Grokker Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing. Covers all the bases, and doesn't sound forced at all... overthinking it might make it sound that way, though. Good luck, Slightlybent, and May You Find Sanctuary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jengh Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 Personally, I thought, overall, it was fantastic. Very well written, humorous.. I do, however, agree with the other posters about possibly removing the deep poetry, talking people out of suicide things. While there's certainly nothing wrong with either, it's best saved for a later conversation. And I must say, if I was a single, 35 year old Southern California woman, I would definitely be interested! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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