Shallow Hal

[caro33]

I can't say definitively whether this is guy is super shallow, but I trust your perspective here and say move on.

 

Of course we have our mental parameters of what we will and will not accept from a love interest. But I expect that if someone really cares about you those parameters are BROAD. Not, 'if you put on two kilos you're outta here' type stuff.

 

I actually think that the most telling things you have said are that he wouldn't date you if you were much heavier than you are, yet you dated someone at almost 300 lbs. That already smacks of a difference in key values to me, and one that is perhaps worthy of seeing as a dealbreaker.

 

If you are not as equally invested in physical assets as this guy that's all there is to it. It doesn't matter if you go to the gym more now and become fabulous fnlyfrei again, what happens in a year's time when work gets stressful, some weight comes on and this happens again? Do you always want to be worrying about keeping yourself to someone else's strict standards? I can't think of a better way to eat away at your own self-esteem.

 

I dated a guy a while ago who was much higher maintenance than me. He tanned a lot, went to the gym extremely frequently, obsessed about taking steroids to built his muscles, had full body waxes (and I mean everything) and had facials/manicures/pedicures. The full manscaping thing. With his constant comments about his looks, which moviestars he'd sleep with, how he needed a facial etc, I started to feel like the worst fat, hairy bushpig. And I was slim, blonde (and relatively unhairy), looked after myself - not high maintenance but always well presented. So it's always relative, you'll always be 'not quite good enough' to some people.

 

Maybe your guy is insecure about his height and it's come out in an obsession about developing everything else he has within his control to make up for that.