depressed because of my pregnancy

[katie831]

i am 17 weeks and lately i have been feeling so down. A lot of my friends have stopped contacting me and although i spend a lot of time with my partner i feel really lonely. I also feel anxious about financial matters and how we will both cope.

 

These feelings have started to lead me to resent my baby which only worsens my mood as i feel like a bad mother.

 

i know that through pregnancy you have ups and downs but mine seem to be very extreme.

Is what i'm feeling normal?

 

could someone also explain to me what rhesus negative means and how it will affect the baby as i have been told by my midwife that i am rhesus negative over the phone but she didn't explain.

[luvursmile]

I've heard its normal for some women to go through depression during pregnancy & after giving birth.

[BornToResist]

I'm RH negative too. Here's what basically happens...you have a negative blood type (A-, B-, etc.) and it could POTENTIALLY cause problems. "It turns out that an Rh-negative mother can make antibodies (part of her immune system's response to invaders) against Rh-positive blood cells, even against those of her own baby." It goes on to list horrible possibilities, but basically they just give you a shot in your butt and you're good to go. It prevents your body from trying to fight your baby's blood type.

 

Also about the emotional part, it is very common to have these fears. Pregnancy is a VERY scary time! Your entire life is going to change, and I know change scares the crap out of me!

 

If it is really bothering you, try talking to your doctor, depression does happen to pop up in pregnancy and they have things they can do to help you cope.

 

I hope you'll get on the up-and-up soon, because although babies are scary, they are amazing and you will be changed for the better.

 

Sorry I couldn't be more help, feel free to post anytime you're down and out...

[texami]

the Rh thing is about your blood type. Rh negative is rare, and there is a shot they will give you before and after the birth to stop you from producing antibodies to Rh positive blood (which is what your baby is if the father is Rh positive). there is nothing wrong or dangerous about being Rh negative (I am, and just had to have the shots). it is just a thing they note so that they will give you the Rhogam shots. these shots make it safe for you to have another baby.

 

as for the depression and anxiety about the birth... it is normal to be depreseed due to hormone changes and nervous about how things will work out. can you find some pregnant ladies group just to talk aobut similar situations? if you feel your depression is way to extreme or you have dangerous thoughts, for sure find a doctor and talk about it.

 

you're not the only one by far!! something about being pregnant can make you feel alone ("i'm the only one feeling this way") especially if all your friends aren't.

[texami]

BTR is a faster typer than i am!!!

[Mythical_Suicide]

As the other two posters said, Being RHnegative is nothing to worry about they'll give you a Rhogam shot at around 28 weeks or so and then another right before birth and it's all good. Just beware, the shot burns like the devil so prepare yourself.

And as for the depression and such, it is fairly normal especially in the beginning and closer towards the end, if it gets too bad though I would talk with your doctor because some women can get to the point they "lose it" pretty much, it happened to my friend and she had horrible depression so bad they had to put her on medications and she was fine afterwards. Just focus on taking care of yourself and your baby. ((hugs))

[Siriana]

You can call your friends too. Don't wait them to call you.

[katie831]

that's the thing though when we do meet up we seem to have nothing in common.

 

about a month ago we all got together and went to a reastaurant but i felt like a babysitter looking after a bunch of kids.

 

thanks everyone for calming my nerves on being RH negative it doesn't seem that worrying now.

 

i hope i get over this depressed stage soon as it is starting to drive a wedge between my partner.

 

xxx

[Mythical_Suicide]

Try to find parenting groups in your area, they are all over so im sure youre bound to find one and get together with them. That's what I did when I found out I was pregnant, plus I joined the site I sent you and had alot of support from them.

But now the only friends I have are ones that have children and can completely understand the sleepless nights, the spit up, etc etc

[Siriana]

Oh, yes I bet you feel like babysitting, your life is diferent than theirs now. Well Mythical Suicide gave you good advice - parenting groups look like great idea.

[Dilly]

I am also Rh -. Funny!

 

BTR, you are so positive! I love it!

[Dilly]

Katie,

 

I bet you are thinking ahead and really nervousness is a feeling we get when we know we have to make adjustments in our lives. I feel nervous sometimes too, especially lately and know that it's partly just nature's way of getting me to think long and hard about what I need to do to come up with means to live within the budget.

 

It's hard, but you will find a way! Plus, your baby's father is probably going to be able to help you quite a bit. Hang in there!!!

[Dilly]

One more thought as I read through some of your older threads:

 

Are your parents being more supportive? You will find, Katie, that this decision was monumental and no matter what, your parents will come around. Your life is still yours. You just have to map out what you really want out of it and plan ahead. If you are still thinking college, discuss that with your partner. The two of you should really speak with some college counsellors and try to not forget your dreams, just know that this will be a sacrifice in the beginning. Keep your head high.

 

How is your boyfriend/partner handling all of this? Is he committed to the idea of being a provider?

[BornToResist]

I am also Rh -. Funny!

 

BTR, you are so positive! I love it!

 

I know...when did that happen?!? Haha jk

 

I was terrified the majority of the time...even this past weekend I broke down and was sobbing cause I am so scared. I'm going to have this whole other person depending on me, and I definently understand the friends thing, mine are completely gone, and well, this is scary!

 

But then I think to myself, if my life was to end in say, five years, I would definently choose to have a child beforehand and experience everything that comes along with it. Things may not have been the way I originally planned, but I am ultimately very excited to start this part of my life.

[katie831]

well my partner really wanted/wants this baby and he is very supportive. He still has not found a job, its not a case of him not looking because he does it's just no one wants to give him an interview for some reason. But he does want a job and wants to be able to provide for his new family.

so for the time being it is only me saving up and as i only work part time i have been thinking of getting a second job so we could put a deposit down on an appartment.

i still intend to go to college and i realise this will have to wait a few years. I just seem to be getting really frustrated with my boyfriend not having a job, having little money at the moment and no one except my bf to talk to.

At the moment i am living with my mum, she supports me but has started to become very controling and doesn't seem to want to give me the privacy i want now. However i am living at her's on very little rent so i feel i can not complain.

i guess i just feel helpless, there are certain changes that are happening too fast for what i would have liked,but then again there are other changes that have yet to happen but i think should have by now.

thanks for all your replies, it's good to see that i am not the only person who has felt like this.

xxx

[BornToResist]

Seems like all your concerns are completely valid.

 

I had to move back in with my mom too. Definently not the ideal situation whatsoever, but I am able to save more money, and you can too...so that's a plus.

 

I don't know how it is in the UK, but things get really hectic over here around the holidays and it's usually pretty difficult to find a job right now. Hopefully more things will open up after everything calms down from the holidays. Just a thought.

 

But it's smart of you to be thinking ahead, even if it is scary!