oh yeah Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 well, ive been with my bf almost a yr. The first time we had sex was the first time i had ever had sex but I didn't bleed. he is convinced i was not a virgin since i didnt bleed, but i was. we always fight because he thinks ive been lying to him for a yr about my virginity. i dont know how to explain why i didnt bleed.. i dont know... but i wish i could find a way to make him beleieve me that i was a virgin when i had sex with him but i don't know how to... any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Souffle Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 First of all your boyfriend is a man, he doesn't know anything about women. It is a stereotype that women gush blood when they first have sex. When I had sex for the first time, I didn't bleed either! It hurt because it was the first time, but I didn't bleed. It took three weeks of sexual intercourse until I bled, and it was only a small pin thumb print size. Sometimes it takes a while for the hyman to break. Sometimes it stretches and stretches and by the time it is broken, it is so stretched out that it only bleeds a small amount. Also, do you ride horses? Because sometimes the hyman will dissipate if you horseback ride. My guess is that because my boyfriend was very very gentle, I didn't bleed right away. I am not an expert, but I think the less gentle, the more blood. Hopefully he was gentle with you! And even, let's just say, if you weren't a virgin, so what? Hopefully he isn't an and is getting all upset about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treefrogkate Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you're going to bleed! Have you used tampons? Have you ever horseback-ridden? There are lots of things you can do that will stretch the hymen enough so that you don't bleed the first time you have sex. If he is having this much trouble trusting you over something as silly as this, I would be very wary of this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 It is a stereotype that all girls bleed when they first have sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 I did not bleed the first time either, and have never bled during sex. As others said, the hymen can be torn from vigorous exercise, wearing tampons, and I think some women are even born without one. I think the bigger issue is why your boyfriend is asking these questions. He clearly doesn't trust you, and it doesn't sound like he has any reason not to. Trust is an essential component to a relationship, and he needs to get over this issue quickly. The fact that he is making such a big deal out of this also makes him seem quite controlling. If you want to continue your relationship, I would advise you sit him down, tell him what you have already told him, and explain that this is the last time you will re-hash this issue. But honestly, I would be very wary of his suspicion. Is he otherwise distrustful or suspicious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 lol, I dont understand what this has to do with riding horses. I've rode all my life and I bled like crazy my first time. He was rather large...I think that has a lot to do with it also. If your bf isn't really big and he went slow then I could see where there wasnt any bleeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepie Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 lol, I dont understand what this has to do with riding horses. I've rode all my life and I bled like crazy my first time. He was rather large...I think that has a lot to do with it also. If your bf isn't really big and he went slow then I could see where there wasnt any bleeding. I rode horses and bikes, used tampons, masturbated and even tried to break my hymen myself before I had sex for the first time. I bled like crazy too. I was in agony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justpaisley Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Every woman is different, some bleed, and some don't. I didn't bleed my first time, and never have. Women bleed when their hymens break, or occasionally when their vaginal tissue tears. If your hymen already broke from some other activity (anything can cause hymenal breakage), then you're not likely to bleed. The big problem here is that you're with a man that doesn't trust you. Why are you willing to put up with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n83 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Wow.. He sounds ridiculously insecure .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick32x Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Wow.. He sounds ridiculously insecure .. my thoughts exactly..... How old is this guy? Because it seems a bit ridiculous... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 lol, I dont understand what this has to do with riding horses. I've rode all my life and I bled like crazy my first time. When you ride horses vigorously you can tear your hymen before you actually have sex. I've been riding since I was 10 and I did not bleed my first time... but as others have said, every woman's body is different and not everyone bleeds the first time you have sex. I'm a little concerned that your boyfriend is so focused on your past, and that he does not trust you and picks fights over it. Perhaps suggesting he do a google search about it will set him straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oh yeah Posted December 9, 2006 Author Share Posted December 9, 2006 thanks everyone. yes it's true my bf doesnt trust me for whatever reason. i have never given him a reason not to but if you read any of my previous posts about him you'd see he is very jealous and insecure even though i don't know why. i love him to death just sometimes his insecurity causes a lot of problems in our relationship. im trying not to be shallow and leave him because he's insecure because i love him a lot it jsut gets frustrating. I guess i'll try to explain to him...again... that not all girls bleed. just out of curiosity, do insecure guys ever grow out of what im hoping is a phase, or are they always gonna be like that? What can I do to help him be more sure i would never cheat on him (because i really never would) and i love him so much. i mean, i tell him so much but he still is so insecure. i thought after a year he would be better but i dunno... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 In my experience, this kind of insecurity is not something that a person outgrows. It is usually some sort of internal conflict the person has that is not easily overcome, and it may have very little to do with you. I don't think it is shallow of you to break up with a person who picks fights and does not trust you. I am not saying that you have to leave him or that you should... but it does not mean you are shallow if you do, only that you are looking out for your best interests, and that means a guy who trusts you and who treats you will love and respect... all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 When you ride horses vigorously you can tear your hymen before you actually have sex. I've been riding since I was 10 and I did not bleed my first time... but as others have said, every woman's body is different and not everyone bleeds the first time you have sex. I'm a little concerned that your boyfriend is so focused on your past, and that he does not trust you and picks fights over it. Perhaps suggesting he do a google search about it will set him straight. I grew up on a horse...rodeo....team penning..all of it and it never broke mine. I was just wondering how you can break you hymen by being on a horses back? I've broke nearly every horse I've owned...hit the ground more times then I care to think about. I do agree that every woman's body is different and some may break easier than others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitbit Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 you must have just had a thick hymen then. by saying "every woman is different," they're actually saying the thickness of every woman's hyman varies. i didn't bleed, but it hurt like hell my first time. the only time i have ever bled is when my boyfriend gets a little too rough and tissue tears. i've been wearing tampons since i'm 13... and i probably didn't have a very thick hymen. i did feel a gross *pop* my first time being i was on top (his suggestion) and my ex decided he'd had enough of my going slow so he pushed me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 I grew up on a horse...rodeo....team penning..all of it and it never broke mine. I was just wondering how you can break you hymen by being on a horses back? I've broke nearly every horse I've owned...hit the ground more times then I care to think about. I do agree that every woman's body is different and some may break easier than others. The friction and movement of being on a horse's back, just as riding a bicycle, climbing over a tall fence, etc, can be enough to tear the hymen. Some women's hymens are tougher than others- and everyone's body is different. And when you bleed the first time during sex it is not always from a torn hymen... sometimes it is from the friction and the rubbing off of layers of cells in the vagina as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oh yeah Posted December 9, 2006 Author Share Posted December 9, 2006 ive used tampons since i was 12 or 13 and the first time i had sex i was 16. not only did i not bleed but it didnt hurt "like hell" like everyone keeps talking about. guess my bodys weird... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oh yeah Posted December 9, 2006 Author Share Posted December 9, 2006 ... could my hymen have just broken even though ive been having sex for like 10 months? and we do have sex a lotttttt... like at least 3 days a week... and each day its like all day long... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treefrogkate Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 just out of curiosity, do insecure guys ever grow out of what im hoping is a phase, or are they always gonna be like that? What can I do to help him be more sure i would never cheat on him (because i really never would) and i love him so much. i mean, i tell him so much but he still is so insecure. i thought after a year he would be better but i dunno... I hate to agree with whoever posted that they don't, but I was with someone who was incredibly jealous and insecure, and in the 4 years I was with him (3 of them we were *engaged* so I obviously wasn't looking for anyone else!) he didn't change, and in fact got worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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