Do women loose interest if you have sex with them early on?

[clockman4033]

I slept with a girl after only 4 dates. I usually wait longer than that, but we both couldn't restrain ourselves. I know some girls say that guys loose interest in them if they give it up to early, but does it work the other way around too?

 

It has only sparked my interest in her. I can't wait to see her again but she is busy.

 

I did end up seeing her a few days later and we were comfortable with eachother. But we were not as hot and heavy as the last time. Haven't seen her in 4 days now. Do you think she is keeping her distance to prove something or do you think she lost some interest in me?

 

Confused.

[dil]

I thought that was a guy thing...

[Mythical_Suicide]

She may be keeping her distance wondering if you're thinking the smae things about her.. (losing interest,etc..)

[n83]

She might be nervous that things went too fast ... It might help to just have an open and frank talk with her about it. Don't hesitate to tell her that you really like her and want to keep seeing her .. She might be worried that you do that with lots of girls, or she may be questioning why she slept with you so quickly... As long as she knows you're still interested in her, it has a chance to work out.

Good luck!

[Luke Skywalker]

No way, from what I read in sosuave, dating books, and even the Bible they will want you if you do that.

Usually what guys are worried about is the girl latching on to them, cause thats what they usually do when they give it early.

 

What's likely to happen statistically is you'll hate her after you have sex with her, if she gave it too easily, and you'll want to get rid of her while she'll want you.

 

I've read about this with Amnon and Tamar in book of Samuel, OT, where Amnon slept with his half-sister Tamar and hated her afterwards and wanted to get rid of her. Shows how unstable emotions are involved in these cases.

 

I've read about this on link removed about guys hating women after they give it to them, and so forth.

 

So you may have to worry about yourself more than the girl.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yes, its been my experience that it can happen. Hard to explain why though.

[quietgrl]

Some women would think of you as casual not relationship material

[laboheme]

It's always hard to make generalizations, but I can definitey see how the girl may think that you're only interested in sex...Or maybe sex was her main goal and since the second time didn't go as well as the first, she's losing interest?

 

Like others have said, make sure she knows that you're still interested, and interested in more than sex...and go from there

[clockman4033]

Hmmm sounds like it is a possibility but not a strong one.

 

She did ask me what I was looking for when we first went out and I was upfront that I was looking for a relationship and not a hook up. I think that changed her mind about me because she seemed worried about that at first. So hopefully I made that clear, but maybe my actions the other night didn't coincide.

 

The thing is that I am not just interested sex with her. I wish I could just talk to her about this but I feel that it is too early to reveal my feelings. We still joke with one another that we only like each other a little bit.

 

I tried to have sex with her the second time, but she wasn't up to it and had to get home at a reasonable time for class the next day.

 

I would set up another date soon with her, but she has class all day and then gym practice until 9pm or so. That doesn't leave much time to go out. How else can I show her that I am interested in more than sex? I promise I won't have sex with her the next time we hangout. As tough as that may be.

[shikashika]

Some women would think of you as casual not relationship material

 

I disagree... 4 dates?! what are they waiting for?

 

I would not see this as casual at all... not after 4 dates.. maybe 4 hours!

 

If I waited 4 dates I don't see that as too soon at all

 

For me, if I waited 4 dates I would think I waited long enough.

 

I don't think you have ot owrry

[shikashika]

you said you are interested in more than that with her... maybe she is just waiting for you to call.. and unsure of whether she was just used... if you DON'T call her... she will probably think you just used her. At least send her a text saying "hey I had a great time with you.. lets catch up again soon!

[quietgrl]

Well in California(my neck of the woods)A person especially a woman who has sex with a person less then 4 dates(less then a month).People would call them a &*%&*.So YES people will think you're not relationship material but booty call material.Yes people look at your sexual history.

[clockman4033]

I did call her and we spoke every couple of days while we were away on TG break. Friendly, fun, flirty chat. But I tried to see her when we got back (I want to see you tonight) but she said she was busy that night going out with old friends. I was expecting some type of hint that she was available later in the week but nothing. Should I ask to see her again soon? Not so easy trying to date women.

[shikashika]

Well in California(my neck of the woods)A person especially a woman who has sex with a person less then 4 dates(less then a month).People would call them a &*%&*.So YES people will think you're not relationship material but booty call material.Yes people look at your sexual history.

 

 

yes i'm sure everyone in California thinks about somoene who has sex in less than 4 dates is a $)(#%$# or whatever you want to say...

 

Most people I know do not wait 4 dates.. let aloen a month.... good grief...and none of them are skanks or other bad words... Maybe a relaly immature person would think like that

 

maybe in 1950 people would have said that but not anymore

[shikashika]

I did call her and we spoke every couple of days while we were away on TG break. Friendly, fun, flirty chat. But I tried to see her when we got back (I want to see you tonight) but she said she was busy that night going out with old friends. I was expecting some type of hint that she was available later in the week but nothing. Should I ask to see her again soon? Not so easy trying to date women.

 

dating is never easy!!! the sex may have had nothing to do with it? Did you think it was good sex? maybe this is why she hasn't called you

 

maybeshe is trying to eb aloof and playing hard to get

[renaissancewoman101]

I don't think women lose interest as much as they may be afraid that YOU may have lost interest in her. So, she is going to pull back and see what YOU do. I think women are afraid of being seen as being "loose", so they rather pull back and wait to see what the guy does, instead of "chasing" the guy.

[shikashika]

I don't think women lose interest as much as they may be afraid that YOU may have lost interest in her. So, she is going to pull back and see what YOU do. I think women are afraid of being seen as being "loose", so they rather pull back and wait to see what the guy does, instead of "chasing" the guy.

