Strictly4MyGrind Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Something ive noticed its been quite blatantly in my face so much, with my friends myself and me reading on the forum..... Well it seems that realtionships seem to be soo good and happy in high school years and as soon as it reaches college it messes up? This is with 5 of my friends all there girlfriends of some considerable time seem to find reasons to split up over the few weeks we had been in college, and these are friends from diffrent colleges! Also just other people i have hurd of this has happened to. Same with me for some reason me and my g/f had problems for whatever reason and split up also..... And there were a few threads i read also that have exactly the same thing..... And i dont mean to be sexist but it seems most of the time the girl leaves the guy....... Why is this? I dont understand...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaDancingPsych Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 The transition from high school to college is a big one. A lot of things happen. For most, they are changing schools, changing cities, living without parents, fending for their own more, ect, ect. These things have a way of helping us to grown in new and different ways. Hopefully taking us from being children to being adults. There are some who are lucky to find a life partner during their high school years and college only brings them closer. But I think for most, the changes that happen within us change the sort of people who we socialize and even date. I look back fondly on my high school boyfriend (yes, we broke up shortly after college started.) He was/still is a great guy and we had some fun times together. However, we became different people and that's not a bad thing, just means that we don't click the way we used to. We've each found someone new who matches our new (hopefully more mature) outlook on life. I think with life changes comes changes in who we are. I think the change from high school to college is one of the biggest and that's why you're witnessing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heloladies21 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 The high school to college thing, not so relevant. It has to do with the chick's psychology, but it's not the underlying problem. But this is very relevant... And i dont mean to be sexist but it seems most of the time the girl leaves the guy....... Why is this? I dont understand...... This is definitely the case and it's usually the case. A chick will stay interested in a guy to the point that she finally realizes that the guy is not serious about her. Not that you didn't treat her well, you probably did treat her great, but there are some other ways that lots of guys screw up that show a chick you don't care. They're tests, like if a guy never gets jealous of a chick when she's testing him, he fails the test and will eventually get dumped. Also by acting nice all the time even when she's acting wrong, lots of guys show a chick that they have no backbone and are basically acting fake, so they question whether you're faking it when you act all nice. Not saying that this is you, need to know more to say for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 It might be that when the women reach college they have exposure to a more mature pool of men and find what was once good in high school isn't in college. Maybe the guys called the women chick too much and they decided to kick them to the curb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xLDx Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Long distance relationships are too circumstantial to pin break-ups on girls or guys specifically. Changes can occur in either partner, and thus either partner can come to a realization that the distance is just too big of an obstacle, or that the future just isn't realistic. For me it was both. I was more committed to the relationship than she was, and she often thought of me after doing something that could potentially hurt my feelings (i.e. with other guys, innocent or not). I was hurt a lot, but I was far too attached that the relationship was lopsided. Sometimes you need an awakening to how bad the situation truly is to know what you want. My ex told me she was tired of hurting me, that I didn't deserve it, and that I deserved better. That's not the part that got me, but it was when she said the future just might not be realistic. True, I thought. I was going to a University close to her not for the reason that it would give me a better education, but because it was close to her. She said she'd fight for the relationship as long as I wanted to, but I decided I didn't want to anymore. I can't wait around for her to be sure of what she wants, and I felt that I needed to think of me for once. I broke it off with her because of these reasons. Here's the thing though. University/College relationships don't necessarily take love out of the equation. Hell, my ex and I still declared our love even after we broke up. I'd still probably say that I love her. But I know it was for the best, and that it just can't work. Because of that the mourning process is much less hurtful. Plus, often in high school, teenagers are quite sheltered. Limited by rules and curfews, and you'd experienced everything in that sort of lifestyle. In college/Uni it's a whole different ballgame, and people want to experience it to it's fullest. I don't blame them. LDR's like that just take a lot more than love sometimes. You really have to be compatable with the other person, and believe it or not, not many relationships are that compatable, and the only way to realize that is to be apart sometimes. Just my opinion~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momene Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 I think going to long distance when you've been in the same place is a really hard one. Adults changing jobs can have a similar effect, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Jarlsberg Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 It's moutons noirS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 College and graduate school were fabulous for my relationships. Achieving a higher education raised my self esteem and helped me to make better choices in who I dated and became involved with. Sometimes this means you have a different perspective on a significant other if that person is not on the same wavelength with you as far as educational goals and career. It is good to break things off at that point if the two of you are going in different and incompatible directions. Looking back, there are a number of guys I dated in high school and right after who I would have nothing in common with now given the paths they chose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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