Haterade, to sip or not to sip...

[TheRedQueen]

I am not trying to be, or sound cute when I say, "I absolutely hate haters." C'mon now, who does?!?!?!?

 

I recently was on vacation with my quasi-boyfriend, his best friend, and his best friend's "love interest". His best friend's "love interest" was a highly intelligent, as well as highly attractive young female. My first impression of her was a good one, and at first everything was grand. However, by day two she suddenly became just-below-the-surface catty towards me, and truth be told it really hurt my feelings.

 

I am a woman, was raised in a family of women, and for as long as I can remember, have always loved and perhaps even "glorified" women. Sadly, since the age of 18, I have witnessed a new-found side to females, a subtle hostility, jealousy, and resentment that simmers beneath the surface, especially when in the company of men.

 

It is true that I happen to be an attractive female, but I am also lunier than the moon, and thereforeeee certainly unworthy of another person's envy, let alone, contempt. I don't covet that which isn't mine, I don't flirt with other women's men, especially when those other women are my friends, so why should I, or any other woman like me, be faced with such hostility?

 

So, what are your guys'/gals thoughts on this?

[annie24]

yeah, some women can be like that. jealous around other attractive women. try not to take it personally, it is their insecurity talking. Some women just want to be the one "all the men in the room" are looking at. it's kind of sad....

 

I remember an example of this.... I was on a small boat for a day trip, maybe 20, 25 people. I was standing in line for the bathroom, a man was in front of me. I said to him, "it's a nice day today." He said "yeah." Out of nowhere, his gf came running up, grabbed his arm, and gave me the death stare.

 

I was thinking, "WHOA!!!!" I am just in line for the bathroom! not here to make the moves on your man.....

[dil]

I'm so glad I'm not the jealous type.

 

I make up for that though..with large amounts of self pity though lol.

[hosswhispra]

Women can definitely get catty. When the claws come out just chalk it up to their insecurity.

[Dilly]

I don't know but I really love your posts. You strike me as a woman I would really respect. I have a gorgeous friend, Alexis, who truly has it all. She is just intelligent, beautiful, and highly cool... yet she never acts catty. I am mystified by that. She never flirts with my guy friends and anyway, it takes a special girl to respect other women like this. You remind me of this type of woman and I really want to say KUDOS!!! I wish more of you were out there. Even though you were the recipient of hostility, don't worry about it, just know you have more female fans than those who sip from the well of the hatoraide.

[bitbit]

i'm convinced i have a hormone in me that makes other women hate me.

[caro33]

That's interesting RedQueen, because I have the same thoughts but the progression of my views on this has been the opposite to yours. I have found it depends on the women.

 

I went to an all girls private school in the 80s, and it was appalling. My school was populated with the cruellest, * * * * *iest, lying girls, who backstabbed their own best friends and always found new ways to hurt each other. It was a game. I just assumed that I would never fit in to life, and that all people were like this.

 

Got out of school and made some real female friends, but mostly surrounded myself with 'safe' guys. Since then it's evened out re the gender balance in my friendship circle, and I've found that perhaps my school experience was worse than the norm. So women are often great; there are heaps of unthreatened, nice people out there.

 

BUT there is still the gaggle of horrors that I went to school with, and all the others just like them. I am pretty sure nothing changed there - they have not gotten better with age. They are worse than their male counterparts too, because they have a heightened capacity for cutting cruelty that I think men just don't have.

 

So there are some awful men and awful women, but the awful women are much much better at cutting each other down and acting deceitfully and competitively. It's focussed too - it all seems to come down to jealousy and insecurity over looks and attention. I guess the only thing to do is recognise it for what it is, feel some patronising sympathy for their plight, then move on to easier pastures!