 

 

I agree with this.. I used to be more aggressive, and say things like "I know what I want..I'll go after it... but as much as its frustrating... we have to sit and wait for the boy'

 

(now I wait at least 2 dates... ha ha ha!!)

 

She has probably read "He's just not that into you" and is trying ot see how much effort you will make to chase after her.

 

I really don't think she will be afraid of being seen as as 'loose'... I really think the timing of sex has nothing to do with a MATURE person's opinion of the person.

 

Ae you've said yourself, you selpt with the girl, but only want to see her more!

 

Good luck!

[clockman4033]

Ya I understand that dating is not easy. It is just that this girl is A LOT more work than past girls I have dated. Probably the fact that she is an athlete and spends so much time training doesn't make it easy to track her down. I think she even admitted to me that she is a lot or work to date because of her schedule. But I am not afraid of a good challenge.

 

And no I don't think she would have any complaints about the sex. She looked and sounded like she was in heaven. Even came before me. Lots of noises and an ear to ear grin the next morning when I walked her home.

 

I guess I am just afraid of walking the fine line between chasing after a girl playing hard to get (or actually busy) and looking desperate by calling her everyday and wanting to see her soon. I don't want to try too hard, chase after her and get myself hurt if you know what I mean. I am actually contemplating wheter I should play it cool and not contact her for a few days.

[shikashika]

see thats why you like her... she is hard work... if she was so easy to attain, do you think you would be so attracted to her?

 

Thats good that she has a full life.... as you said you like the challenge of getting her to see you despite her busy schedule!

 

Good luck!!

[Lion-Guy]

Hmm yes you are right.

 

I think he enjoys the challenge and that is what is keeping him interested in this girl. If she was easy to attain I bet you wouldn't be so intriqued.

[clockman4033]

Well yes you are both right. I do like the challenge, well up to a certain point.

 

So should I keep chasing or play a little hard to get myself?

[quietgrl]

yes i'm sure everyone in California thinks about somoene who has sex in less than 4 dates is a $)(#%$# or whatever you want to say...

 

Most people I know do not wait 4 dates.. let aloen a month.... good grief...and none of them are skanks or other bad words... Maybe a relaly immature person would think like that

 

maybe in 1950 people would have said that but not anymore

 

No it's not immature or 1950 people who are saying these things. It's people who are telling the TRUTH about themselves and others.The truth will set you free.Hey if you want to have sex with a person less then a month then tell the truth about yourself and move on.My neck in the woods we try to tell the truth .You're into commitment you're into commitment.You're a pump your a pump.You're a playa you're a playa.You're a *&*& you're a *&*&.A person needs to be honest with themselves because YES people do look at your sex history.

[applepie]

I don't think 4 dates is bad at all. Afterall, she did consent to it. She could have held back at any time.

 

There are a number of things she may be thinking now. One could be that she regrets it, or is uninterested now (probably not from the sex alone). In that case, there is nothing you can do. Hopefully, she would do the honest thing and tell you.

 

Two, could be that she is playing some kind of game. Apparently that's the thing to do these days. She may think that now you've had sex with her, she needs to keep you thinking about her by avoiding you and making you question what she's up to. This is incredibly evil in my opinion, and I have no idea if it even works.

 

Other than that, she may actually be busy. It happens from time to time.

[shikashika]

No it's not immature or 1950 people who are saying these things. It's people who are telling the TRUTH about themselves and others.The truth will set you free.Hey if you want to have sex with a person less then a month then tell the truth about yourself and move on.My neck in the woods we try to tell the truth .You're into commitment you're into commitment.You're a pump your a pump.You're a playa you're a playa.You're a *&*& you're a *&*&.A person needs to be honest with themselves because YES people do look at your sex history.

 

 

quietgrl... it is immature or rude for people to make comments about someone based on whent hey have sex with a person... whether its 4 hours, or 4 dates or 4 years....

 

I always tell the truth to every guy i've been with.

 

I dated a guy for over two years and we had sex on the first date... it has nothing to do with lack of commitment. I'm going to a wedding in February where my friend hooked up with the guy at the club where they met. I was at a wedding int he summer where they waited 5 years.

 

A playa or a pump or whatever you call it has more to do with their attitude, not the timing of first intercourse.

 

You are right about some people looking at sexual history... but who wants to be with someone who judges me/ you on how many partners you've been or not been with.

 

You are right that there are some people who will make a comment about someone based on when they have sex... but those people have some serious insecurity problems if they judge a person as so when they have sex with someone else.

 

I would never be with some guy who judges me on my sexual history.

 

And the reason thy I responded to you int he first place was that you amde a comment about 4 dates... if he had said 4 hours, I can see why you would have thought it was 'casual... but 4 dates???? thats plenty of time...

 

anyway, back to the main thread

 

I think you should try a little more, she could be playing hard to get, but she really coudl be busy... I know when I was at university I was involved with a sports team and we sometimes had practice twice a day.

 

And, my way of thinking... if she waited 4 dates to sleep with you... IMO opinion, she WAITED... it wasn't too soon at all...and if you wait for something it usually means you like the person.

 

have you just been asking her to do anything specific... or just been texting her, emaling her.

I can only say what I would do..

if I really was busy and a guy I liked asked me to do something when I was busy, I would say ' sorry can't do it then... but I would offer another time or day that I was free and would see if he wanted to catch up them.. but then that is what I would do.

 

I woudl try a little longer, but if she rejects your plans... then leave the ball in her court

[applepie]

I couldn't agree with you more shikashika. I wouldn't want to be with someone who judged me like that.