chocolady Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I'm thinking of meeting off a common lifestyle dating site, not the usual link removed or such like. He's 5ft 6 though and dark, looks like he is kinda hairy. My husband was 5ft 10, blonde, practicaly hairless compared. I'm 5ft 2. I really, really like him, he makes me laugh, makes jokes, is quick witted, tells me to stop moaning when i whine which makes me laugh, wants my number, to meet up and have a date, he seems really is keen on me. I think he's just what I need. Somebody help me get over the fact that he is really short, please. I feel such a witch that it bothers me, but it does but i cant help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puff.tm.dragon Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 You're 5'2" and he's short? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepie Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Who cares if he's short? You're short too, so why should it matter? There are plenty of girls who date men who are shorter than them. You won't even have that to worry about. Height it the least of your concern at this point. Meet him and see if you have a connection first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvursmile Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Good things come in small packages! At least he's taller than you. If hes nice, makes you laugh, etc...give it a try! Youve got nothing to lose by meeting him & seeing what happens...who knows! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Carrot Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Whoa whoa, 5ft 6 is not exactly short. See, where I come from guys are my height or shorter. And I'm 5 ft 3. So cut the moaning missy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Dude, get off your high horse, no offense. I'm 6'0" and I HATE how tall guys get a free pass. They shouldn't. Short guys get overlooked and it's really sad. I don't feel I suffer from all the biases that you might imagine for being tall because well, lots of models are tall, but if a short guy was comfortable in my presense and bone to bone, we were the same (like femur to femur), I would have no hesitation about bedding a short dude. Not a problem. I've found that many lack the ego drawbacks that tall guys prance around with and hey, if you find that attractive, then maybe he's not your dude. But I am so tired of big ego's and really long for sensitive, funny, and humble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Holy Moly, Choco, I din't realize it was you!!! You have helped me on many posts. No, no, please don't take me the wrong way. I don't want to scold or chastize you for your preferences. You are entitled to them. But please continue to do what you are doing and question them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I've found that many lack the ego drawbacks that tall guys prance around with and hey, if you find that attractive, then maybe he's not your dude. But I am so tired of big ego's and really long for sensitive, funny, and humble. Hey, watch the generalizing! Tall guys are human too. I'm tall and have almost no self-esteem. And I don't prance very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hey, watch the generalizing! Tall guys are human too. And I don't prance very much. same here I do not prance, I strut If you have a hang up about his height then do not go out with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Carrot Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hey, watch the generalizing! Tall guys are human too. I'm tall and have almost no self-esteem. And I don't prance very much. Hey be nice! You're tall and yummy. I mean it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai714 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you can't get over the fact that he's shorter than your ex, then don't waste his time or yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joiseygrl Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I went through the same thing not too long ago. My ex-husband was over 6 feet tall and I thought "my type" was tall guys. (And we all see how well that worked out... hello... EX husband.) Then I met a great guy who's 5'6" and we really hit it off. Can I tell you... it has totally changed "my type". I'm not datingthe 5'6" guy any more... now I'm seing a guy who's 5'5". I'm only 5 feet no inces; so actually there a quite a few things that work out better when there's less of a height difference. And not just talking about slow dancing and hugging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hey, watch the generalizing! Tall guys are human too. I'm tall and have almost no self-esteem. And I don't prance very much. Sorry... but come on, if you counted all the passes you got vs. this one very rare hit for being tall, you wouldn't think twice about my comment. For those tall and unproud, own up to your free passes. Height is by and large (pardon the pun) a major one-up. Besides Dako, from what I've read, you've had NO PROBLEMS getting your share of the ladies! A short guy your age might have half the experience as you. No offense meant to you, but seriously, let me give the shorties a pat on the back and offer one tiny drawback to the big and blessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Okay. But I still don't prance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Love ya, Dako! And you know it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliGirl77 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Me being a whopping 5'7" - - umm.......make that 5'10" with HEELS on, can relate to this one.........it is VERY akward to tower over the guy......no matter if you connect or not. Actually, if you do connect with him on every other level, but can't deal with his shortness, it can be strange. I have had many requests to just NOT WEAR SHOES (yeah right!) or NO HEELS........but honestly, I will not change what I am or what I love...... But, it really FEELS akward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Height is the issue under discussion and as a general issue, it gets a general response. Nonetheless, I have known some short cocky guys who can be hell to deal with, not to date, but to accommodate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I have had many requests to just NOT WEAR SHOES (yeah right!) or NO HEELS........but honestly, I will not change what I am or what I love....... My ex and current flame LOVE it when I wear heels. I don't know why but they were about the same height and since I rarely put on the ritz, I think they enjoy the aspect of dressing up that has me getting MORE attention. I play/dumb down my height because it's comfortable to dress down, but when I dress up (figuratively and literally), they love it, likely because of reasons that have nothing to do with height. I can honestly say that my current boyfriend likes the fact that it makes me a little bit of a standout, more unique and thus, makes him