How long should I wait?

[tims82]

Hello everyone!

 

Here's my story... (it's kinda long)

 

I've had a little crush on this girl at my work for a few months now. I started out being friendly and trying to get a little more personable with her. It was hard to tell if she was into me, she's a little reserved, but I got the impression from her that she was waiting for me to ask her out. She would always say she had nothing to do and told me that things weren't going well with her boyfriend and that she finally broke up with him.

 

So I gave her a call and we went out for dinner and a movie. We seem to hit it off pretty well. We spent around five hours together and almost never ran out of things to say, I wouldn't say it was romantic, but it was very nice and comfortable with a lot of eye contact throughout. The possibility of becoming a little more intimate on later dates seemed possible. (At least for me).

 

So we made a plan to go see another movie the next day. However, she calls me the next day and says she can't make it, that some personal problems came up. She said she felt really bad, but I told her it was ok and not too worry.

 

The next day at work she tells me she may be losing one of her parents to cancer. I felt really bad and had brought her coffee which she liked. She said again that she felt really bad for bailing on me, but I assured her it was ok (this was no lie either. family comes first in my mind). I told her I hope she felt better and that I was sorry to hear it. We saw eachother a few times throughout the day, but she seemed a little more distant (obviously because of the bad news). Later that night she sent me a text thanking me for the coffee.

 

I didn't see her the next day because I was out working on a project, but I brought her flowers the next morning and left them on her desk before she came in with a little note saying that I hope they help cheer her up, if only a little. Later she came to me and thanked me for the flowers and that she really like them. We were both busy that day and didn't see each other, but I was able to say bye to her before I left.

 

Ok, NOW to my question...

 

How long should I wait before asking her out again? I don't want to rush anything or try to push her into something she doesn't want especially with that bad news on her mind. She said she had lots of work to do which would keep her mind off of it, but the weekend is coming up and I wonder if I should call her. I am worried about her, but I don't want to just not call her or not be around her at all, but at the same time I don't know if I should call and ask her how she's doing which would probably only remind her of the bad news.

 

I'm kind of lost, I don't mind taking it slow; but I wonder if caring too much could friendzone me. I want to give her space, but how much should I give? I feel ashamed like I'm only thinking of myself which is why I need some advice, please can anyone help?

[crazy300]

Hi,

 

I think right now atleast for a few days or so, she needs a good friend. Its not the time to analyse her actions, but to be there for her. The fact that she still keeps thanking you and telling you she feels bad in itself is really great of her.

 

I think you should call her and talk to her. Ask her if she would like to get out of the house and get her mind of it. Give her the option.

 

As for asking her out, give it some time. You could tell her you like her or have feelings for her in a week or so and assure her that you'll be there for her through this rough time.

 

But as for Making it official-and asking her out, id say that depends on her reaction/state of mind.

 

Good Luck!

[heloladies21]

Call her. No need to dwell on her sadness, she's looking for things to take her mind off of it because for sure she's thinking about it all day long. She would welcome a little get away time in her own mind to not think about it.

 

So get up in there because she's shown you only good signs so far and you don't want her to think you're not interested. And on a side note, you should also be thinking about what you want here. No need to feel guilty about it. Be cool with her, flirt, break her out of the funk she's in. You got her interested in you so you must have it in you to do this.

[EvaGina]

For the meantime, just be there for her as a friend...

If she is feeling vunerable (which is understandable with her bad news) then she may enter into a reletionship with you that she might not be ready for or do it for the wrong reasons which she may feel badly about later.

 

It sounds like she likes you, but I would advise just being her friend until she is more comfortable with her family life Also, she will then also remember you as the sweetest guy while she was going through hard times

[Siriana]

I would call her. Ask her if she wants to go to the movies, or to take a simple walk...