Good dating sites for...?

[Caldus]

Hi all,

 

I'm having a lot of trouble finding good dating sites out there for me. I really want to meet an intelligent and down-to-earth woman. It seems like (and I hate to make judgements of any kind) all of the profiles I come accross for women around my age are just never what I am looking for. Anyone know? Thanks!

[Scout]

I can't really give you any suggestions on dating sites where you'll meet a lot of intelligent and down to earth people. I imagine they're on there, if you are yourself.

 

But if you're having consistent difficulty, what about expanding your options for meeting people in real life? What are you doing in that area?

[Weeblie]

Maybe you could try eharmony? That questionaire is ridiculous. Anyone who can get through all that has to be pretty smart.

[Lilu]

Hiya!

Maybe you should try americansingles. It was successful for me

Let me know how it goes!

 

Good luck,

Lilu

 

P.S.

Nice picture.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I had really good luck with eharmony, but in the end I went out on my own.

 

If your finding your age preference not inline with your match preferences, then try looking outside that bracket.

[confused25]

I heard good things about eharmony cuz one of my friends met her current bf through the site. I thought about trying it myself and even filled out the questionaire. The only thing keeping me back from actually activating my account is the expensive membership fee.

 

LostInMyThoughts - do you mind sharing your experiences with eharmony? Did they really give you good matches??? I'm curious to hear . . .

[Scout]

I was curious about that, too, LostInMyThoughts. Because I've heard some negative things about eHarmony to be honest. I know they put you through the wringer with a questionnaire, supposedly...does all that effort actually pan out with likely matches? I mean, this is their main marketing claim. Wonder if it's backed up with results.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Since you all asked nicely, I'll share my experiences =)

 

I started on eHarmony a little less than a year ago. A friend said I should check it out. It's true that they put you through the paces with thier questionaire, but I think if you attempt to answer it honestly, it works.

I took some time to fill out the questions, to spread the pain over a few days.

 

I started to get matches that were all over the spectrum. I've only tried Yahoo! Personals and Craigslist, and eHarmony was far superior at sending me matches.

 

I would catagorize the matches that I moved forward with, as good. You can see their personality types, what they like to do, etc. eHarmony also has a guided communication system which I thought was cool. You didn't have to worry about writing your first "email" until after you have established some mutual interest.

 

I ended up talking to a few matches, and eventually made contact with one. We hit it off suprisingly well. We made plans to meet just for coffee, and it ended up lasting 5 hours! We met up a few more times, each time I had a great time. Unfortunately she was an Officer in the military and had just found out she was going to be stationed overseas, so it didn't work out.

 

Then I met another girl who was an okay match, we talked for a bit, met up for drinks and a snack, but it didn't work out.

 

I met two more girls and ended up having dates with them both in one weekend. Distance prevented me moving forward with one, although the date was a total hit, and the second one eventually became my "girlfriend." With her though, my feelings were torn (you can read a few of my other posts) and I ended up realizing I wanted to be with someone else.

 

Of the 4 people I chose to meet, I would say that all of them where high quality matches. For various reasons it didn't work out, but I was really satisified with the people I met through eHarmony.

 

It's not really geared towards dating; I think that eHarmony is better suited for someone who wants a more serious relationship.

 

eHarmony is probably a hit and miss for many, and I think the area where you live determines the number of matches that are available. Overall, if I were to do it again, I would, and I wouldn't hesitate to suggest eHarmony to other people.

 

I should add, meeting (in person and with the option of more dates) 4 potential partners in the span of less than a year is pretty darn good odds.

[heloladies21]

It's normal to be so judgemental right after getting hurt. It's a defense mechanism to prevent yourself from opening up again to the idea of dating someone else. I suffered this for almost 3 years during college! What a waste of time...

 

So do your best to realize that #1 you're not really gonna get a complete impression of someone over the net, #2 that you'll never find someone who fits exactly your criteria as soon as you meet em and #3 these feelings are just a phase that you should try and break out of because there are tons of mature intelligent girls your age and I promise you that you've scrolled through their profiles already.

[Cardinal]

OP,

 

Which sites have you tried so far? There is a lot of variety out there.

 

I'll share my current view of eharmony since we are on the subject. My view is more negative.

 

Positives

 

1) On paper they seem to do a good job at matching personality which is a tremendously important factor for me. But...

 

Negatives

 

1) In 3 months they 'only' sent me 50 matches. Compare that to link removed and you will see just how small that number really is.

2) More than 1/2 of the profiles did not include photographs. Another smaller portion chose to share photos at a later date

3) Several women managed to be honest and sneak in the fact that they didn't have a membership. They said that in their profile, there is no way I could contact them due to this. So why send me those matches in the first place?

4) Their communication process is superslow. I have yet to get past first answers with anyone. I believe they also require that you send must haves and can't stands. There aren't 10 must haves and can't stands for me!

5) There is an option to open up direct communication. I tried this with 8 of the matches I was sent. I am still waiting on a reply. Who here thinks that is because they aren't paying members haha.

6) They send me matches from Colorado now even though I am in Texas and have a specific dating prefernce wrt distance!

 

To me it seems like eharmony is trying to be a computerized 'matchmaking' service. I think I'd have more luck with a real life person helping me to match!

[ozsid]

I actually met my wife on ICQ! Just need to chat to lots of people, and be honest. You need to kiss a few frogs (or frogettes) but maybe you'll find someone. We chatted on ICQ for a couple of months, every night, before we met. We just clicked right away. Our online relationship just moved right on into a real life one. Because......we were both very honest and open whilst on line. So.... no surprises. Been married 5 years and very very happy.

[Josh30041]

are you looking for something serious or just dating?

 

link removed is working good for me now. get a few matches everyday and have sent out 10-12 emails now.

 

I am also on eharmony but no matches lately.

 

best ones are where you get matches.

[linseylou]

I tried eharmony about this time last year and because I got emailed a special "New Years" deal So for $50 I'm trying it again... (Yes I'm beginning to wonder why I'm doing it again)

 

Here are my thoughts… Take them for what they are worth….

 

I find it annoying to go though the 4 step communication process... Who really has time to do this? Especially since the site encourages you to communicate with several matches

 

I'm sorry to complain but here is why I'm not too impressed with the guys I’ve been matched with so far:

 

1. Poor Grammar (they can’t even capitalize their own name)

2. Poor Spelling

3. No picture or have selected to show their picture at a later stage

4. Picture of them with their ex and it says it in the caption under the picture.

5. In the third stage you have your match ask really personal questions such has “What is one thing your ex would say about you”… or questions that really stump you and make you think such as “If you could do something totally out of character and remain anonymous what would you do”

6. On the About Me profile they ask you the question: “What is the one thing that only your best friends know” -- How can you get an idea how a person is by this question???

 

Anyway....I'm in contact with one guy in a neighboring state though our own personal email account right now, but anyone else on eharmony hasn't impressed me much. I even have to wonder about him, because he seems to still be a big partier especially at his age.