Found out he cheated on me

[thegirl_00]

we've been going out for 9 months and he cheated on me 4 months ago. I jstt found out today. I feel like im going to puke and i suffer from really bad anxioty. I feel like im going to pass out.

 

Does anyone know how to deal with anxioty? I get really severe panic attacks sometimes and i feel like its going to happen again. I dont know what to do.

[CarnelianButterfly]

First take a some deep breaths and try to clear your mind. Cry if you need to, but don't let yourself get sobbing. When I'm really stressed a hot shower is always soothing, I just stand under the water and focus on the feeling of the heat spreading through my body. Try to keep yourself calm, if you feel like its getting to be too much, stop and breath. Controlled breathing helps settle you a lot. I try feel how each breath goes into my body, I focus on my heart and try to will it to beat slower. Focus on yourself and your body. Panic attacks are just over response of the body to stress, you can control them.

[ForAnother]

When its something that is too much to handle I do something that consumes me. Such as writing or watching my favorite child cartoon. They seem to put my head somewhere else.

 

Then when I'm tired of that my head gets cluttered, I take a shower. I relax, try and cry in the shower. Get out, brush my teeth, smile at myself and try and put the "pain" behind me. Breathing is really really really helpful. Breath then force a smile. Breath then force a smile. Soon you can breath, and trully think.

 

-ForAnother

[thegirl_00]

awe thanx so much you guys. I have to be up really early tomorrow, but i cant sleep and know i wont. at least I have a good excuse. I noticed the breathing does help and i would take a shower but everyone is sleeping and i dont want to wake them. I've been watching some funny tv shows and its helping a little.

 

The only thing is that I just can't get my mind off of it for some reason. I just keep wanting to think about it and it hurts a lot.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

such things are an incredible shock to the system, so we understand! if you really think you are suffering a serious anxiety attack, go to a walk in clinic or doctor or hospital, but you can probably calm yourself down by recognizing that it is an emotional response to a shock, and don't let yourself hyperventilate... if you do, get a paper bag and breathe into it for a while... and go see the doctor tomorrow to get some medication to help you out.

 

there are lots of good treatments for panic attacks these days, medications and therapy, so i would suggest you go to a Dr. tomorrow. then once you are calmed down a bit, you need to talk to your boyfriend and work thru the infidelity, whether this is something you can deal with together or a better thing to just move on for you heath's and sanity's sake.

[yeawutever]

Wow what an oxygen waste, go dump him in the streets and sorry you have to go through that, don't give him second chances, if you do he'll cheat again.

[Jayar]

First: Breathe...

 

Second: Dump him and don't EVER take him back.

 

Third: Recognize that this has signaled the end of your relationship. Accept it, embrace it, and don't try to change it.

 

Fourth: Get a couple good books on healing from a break-up like "It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken" and "The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up".

 

You need to start dealing with this in more of a "healing and moving on" thing than a "he cheated and I'm mad at him" thing. By cheating he demonstrated he isn't the one for you. Don't waste time. Good luck!

[thegirl_00]

thanx you guys. Things are getting better even though its only been 2 days. I saw him yesterday because he wanted to talk. well that didnt last too long because I just ended up crying for the whole time. So left and saw an old friend. that really helped and cheered me up. I went for a lot of walks and I'm trying to move on by making plans with friends and just doing school work and continuing to play soccer.

I did call in sick to work yesterday which maybe i shouldn't have, but I probably would have started crying at work and I didn't want to make a scene. I hope the anxioty attacks dont come back. I'm still getting them but not as bad. I hope things keep on getting better because I really dont want them to get worse

[RayKay]

I am sorry hon, that really sucks. It's very confusing too, because when you are cheated on not only are you angry at them being such losers, you are disappointed, can be hard on yourself for 'not seeing it' and despite it...you do miss them too.

 

It just takes time, time, time. And, I think taking a sick day from work was a good idea....sometimes you need a mental health day too, and I would say that you had every right to take one after that news.

 

Start getting your distance, and I would suggest going into NC. He said his "peace" I guess yesterday, and I would say now you have to start moving forward.