24/7, the sex...she worked at strip clubs around the world, so she knows how to manipulate. So these are the points im leaving out, i started dating an actual * * * * *.

 

However i tried to look past this, as she ended up being a normal girl for a while, better than any other girls i have dated. She is high class, rich, proper and has a very good family.

 

So keep thinking that im lying about this, which TOTALLY destroys the whole point of sharing my experiences with anybody. And another thing, yes im being a complete B*** for even talking on here, because she did tell me exactly what she was gonna do, which was have sex with as many guys until she gets over me, and thats what shes doing, and i never expected it to actually happen.

[eleanorrigby1]

Im not trying to kick you while you are down, it just seemed to outrageous I could hardly believe it was true. If it is then I feel for you.

 

Im sorry if i offended you.

[jazzykat]

Please move on from this freaky situation.

 

Why do you want to put yourself through all this?

 

Her actions are speaking louder than her words..

 

Her actions are screaming at you, that she doesn't love or respect you, she doesn't even like you..

 

Do you not want to be happy, and feel loved?

[BigSyke]

yea, heres an update, so ive been getting more involved with this other girl. Things are kinda old school with her, no kissing till about the 6th month, no sex until 1 year...whatever. But ive been hanging out with her alot, and shes been getting attached. 2 days ago, my ex somehow cracked into my phone records, adn saw that this was the only person i was calling. Well they ended up talking, she was telling the new girl, that we still have sex, all this BS.

 

Well it took me 2 days to get the new girl to talk to me again. Now its back to normal, after showing her my phone records and voicemails. Anyway i dont feel that much with this new girl, even tho shes almost too good to be true.

 

Anyway i havent contacted my ex at all, and 5 minutes ago she called. She wanted to talk, and meet up to exchange items. I said WHAT ITEMS> she said, i dunno, you might have some things over here. Anyway she said this would have never happened if I wouldnt have Taken a step back.

 

She then said her new fiancee was too fat to have good sex with, and the wedding is this summer!!!! HAHAHAHAHA i feel good now! shes just 100% gold DIGGIN!

 

Im starting to think about other things more, i dont cry anymore, and the ups and downs are less intense. I think this is because she hurt me so badly, that my anger is overtaking anything in my body. I have a slight hatered for women now, but im sure ill get over this.

 

Ive started thinking about the future, and how im gonna be rich and famous, because life only happens once. to be locked up in a mid-sized house with a prostitue as your wife, would be the largest waste of all, im probably gonna move soon to florida or something.

[BigSyke]

This No contact really does work after all, i wish i couldve listened to myself, or just threw away my phone.

 

And with the new girl too, NC BABY! works WONDERS! I guess its a self esteem type vibe you give off.

 

If you just straight up stop talking, it shows your not a weakling, more of a stronger person, and i think thats what "gets" the other party.

[BigSyke]

update:

 

saw the ex's boyfriend shes been seeing while we together. Hurt like hell. Definatly worse than i expected. I saw his myspace, hes really into drugs, alcohol and sex with alot of different women. Worse is that hes Very over weight, about 300lbs, while my ex is around 115lbs. He's also a "white" gangbanger.

 

Definatly not what i expected, and im really confused why such a beautiful girl would choose a guy like that, and have sex with him!!!! im so hurt again, i feel like i just took 10 steps back. I also feel so low because she left me for a guy like that!

[i2oadi2unnei2]

Buddy, try not to, scratch that... DO NOT go places where you've been with your ex if all possible, at least not for awhile while you're healing. Next, DO NOT go to any my space sites trying to "follow-up" with your ex, it's not helping you any. I know its inevitable to think about the ex, but remember, NC also means no "follow-ups" either, or you'll be ](*,) day in and day out!

 

You're doing very well with yourself and your time, just don't waste it on your ex right now. Focus on your goals, life and that new fling you got going on there!

 

Take care and best wishes...

[BigSyke]

true i am doing very well, however still in pain. If it wasnt for this new girl i would probably be in complete devistation, and who knows where i would be.

 

Im focusing on new things, and i have been talking to the EX now, and its almost better that way, because every conversiation we have shows how MESSED UP this person is. I said i need time away to get over this, she says im scary and needs to be smoked by her new boyfriend aka Thug B-RealHomie (thats his name!)

 

Blonde business women turned gangster, the new girl i have now is very sweet, non-scandolous, and is more mature even though she is about 5 years younger. She also has a career and goes to school full time.

 

Its still hard having all my buddies call me laughing at her new boyfriend. One of those couples you think that its the hot mom, and troubled son. But really its boyfriend and girlfriend. Just makes me feel kinda low that she would leave me for somebody like that.

 

 

 

OH AND HERES A CRAZY UPDATE!!!! Thug B-realhomie made her drop out of college so they could be together at his dads house all the time. She only had 3 months left till she finished her 4 year. HAHA!!! She didnt seem to happy about her decision, but her excuse was this and i QUOTE!

 

"i really love him, hes funny kinda, i dunno i just need to have sex alot of the time, and spending time driving 2 hours a day to school just wastes time, he said drop out and his music career will take off and he will support me......I believe he will be big some day"

 

I dont know if this was a joke, but she hasnt been going to school according from multiple sources!

[TornTattered]

You really shouldnt talk to her ever. First off, you are only hurting yourself. Second off, you are giving her the gratification of your misery. Thirdly, you wont heal if you keep picking at the wound.

[SuperDave71]

BigSyke,

 

 

PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE KIDDING!!??? PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE NOT CONCERNED WITH THIS GIRL...

 

 

He actions have spoken louder than ANY words...

 

 

Let her RUIN her life....NOT yours. When she has treated you like NOTHING....you LOSE nothing.

 

 

Who in their RIGHT MIND, would tell ANYONE they had sex 8 times with another man..and LAUGH ABOUT IT!!

 

 

ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND.....?!?!?! I WOULD SOOOO DISAPPEAR and NEVER LOOK BACK.

 

God does NOT create garbage...BUT people can become TRASHY!

 

 

Let this go... comPLETELY and NEVER EVER EVER LOOK BACK...

 

 

I believe in Karma...and what comes around WILL GO AROUND.

 

 

 

Love will find you ...YOU have LOVE YOU FIRST and let this NONSENSE GO

!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[BigSyke]

yea i guess i have been with enough girls who act scandolous. This is new to me, but i almost expected something on the lines of this, but never prepaired.

 

She made me feel like i couldnt get anybody even close to her, and that i never deserved her. I almost want to post her myspace page for everybody to gawk at. and for people to see the progress of the breakup through the comments