Improving my odds with girls...

[Alabama]

I've been thinking about this a lot. Possibly during my second semester of College, going to randomly sitting down with girls and just talking with them. I've seen many girls sitting be themselves, with no one really around them. Would this be a good way to at least get over my shyness of girls? And then when I do decide to date, I wouldn't be so nervous to ask a random girl out.

[honeyspur]

Would this be a good way to at least get over my shyness of girls?

 

Boy, will it! LOL Wish I'd met a guy like you when I was in college!

You are right on the money - girls are shy and absolutely love that kind of subtle getting-to-know-you thing.

Great idea and pass it on!

[Beec]

Alabama,

 

Yes, that would seem to be fine. But when I went up and sat near them, I would go up, say "hello" and look them right in the eye and ask if the seat was taken, then sit down and be prepared to read or something. Don't look as if you whole purpose was to just sit down and talk to them. And if they do not want to talk the firs ttime you sit near them, don't worry, try them again.

 

Also, I would advise you to take this up as a habit: greet people, and do it with a slight smile. When you approach someone in the morning, walk tall, stick out your chest, look at them in the eye, give a slight smile and say "Good Morning" or at least hello. Say it to the person at a counter ewhen you buy something, say it to the janitor and security guard, say it to the person at the library counter. Say it to everyone. Soon, the person you said it to, will see you coming and smile and say it to you.

 

And, finally, since you seem to be talking like you will soon be on break between semesters, go buy Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" which is a great book and costs $8 new on link removed, and you should be able to find it cheaper. I can suggest more, but start there.

[Diggler]

I think this would definitely de-sensitize you to the situation and improve your natural confidence in the long run. If you get a bad reaction from someone - just brush it off as her problem and don't let it get to you.

[naughtycowgirl]

yeah its a good idea

[Survictor]

If you can't make it - fake it! This saying is so true!

 

I once put myself in a situation whereby I gave a solo performance. I have no talent. lol. I had no rehearsal (except in my mind) and no clear path. I was also being paid quite a bit and so I had to really force myself to go ahead with it.

 

I was so nervous, I hid in the washroom and phoned my partner. Anyway, I figured the audience didn't know me, were not critical of me and just wanted to be entertained and so, that was what I should do and with the cash in my pocket already, that is what I did.

 

When I had done it and it was successful, I felt elation and relief.

 

Once I had got over that first hurdle, nothing I did similar was quite so difficult or nerve wracking again and it got easier.

 

I can go out and perform without that sick, nervous apprehension or the shakes now. I still don't really enjoy doing it, it is jolly hard work but it pays the rent!

 

Anyway, by just going out there and doing it, that shyness will leave you and if it never does, you will at least know you can take a deep breath and overcome it.

[GeneralLee]

My only experience similar to this would be football in high school. My team was always the underdogs, picked to get the cowboy * * * * kicked out of us every game. I'd be sick with nerves before every game. I'd look at the opposing teams roster and see 6'2" 250lbs, 6'5" 300lbs and, being a modest 6' 205lbs, would be intimidated. I was so sure that I was going to get my * * * handed to me. But every game I'd swallow my fears and go out there for that first play and I'd lay someone out, and it was all gravy for the rest of the game, no tension at all. You have to treat your situation like that. You're gonna be nervous but just bite the bullet and get the ball rolling and it'll all be downhill from there, no matter what happens. If she starts talking to you, score, congratulations. If she doesn't talk to you, just sit there and read your book, you're still in control of the situation. If she tells you to leave or gives you "The Death Stare" just apologize with a big grin on your face, and get up and leave, she's not worth your time.

[Alabama]

Thanks everyone for your help! I will definitely try this next semester!

[atraceofblood]

Thanks everyone for your help! I will definitely try this next semester!

 

please let us know how you do!

[aggierocker]

Getting over shyness? Become a waiter.

[bitbit]

guys think it's such a complex thing to talk to a girl! we don't want pick up lines and game. we just want conversation. just walk up, say hi and make small talk. nothing profound, no "slick" lines, just a hello. give her a small, tiny compliment like something about her shoes, or bag, or t-shirt... nothing overwhelming. then, get up, smile, tell her it was nice talking to her and walk away. that way, you're not fully avaliable but you still made the first move.

[Alabama]

That really helps. Thanks bitbit.

[wexmen]

alabama , the following is useful step for college romance , try it on.

 

1 step ; sit near them and try to make some small talk something sound like greet but it is more than that.

 

2 step ; try to make yourself meet them regularly in the college .i mean not only in your class or lecture hall .

 

3 step ; if they meet you ,just ask question like where are you all going ? how is your test ?

 

4 step ; if they have any problem in their studys, just try to offer an asistance .

 

5 step ; sooner and later , you will become a close friends for them.

 

6 step ; finally , it is the time you should give some hint for them that you are interested in them .

 

wish you succeed in your love life .

[GeneralLee]

guys think it's such a complex thing to talk to a girl! we don't want pick up lines and game. we just want conversation. just walk up, say hi and make small talk. nothing profound, no "slick" lines, just a hello. give her a small, tiny compliment like something about her shoes, or bag, or t-shirt... nothing overwhelming. then, get up, smile, tell her it was nice talking to her and walk away. that way, you're not fully avaliable but you still made the first move.

 

bitbit, I wish talking to girls like you were that easy. I'll bet it is that easy if the guy is dressed in $500 worth of designer labels and looks like Collin Farell, but I very rarely have ever seen the "Hello" work for your average guy.

[Shudder]

I'll bet it is that easy if the guy is dressed in $500 worth of designer labels and looks like Collin Farell, but I very rarely have ever seen the "Hello" work for your average guy.

 

that, i have to say is bs

[Firiel]

bitbit, I wish talking to girls like you were that easy. I'll bet it is that easy if the guy is dressed in $500 worth of designer labels and looks like Collin Farell, but I very rarely have ever seen the "Hello" work for your average guy.

 

"Hello" works better than anything else for me, at least. I'd be far more likely to talk to and get to know a guy who seemed nice and had enough initiative to start a pleasant conversation than a guy who tried overly hard to be clever/suave/whatever.

[paulm]

I wish I could rewind my life a few years and have been more outgoing during university...so much opportunity..too busy studying/neediness. It's really great being in an environment where everyone is within 1-2 years of your age, [getting] educated and looking to meet new people.

 

Fun times after school too, but a tad different.