Swept off my feet...now no call.

[LuciaSeia]

Friday night a girlfriend and I decided to head over to a local bar near her house. Keep in mind I was dressed down and in noway was looking to meet anybody –this was just an after dinner girls night drink. Anyhow this guy and a small entourage of guys walked in..my friend immediately took notice to the most strikingly good looking one. I just admired him for a minute and went back to relaxing and chatting…..I didn't think I would be approached looking so casual.

 

While halfway through my drink the guy walked over to our table and made small talk- before leaving he told us when we were done with our drinks he was getting us another round. He did..and one of his friends joined us at the table. Before long it was only him and I chatting- his friends at another table. He even brought me up to dance…and continually kept asking if I was ok and I needed anything. Towards the course of the evening we all found ourselves outside where he was boasting to his friends how beautiful I was, and classy, and how he was going to take me out. They all agreed at his praise of me.

 

Eh, I must have come off as too relaxed when he asked me when he can call me to take me out , I said "whenever"…

 

It's Thursday now, almost a week later, and no call.

 

What gives? He completely charmed me, made it seem like he was really into me…and now hasn't called me. My friend and I both didn't regard him as a player, somehow he came accross as more genuine. Is 5 days too long to wait for a guy to be truly interested? Should I cal him?

 

 

This always seems to happen to me. I always get asked for my number but they RARELY call me.

[Batya33]

I think you need a thicker skin. It is typical not to get a call after you meet a stranger particularly if you meet where there is alcohol involved at a bar or club. He cannot sweep you off your feet unless you allow him to. What I do is to be somewhat self-protective until I know that the person's actions match his words, consistently and over time. Sometimes this can take months.

[Dating Coach]

Hmmm... possibly he was playing, I don't know. Buying drinks for girls and trying to flatter them is something that my friends who are only out for zex do. Not saying he is one, but I know player types that do this, and sometimes they don't call back either because their goal was that night, or perhaps they found someone else the following couple of days. Who knows.

 

It's too early to tell, but if he doesn't call in the next couple of days then I'd forget about him. Usually 3-5 days is an okay average.

[chai714]

If he does happen to call, don't take a date for the same night.

 

If he calls you tomorrow night and you go with it and meet up, then he's looking for action.

 

It all depends on what you want from him whether it be a date or sex.

[rocio]

I think you need a thicker skin.

 

Yes.

 

You met a guy. He thought you were hot. Great!

 

Take it as a compliment. If he calls, cool. If not, so what?

[Day_Walker]

When I think of a guy boasting, buying you drinks and telling you that you are beautiful thats exactly what I consider a player to be. If it has been that long he still may call or maybe he wont. It is hard to say after meeting a person one time especially when alcohol is involved, judging their interest.

[Batya33]

I have met men in social situations, given them my number and then changed my mind about my interest level or met someone else. That does not make me a player same as a man telling you he plans to call you and then changing his mind does not make him a player.

[rocio]

He could be a player. He could be too shy to call. He could have been so drunk he didn't remember you. He may have lost your number. He might have a gf. You may never know. Why bother wondering?

[Jayar]

And needless to say... DO NOT CALL HIM!!!!

[annie24]

oh yeah, it happens. some guys just wanted to see if they could get your number, not that they had an intention of calling you. or they changed their minds. or their ex is back in the picture.

 

whatever, doesn't matter. definitely don't get attached to guys you meet in a bar one time.

[candyperfumegrl]

12 days for me...

 

so just hang in there

[annie24]

meh, if a guy doesn't call me within a week, I mentally write him off and move on.

[Ant1975]

whoa, dont worry about him not calling yet. He could be busy or perhaps hes trying not to be predicatable and call in the requisite 3 days.I know that when I get a number I make a point of not calling for at least 4-5 days. It doesnt make you a player or anything else. And look at the effect its having on you as its obviously driving up your interest in this guy and he's not even doing anything wrong. Patience, if hes interested he'll call.

[axg275]

My friend and I have this game, every weekend we go out and play a game of who gets the most numbers in one weekend. We approach any group of women with one goal to get a number independent if she like us or not. We later decide to call or not. And if I do like the gril I would call her back the next day with any reason, not even to ask for a date. I would say that he is not goin to call if its been this long, however if he spend all night with you, you never know.

[charley]

When you said "whenever", maybe he thought you said "whatever", or maybe that's how he perceived it.

 

I didn't hear your voice inflexion or see your body language. I wasn't there so I couldn't begin to know what happened. I can only guess.

 

Some guys like a challenge and your casual demeaner of indifference would turn them on as a challenge. Nothing short of a restraining order or pepper spray is going to make a guy like that stop hitting on you. I have a guy friend like that. He likes a challenge. I don't want to be like him, but I do find it highly entertaining to watch him succeed or fail.

 

On the other hand, myself and many other guys would interpret indifference, or perceived indifference, as indifference and we'd give up and move on. In fact, I recently did that when a gal was being indifferent to me. The next time I went back to the club where she works, my best friend (woman) was with me. The indifferent gal started acting jealous, according to my friend. I didn't notice since I'm now ignoring her. I didn't even want to go back there, but my friend insisted. My friend likes the music there, plus I think she wanted to mess with the other gal a bit. My friend was acting like my date that night, which she was not. My friend doesn't like me that way, but I think she was making a point to the other gal.

 

Anyhow, I interpret indifference as not interested. i.e. - if she's very casual about everything, especially compliments, then I'd think she's not interested and I'm giving up right there and then. On the other hand, on those occasions when I was given a number, I waited 4 to 5 days to call because I don't want to look desperate. My friends have told me a guy should call on the 4th or 5th day because it's not to soon, or to late. So maybe this guy will yet call you. However, what kind of guy would show off like that in front of his friends by complimenting you, getting your number, etc? A player. I think a sincere guy would want some privacy, not an audience. Maybe you're better of if this guy doesn't call you.