revelation27 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 hello ill make it quick yesterday was my birthday i told my g/f on monday all i wanted for my birthday was to go out to eat with her then have sex....we have had sex in the past but its not that often......she said she was fine with that so last night we went out to eat but she turned me down on the sex it has really sort of got me down because i looked forward to it all day yesterday then got very disappointed....and i told her about it she said i should just be a man and accept it that she isnt in the mood......am i wrong for being this down about it? any thoughts on this is very appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 How old are the two of you? Two things strike me here: * I wonder why you want sex for your b-day, it's usually something that is either spontaneously initiated by one person and reciprocated by the other (possibility of turning down is ALWAYS there on the part of both genders!) * I wonder why you had sex in the past but didn't build up a sexlife from that point on. It's not very common to start having sex and then not have it anymore, unless one of the partners is not ready after all or stops feeling 'that' spark. Ilse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revelation27 Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 i am 35 she is 43....sex doesnt happen often with us because she doesnt really desire it much like i do....so thats why i asked for it for my bday because its been so long as she said she cant turn her hormones on and well i cant turn mine off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredMan Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 hello ill make it quick yesterday was my birthday i told my g/f on monday all i wanted for my birthday was to go out to eat with her then have sex....we have had sex in the past but its not that often......she said she was fine with that so last night we went out to eat but she turned me down on the sex it has really sort of got me down because i looked forward to it all day yesterday then got very disappointed....and i told her about it she said i should just be a man and accept it that she isnt in the mood......am i wrong for being this down about it? any thoughts on this is very appreciated No, not if she told you OK. You are reasonable to accept it. What I would do is wait until she wants it, then turn her down and tell her you are not in the mood. See how she reacts to this. I bet she doesn't react well. And if she complains, tell her to "be a woman and just take it!" And if she doesn't do sex much, use this same thing for something else she likes to do. Tease her with it and take it away. See how it works. If she does it to you but can't handle it herself, she probably isn't the one for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Do you always ask for sex like its on tap or attempt to make it part of the evening by suggestive touching and turning her on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDRFreak Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I've gotta say i agree. Seems like any time you expect sex or worse, ask for it, then it's my feeling that you just turn your partner off. If you really want sex then start from the simple things up. For me I can get my gf totally turned on with a really good make-out session. It's like... you gotta round the bases. If you shoot straight for home, you're likely to get fouled outta the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredMan Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I've gotta say i agree. Seems like any time you expect sex or worse, ask for it, then it's my feeling that you just turn your partner off. If you really want sex then start from the simple things up. For me I can get my gf totally turned on with a really good make-out session. It's like... you gotta round the bases. If you shoot straight for home, you're likely to get fouled outta the game. Shouldn't be like that though. Women have controlled when sex happens for so long (90 percent of the time or more guys have approached them or tried with them rather than vice versa) that they enjoy that power. At least a lot of them do. Which is why I suggested turning the tables on her. The fact that she said the "be a man" line at him proves to me she is on that trip. Best thing to do is take her power away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 She is an older woman so arousal can take longer. You can't just flip a switch as a woman gets older, the estrogen levels just aren't there. Estrogen will decrease as women approach menopause so their sexual desire will decrease. Start with caresses and kissing. Maybe some playfulness, but don't just announce or demand sex, finesse will take you a lot further than forcing the issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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