Two questions for GIRLS

[Salucious]

1. Is it weird for a guy not to have female friends?

I have had a few female friends from where I worked previously, and of course bunches from high-school, but none that I hung out with. In college it seems that a lot of guys have half female and half guy friends. Personally I'd find it hard to have any female friends that I found attractive. when I think of girls I don't think of "best buds" I think of them as either potential romantic possibilities or casual friends. Most girls I see hanging with guys they are constantly all over them and affectionate towards them. Maybe I'm not the kind of guy girls like to be around. I feel like I'm missing out, that maybe being friends with more girls would improve my social life and have more confidence with girls. I would say I am fun to be around but not until you get to know me better. That leads to my other question.

 

2. What makes a guy have an attractive personality?

My good friends would probably tell you I'm a nice guy who can be very funny and fun to be around. Yet I've never had a girlfriend, good female friends, or a large social circle in general. I think these are the reasons I started blaming my height/looks for my current lack of love life. Because I believe I have the kind of personality girls could be attracted to (I'm maybe not the most outgoing guy, but at an average level), I'm not a creep and don't use women. I constantly hear women complaining about meeting only jerks and not nice guys. The only big differences I see between me and the guys who have female attention and large social circles is that I'm much shorter and don't fit in to a group of people my age. I know I've been over this before, and I'm comfortable with myself now more than ever, but that won't matter if girls genuinely do dismiss me because of my inability to fit in. I mean, I believe personality can overcome someone's shortcomings, but people make it sound like they would need a GREAT personality. I'm not the most positive person or the most outgoing. So now I feel like my personality isn't good enough, and that women only go for guys who are more outgoing and "fun."

I constantly feel like I'm supposed to be "on stage" when meeting women for the first time. Like if I don't act flashy and outgoing enough they won't want to hang out with me, or I'll be lost in a sea of other guys who they do think are fun and outgoing. I come from a kind of family history that have been very well respected, but humble people. I know no one is impressed when they first meet me, that I appear like just an average guy, maybe a little introverted. But like I said, if you asked my good friends they would tell you I'm fun to be around and easy-going. It just seems like girls only hang with guys who are constantly entertaining and outgoing; that they won't take the time to get to know me so they can see the real me. I don't open up to just anybody. Earlier in life, other kids made it hard for me to fit in, so I grew more and more cautious to getting close to people. It hasn't changed much and there are still people who will make it hard for me to fit in, just because they're jerks or whatever. I think few people would really understand what it is like to constantly have your guard up, but for good reason. I already know a good majority of guys don't give me respect off the bat because of my height/size at my age, which is why I have difficulty making male friends, but now I'm wondering if it applies to women too.

[audreypoulain]

No I dont think its weird for a guy not to have any female friends. I think its weird if a guy only has gay friends and confides with them his most intimate secrets. I think its weird cause my friend's ex-boyfriend was like this and they broke up because of the gay crowd that he hung out with and always leaving my friend in the blind.

 

A good personality is a guy who listens, is polite, never yells or says any mean things to a girl. My boyfriend is the silent type, he is very shy and he doesn't drink or do anything outgoing. I am his first girlfriend and because of that I am attracted to him. I love shy quiet guys and not the loud cocky guys. Just be yourself because in my opinion nice guys always finish first.

[coldplay]

Look I know this thread was for women to post on, but i have a couple of things to say to you; DISREguard what women tell you. 1.) If a women got what she wanted from the start she would treat you like * * * *, and for guys who do this, they are put in what you call a womens friend zone and that's NO FUN...2.) I can't write this other stuff on this post because i dont want people to judge me or you for listen to what i have to say. I just want to say that you sound the same way i did a little more than a year ago; PEOPLE dont understand what YOUR going through! Let me open up your eyes and introduce you to a new world... I'll PM you a couple of suggestions...

[heartlessromantic]

I like having female friends because they are easy to talk to and are good listeners. It's also good to have the female perspective on things.

 

I try to be good about putting women I meet in either the "friends" or "potentials" bucket. Once a girl is in a given bucket, she's staying there. I just try hard not to interact or think of somebody in the "friends" bucket as a romantic interest. This keeps me from driving myself crazy. Oftentimes, my system self-regulates because attractive females tend to already have boyfriends. And of course, there is the occasional crossover but generally this system works well for me.

[Lost in fairytales]

A guy without female friend is perfectly normal. You probably just find it easier talking to males. You said "I think of them as either potential romantic possibilities or casual friends" does that mean you have casual female friends, just not close ones?

 

As for attractive personality...

 

the attractive part: Well I don't want to say this, but for most girls, look do matter too. Go figure why the hot guy is always surrounded by tonnes of chicks.

 

the personality part: most girls put "humour" at the top of their list. It's always good to hung out with someone cracks you up all the time. Then there's considerate, ambitious, masculine, gentle, good listener, commited etc etc depending on the girl.

 

NB: what girls want can be very contradictory.

[Caterina]

Personally, I also don't think its weird to have no female friends. I prefer guys like that...a lot of the types who have legions of female friends are really just womanizers in disguise anyways. Usually guys with a lot of female friends are a little too feminine for me, also.

 

Now, to me an attractive guy is sensitive. That doesn't mean that he's girly. It means that he has a good head on his shoulders and enjoys listening to you and trying to understand you. I also like guys with similar interests...who are good conversationalists. A nice smile also helps, lol.