Just wanting some advice from others.

[SilverManic]

I'm 21 my hubby is 19. We got married in October. We always knew there was a possibility of kids and neither of us agree on abortion so it's compleatly off the cards. I broke the news to my mother and grandmother as they are the two closest to me in my family.

My husband was right there with me when I took the test and was really excited. Although I feel like It's a bit too soon and I still want to go to university I'm shocked since I didn't think I could have children as I never needed to use anything before and never got pregnant. I'm happy that I know for sure since my husband is the only person I've been with in a very long time and I'm glad my mum congratulated me and my nan said I was doing the right thing by not getting an abortion. But I can't help but feel a little bit scared.

I'm applying for my visa on Friday to move to the USA to live with my Husband and there might be a time when I have to be separated from him and I'm so scared.

Anyone got any advice for a first timer? Thanks,

~S.

[rocio]

Do you have any specific questions?

 

You can still go to university and accomplish any other goals you had in mind. You'll just have to pace yourself to be sure that your child's needs are never compromised.

 

It's very difficult to be away from your man when you're pregnant. I'm 27 weeks and have been alone through the pregnancy. I don't mind so much, since I am independent and like to take care of myself. But when you are pregnant, your hormones go crazy and you start to feel needy and clingy and you need alot of reassurance. Being apart from your husband may put a strain on your relationship.

 

Also, pregnancy is not a good time to be moving - especially moving to a new country! Is there any way your husband can stay in the UK instead for a couple of years? Whatever you guys decide, be sure to cut ALL unnecessary stress from your life (including major life changes, as much as possible).

 

If you haven't already, the first thing you will want to do is buy prenatal vitamins. You can get them at any drugstore. Make sure they have Folic Acid. It is absolutely essential that you start taking folic acid now. Also make an appointment with your doctor. Start thinking about your birth plan. If you want a midwife, you will likely have to get on a waiting list now (in Canada they are hard to get). Keep exercising, eat well, drink a ton of water, and get at least 8-9 hours of sleep per night.

 

I'm glad your family is supportive. How far along are you? You start counting from the first day of your last period. Normally it's good not to tell everyone about the prenancy until you are at least 3 months, to be sure everything is okay.

 

And Congratulations!!

[SilverManic]

That would be the 20th November so I'm about a month. I only told my mother and my Nan because they are the major influance and closest people to me. We will tell others at a later date probably about 4 months. We are going to have to move to America as there is no possible way we can support a child in the UK it's just too expensive here even to get a place. But since I've lived over there for a long amount of time it's something quite familliar to me and I do have family to help me there.

 

I'm going to the doctors tomorrow. As for univerisity I know I can still go and there are lots of child care options. I might go part time for the first year or two so that the baby and I at least have some time to bond.

 

I'm hoping to go to Japan next year to study Japanese but I will put it off probably until the baby is 2 years.

 

I know I have to start taking much more care of myself so I'm going to get a midwife. I only work part time and I know my boss will be really supportive.

Thanks for your advice.

[Beec]

First, congratulations. Second, I think it is very normal to have some fear at the thought of becoming a parent. Third, good luck.

[Dilly]

CONGRATULATIONS! Hazey gave you some EXCELLENT advice. Cut out any unnecessary stress, rearrange the priorities and think about your resources now. These include money, time, and childcare (family). Start budgeting each resource and thinking about a way to get through these first tough years.

 

You sound like you are in a very good situation currently with your husband and the fact that the news delighted him is terrific!!! You have no idea how many of us have issues with our partners during pregnancy and that yours is fully supportive is a wonderful blessing you should count everyday!

 

My advice also is to be warned that while your hormones may not be sending you through emotional waves, they may soon! Be prepared. Plan, plan, plan and be flixible if/when things don't go accordingly.

 

I agree that it is simply wonderful that your family is behind you 100%. This is another sign of virue! Very promising! Make the doctor's appt.! So nice to hear a profession of concern from someone so mature and fortunate, even at the age of 21! You will be a great mother!