more unique. Anyway, who knows what goes through our minds... when we dissect each other based on various characteristics that we find attractive or unattractive. Take it all as a whole, that's all I can say. When my current flame had an issue with my height initially (when we were naked no less, and I was just thinking how lucky he was to have me in his arms - I know, who's cocky now), he told me my height intimidated him. That freaked me out because my ex- LOVED tall women, especially me. Well, my current got over it and now, looks twice at the tall ladies. All I'm saying is keep an open mind. It's always natural to try to eliminate (elimiDATE) people based on the this-or-thats but really, best to let each relationship run the course and see how the interaction works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I think the fact that you're comparing him to your ex might be more problematic than the height. But when we're used to something, a change can be threatening. Meet up with him, see how the chemistry is. And if you still can't get over it, let him down gently. (And I think I get where you're coming from. I was laughing at my bass teacher for being short the other week, and he gave me a look and said "I'm 5' 10"..." My ex was 6' 6" and I'm the same height as you. It does skew your perspective.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey Pumpkin Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I don't know about the height thing - I mean, sure I notice tall, good looking men in the way that I daresay men notice tall, leggy women. They stand out. But I have never quite GOT the fuss that so many women make about height - it really annoys me to be honest. But then I'm short, so most men tower over me anyway, so have never really thought about it. Although having said that, there was one guy I liked who was 6 6, and that just felt really awkward in too many positions. I was conscious we looked a bit odd together, but he never gave it a second thought, and I suppose I got over myself! I did like the way he could reach down stuff from shelves for me though! But no, height is not an issue. That seems so silly to me, to rule someone out over bone length. Very odd thing to judge a potential love bunny on, that they are too short or too tall - what are we all, goldilocks???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolady Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you can't get over the fact that he's shorter than your ex, then don't waste his time or yours. First things first, maybe I should have said that I am a widow. Didn't really want to draw attention to it but it might have helped with the replies if I did. But saying that, I think you may have hit the nail on the head with that statement even though he isn't an ex but a late partner.After 18 years of being married and four years of being alone, and him being my first date since my husband died maybe it matters more than I care to admit that I won't be looking up into the eyes of a man but straight at them. On one hand I fear I will miss the protective feeling of a man when he holds you in his arms and hugs you etc and on the other.. Am I just being stupid, he makes me laugh and God knows I could do with laugh and some fun so maybe I should go and see what happens? I don't want to hurt anybody, you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dilly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hey Choco, I can tell you this much! My current flame has gigantic warm hands, is 6'3", and it's quite easy to find myself in a dream state with him. He opens doors for me (insists on it at times), but for the love of God, the man can not even pay his own bills half the time, is not understanding when it comes to many personal distresses that involve other people (he blames me constantly for not being understanding enough, being tempermental, etc), and really is much more of a friend than a protector. Just so you know, I used to say the same thing about feeling safe in his arms. My dad asked me three years ago when I should have split why I was with him and I told him that I liked the way it felt to be in his arms. My dad almost got sick about that because even though I wanted to be with him, it was the worst reason to stay. The man insists on openning doors to restaurants for me, but couldn't pay for his own dinner or open my car door to let me in/out. Sickening. All I'm saying is that this has tought me so much. When I was with my first-ever boyfriend, I had this dream that his hands were not big enough. This was when I was 22 or 23 (22). I broke up with him, not even remembering the size of his hands and made my way over to my future husband, whose hands were decent and normally sized for his height. Nonetheless, I was so stupid to think along those lines. I told you how my boyfriend was freaked when we were together at first. Well, he was coming out of a marriage with a woman who was 5'7" or 5'9" and I'm 6'0", and not a dainty 6'0". I have long slender arms, legs, and fingers, but I can haul lumber with the best of them. I am quite strong and very proud of that. You're probably right when you say taht you are used to a certain set of dimensions. FYI, my 5'6" girlfriend/coworker has a 6'6" husband and she was laughing this weekend in sharing that she couldn't even look up at him while dancing because her neck hurt so bad. She said their size differential is a major thorn in her side. Nonetheless, I caution you against putting stock in size because in my experience, it has led me astray. Just go into this with an open mind - that's all I can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai714 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Choco, First off, I want to apologize for not understanding your situation better. I don't mean to just say, "get over it." Thank you for clarifying your situation. I understand your fears and how you can miss your late husband. I understand that you want someone who can make you feel the way he did again and to fill the void that was left in your heart. If this 5'7 man can make you feel good through conversation or however, then spend time with him. Just because you spend some time with him doesn't mean that you'll hurt him. When seeing anyone over a period of time, we all develop emotions and feelings for that individual. Heartbreak will always be a risk but it's important to focus on one date at a time. If he makes you feel good, then you will probably want to spend time with him. Again, thanks for clarifying and sorry if I was insensitive on my last post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolady Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 Thanks to everyone for your replies.'Specially to Dilly, made me smile and gave me something to think about. chai, no need to apologise I'm still unsure of what I am going to do but that really did help... more than you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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