Your virgin gf/bf or fiancee cheating on you - being a virgin yourself

[Luke Skywalker]

Question for you, how would you know if the girl you were interested in was a virgin or not? For all you know, she could be lying to you.

 

Original IM chat in March when I first meet her from lavalife she disclosed she was. She appearently just started this online dating thing for kicks because her roommate meet her boyfriend that way as she disclosed on the first meeting (late March).

 

I disclosed interest to her and pursued her, while she had been evasive, or seeming to 'friendzone me'.

 

I meet her in July 1st, (second meeting), and noticed something was different about her. It was like she was drunk or something, and she was almost throwing herself on me. I excused myself and said I had to go to some anniversary with my folks, but I thought she was acting strange.

 

Meet her on August - she seemed more subdued, and like something was wrong this time, but she wouldn't tell me what, just told me not to take it personal, and that we were going to kiss on the next meeting or something.

 

IN September - read some guy had a conquest with her and dumped her, and she said all men were liars. After reading that - I was lying on my bed with my eyes staring at the ceiling and was zombie like for the next few weeks. Experience felt was worst than being cheated on, I felt emasculated - but now I've come back to my senses.

 

I'm more level headed thinking now, compared to November last year when I had a very disturbed mind - when I was actively looking to lose my virginity from a random stranger on the internet and possible use an escort to get even with her - but my dad explained, contracting STD's and doing moral damage to myself and my spiritual body - is not getting even with her - it's madness, and he was right, nothing happened.

[blindfold]

the question is not wheter he/she is/was a virgin or not! is that he/she cheated, and that's not love...

[Luke Skywalker]

the question is not wheter he/she is/was a virgin or not! is that he/she cheated, and that's not love...

 

yeah, again, nobody here likes being cheated on, or being someone's second choice because their first option didn't work out while you were being manipulated with ("I dont have time for x,y,z - while he/she is really keeping you on hold in case the first option doesn't work out).

 

I guess anyone here would have low toleration of either of the above scenerios, but it would be an escarbating factor to a male virgin person past a certain age.

[Luke Skywalker]

Negative motivation is a powerful thing. On November, negative motivation from this perceived 'betral' almost made me lose my own virginity with 'anyone'. This would have been a negative outcome.

 

I've decided to avoid Adult Onset Diebities (Type 2 diebities) which is getting common on adults, to stop eating sugar, or any substance that will be a factor towards this, except on certain breaks (i.e visiting relatives, February (slacker policy))

 

If I breach this code, then I'll send an email to that past girl.

 

So far, since I put that policy in place, I have succeeded in maintaining a healthy diet and have determined to make this work for me one way or another, and have maintained a perfect diet. So, this negative motivation can be very useful as I can now control any behaviour that I want by blackmailing myself.

[renaissancewoman101]

Blackmailing oneself is not a good way to learn good behaviors. It makes you judgemental of yourself and is very self-defeating.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Luke I really think you need to see a therapist!

 

Look at how you're arranging your dating life, you're basing communication on sugar intake. How is that logical? How is that going to help you grow and develop as a person?

 

Do you even have any risk factors for adult onset diabetes? Like...

• overweight
  
• over the age 45
  
• family members with diabetes (parent or sibling)
  
• ethnically Alaska Native, American Indian, African American, Hispanic/Latino, Asian American, or Pacific Islander
  
• had a baby weighing over 9 pounds (that I know you haven't done)
  
• have high blood pressure
  
• have high cholesterol
  
• don't exercise
  
• have glucose intolerance
  
• have insulin resistance
  
• have a history of cardiovascular disease

Are you really doing yourself any good with these games you play?

 

Granted no one likes being 2nd choice, but you weren't even up to bat yet.

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke I really think you need to see a therapist!

 

Look at how you're arranging your dating life, you're basing communication on sugar intake. How is that logical? How is that going to help you grow and develop as a person?

 

What does that have to do with dating life? This is an ex-whatever we are talking about and there is zero tolerance for a limited time for sugar intake.

 

Do you even have any risk factors for adult onset diabetes? Like...

• overweight
  
• over the age 45
  
• family members with diabetes (parent or sibling)
  
• ethnically Alaska Native, American Indian, African American, Hispanic/Latino, Asian American, or Pacific Islander
  
• had a baby weighing over 9 pounds (that I know you haven't done)
  
• have high blood pressure
  
• have high cholesterol
  
• don't exercise
  
• have glucose intolerance
  
• have insulin resistance
  
• have a history of cardiovascular disease

Are you really doing yourself any good with these games you play?

 

- Overweight - yes.

- family members with diabetes - yes (my Uncle, etc...)

- excercise is haphazard.

 

- Have not checked a doctor yet in over a year for a blood test. I understand diabetes is a slow process, and usually people dont know they have it other than the easy way (vigilance and balancing out their lifestyle) or the hard way (internal complication where the symptom is diagnoses as diabetes).

 

Granted no one likes being 2nd choice, but you weren't even up to bat yet.

 

Great, well at least I have learned to harness whatever this is for a good health policy. It's difficult to rationalize why there is so much negative emotions built up on this. There is no friendship, relationship, three dates, the last two dates she paid for the coffee and spent 45 minutes of time, everything else is just in my head- guess I must have a wild imagination then or something. Well, again, see, if it was a real relationship then I would have really gotten hurt. So, I just got 'Matrix version' hurt in this imaginary one.