california_love2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 ok, this is the third time this is happened and i'm really getting frustrated lol. My fiance and i were having sex and he finishes before me. He doesn't even give me the chance to have an orgasm anymore. We have never had this problem before so i dont know what the deal is, and the thing is, i try to get him to have sex again, he either is too tired or can't get it up again. I fully understand but dang, i'm just getting so frustrated that today i ended up getting mad at him lol. I feel stupid for doing so but i can't help my feelings. Ugh basically i just feel mad at him right now, any advice for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Layword Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Stop being so hawt in bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Tell him the facts. Ladies first! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Take it as a compliment!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Talk to him and tell him as the poster above me said, "Ladies First!" LOL that's kind of harsh of him to get off but not even bother trying anything to get you off. My bf and I usually try to get off at the same time during intercourse but if I am unable to get off he will make sure I am well pleased afterwards even if we don't have sex again he does his magic orally and gets me off. I'd be mad at him as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
california_love2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 yeah, thank goodness you all agree lol. He actually thought i DIDNT want to have an orgasm, how crazy is that? He said "oh i thought you didn't want to have one". goodness, if you said that to a guy, he'd think your'e crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 I always thought a 3:1 ratio is about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Maybe you should get him on the brink one time and just quit and then say "Oh thought you didn't want to have an orgasm." LOL Sorry if I sound mean but I believe what's fair is fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 LOL ye my bf takes like a minute to get off... but he tries hard to please me. why dont you suggest that he goes down on you before intercourse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Light Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Buy him (you) a Christmas Present... the book... "She Comes First" by HarperCollins He actually thought you didn't want to have an orgasm???? And the point of making love would be???? As a previous poster said bring him to the brink.. just ONE TIME... and back off. And how in the heck do you take that as a compiment??? or be less HOT in bed??? That I didn't understand. I've heard that advice before given to me. And I thought.... pppffffssssttt. yeah right!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
california_love2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 i definitely have thought of that, mythical suicide lol. As for oral, i dont care for it because its just a waste of time on my part. I dont really get anything from it, i dont know if its cause he doesn't know what he's doing or i just dont like it lol. It only takes me less than 5 min. to get off on top of him during sex, i dont see why he can't spare the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
california_love2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 Buy him (you) a Christmas Present... the book... link removed by HarperCollins He actually thought you didn't want to have an orgasm???? And the point of making love would be???? As a previous poster said bring him to the brink.. just ONE TIME... and back off. And how in the heck do you take that as a compiment??? or be less HOT in bed??? That I didn't understand. I've heard that advice before given to me. And I thought.... pppffffssssttt. yeah right!!! haha, i should buy that, good idea, thanks I would say thats a compliment maybe once or twice (on a very different occasion lol, say new lingere or whatever) but its just an insult to me when he doesn't even try to give me something in return. Giving me the old "i'm too tired" thing. Well, i'm anemic and have a few health problems, and he is healthy as can be so i expect more from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Maybe try getting yourself off during intercourse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
california_love2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 nah, if i want to masturbate i'll do it alone. I just want it back the way it was, thats the way i like it the most. I wish he acted like he cared sometimes though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowgirl Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Actually, I see this as a pretty major red flag. It's not that he comes first, but it's that he doesn't care afterward, even when you tell him it's a problem. Who can blame you! I've ended relationships because of that. If he's so dismissive of your needs, that's a problem. He'd hate it if you got him almost there and then quit. You shouldn't have to deal with that yourself. I think it's time you have a serious talk with him about this, it matters. If he remains dismissive, I would question my entire relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkle1 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Joking aside.... i think you need to maybe rekindle the 'sparkle' as he may of lost his 'will to want to impress' so to speak.... this isn't a sign of problems with you or the relationship - but maybe just a incy bitsy tiny bit of 'complacentcy' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joiseygrl Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 It's only the third time this has happened? Personally, I don't see a "pattern" at this point if it's only happened three times. If you said it's been happening for three months, I'd agree there's a problem. Maybe he's got some issues at work or with friends that are distracting him from the "task at hand". I wouldn't bring it up unless it continues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Light Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 ummmmm.... If I left a guy hanging... 3 times in a row... I think I'd hear about it. He gets his kicks... but can't recipricate cause he's got problems at work??? ehhhhhh..... Ohhhhh he'd have bigger problems than that.... and I certainly wouldn't buy the work excuse for 3 months... especially since he's having his fun. Its not like Little Willie isn't waking up, saluting... or blasting off. Poster said.. He has his fun and then he's DONE. THAT.... is a PROBLEM !!!! at least for me it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredMan Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Tell him the facts. Ladies first! Outdated rule lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hey, TiredOne, at my age I'll stick with it until I get complaints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Light Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hey, TiredOne, at my age I'll stick with it until I get complaints. Works for me every time. You wouldn't pop a sports car into 5th gear without warming it up first. Trust me... you get better performance from your car if take care of it properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredMan Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hey, TiredOne, at my age I'll stick with it until I get complaints. Whatever works for you lol. My personal view is it is not my responsibility to take care of the woman unless of course she is someone I really care about and not all sex is that way. I have been taking more of an "independent stand" against this for years. Thank god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitbit Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 give your poor guy a break! why don't you put in a little extra effort instead of blaming it all one him? give him head as foreplay and then have sex afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 give your poor guy a break! why don't you put in a little extra effort instead of blaming it all one him? give him head as foreplay and then have sex afterwards. Why would she give him head before having sex when he's getting off and not even bothering about her getting off? That's just helping him get off easier IMO Sorry, you dont give you dont receive in my books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredMan Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Why would she give him head before having sex when he's getting off and not even bothering about her getting off? That's just helping him get off easier IMO Sorry, you dont give you dont receive in my books. It isn't his responsibility either though. If a guy is too fast or too slow, that is how he is. Not he has much of a choice. There are things he can do to slow himself down but it's not gonna be like he is gonna go from 2 minutes to 20 minutes. At the same time, if the woman is too slow, shouldn't she do things to speed herself up to catch up with her guy? Rather than always the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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