GF sees other "guy friends"

[treefrogkate]

As I posted, I have a lot of guy friends. Regarding the text messages, It's hard to tell a friend "Hey, stop that." but it sounds like she needs to have a talk with this guy and tell him that that is inappropriate. If it continues, she should stop seeing him. I know if someone deliberately went against what I asked them, they'd be gone. I would never put my relationship at risk for flirting with a guy I never intend on being with.

 

There is being friends with someone, and then there is leading someone on. There is a difference between lighthearted flirting between friends and hitting on someone. And I think she might just be toeing the line.

 

But! She doesn't know how you feel about it! TALK to her. Let her know that you find it inappropriate, but also make sure she knows you trust her. Perhaps "I trust you and know that you would never do anything to hurt me, but I feel uncomfortable when your friends flirt with you so much." No one is telepathic, and you need to have good communication if the relationship is going to last.

[bigheart09]

She needs to tell these guy friends of hers that she has a boyfriend, and it is not appropriate to be doing certain things because it is disrespectful to you. The cop friend shouldnt be calling her sexy (that would really bother me)...she needs to draw the line. She probably enjoys the attention from these guys.

[EvaGina]

Just because you people dont understand her friendships, it doesnt mean that she is doing anything wrong.

 

Scout, sorry for being so blunt, but you are making out like she is doing somthing wrong, when she just seems to have friendships that you havnt had experience with.

 

Anways, talk to her, tell her that you find the whole "sexy"t hing innapropriate... but if you trust her, you are just going to have to live with her friendships.

I am friends with my ex-fiancee, I would never stop talking to him for a boyfriend. I have friends that I sleep in the same bed with, that I cuddle, that grab my .. and it doesnt mean anything. Why? Becuase if it was a GIRLfriend my partner wouldnt blink an eye.

 

These people are her friends, her past, she has been honest with you and has given you no reason to doubt her. So they think she is sexy, how is that a bad thing? She obviosuly knows how to deal with them and they dont act in a way that makes her uncomfortable, so I really think you should just let her do what she thinks is right.

[canonman]

I think I do need to tell her how I feel, but I'm waiting when it's a good time. Maybe tonight, but I want to be in a good mood, since it might come accross badly if I'm acting all insecure.

 

Here's a nice note, I talked to her on the phone today and started off with "hey sexy", she said she likes it better when I say it.

 

 

thanks everyone for all your advice, I think you all had good points, the bottom line is, communication.

[EvaGina]

 

Sounds good... I think she realises that these guys are out of line, but as long as they arent being aggressive with thier attempts, she will juse let it slide, y'know?

[Momene]

As a bloke, I find it much easier to talk to girls about feelings because most other blokes see a sensitive bloke as a wimp.

 

Although I don't burden her with my problems (unless I'm badly off-guard), I find my teenage daughter very easy to talk to.

 

I have one close friend at work and we provide mutual moral support. We do not spend time together to the exclusion of our families and we don't cross any boundaries that would make her family or mine uncomfortable.

 

Genuine platonic friendships between men and women are valuable (my daughter has a couple of great guy friends, too) but there are "friends" who hang around someone in a relationship, hoping for a weakness to appear in that relationship that they can exploit.

[Iceman26]

but there are "friends" who hang around someone in a relationship, hoping for a weakness to appear in that relationship that they can exploit.

 

Agreed. I have seen this one too many times. I had friends that were like this.