Who am i?

[basic999]

i cant figure my life out, i have a great girlfriend, trustworthy, pretty, all great. But when i have her i dont really want her, i do, i mean but it isnt the same. we broke up a while, she stayed faithful the whole break up, we acted like bf and gf basically, but i treated her bad, and had sex with other people, but she didnt, then she did, and i went off the deep end at the thought of losing her. now that i have her back, im freaking out, thinking im wasting my childhood, when shes here i wish she wasnt, when she isnt i wish she was. At times i think i want to just be young, have stupid 1 nighters, get drunk, act like a 20 year old, im almost 21 and its getting worse. I dont know what to do, how can i get happy? i cant appreciate anything thats a guarantee, im sure she will be with me til the end, thus i dont appreciate it, if i lost her id flip out. what should i do?

[Weeblie]

You're a young guy who shouldn't be dating that girl.

 

I think when you're with her...you probably resent her. You want to experience more of life, but then at the same time she's holding you back. But when she's with someonelse you probably get jealous because you remember what it was like to be with her. I have a feeling you've been with this girl for quite some time...high school sweetheart?

 

Let her go. If you keep this up you might actually marry her and then you'll be wondering what could've happened with your life. And for sure both of you'll be miserable.

[Alabama]

It sounds like your not ready for a commitment. You want to really get into the feel of life and see what great things it has to offer. I suggest just remain single and when you're ready to commit (maybe to this girl, personally) then do so.

[Robby Housel]

act like a man not a boy, be realistic, you know it is over, if you have to think about weather you love her or not you don't. it is something you know not need to think about.

[basic999]

Im trying my best, i cannot figure out whats going through my head. I do resent her, that is exactly the truth, i dont know why really, but i do. We talked today and she said itd be a good idea to take a break, a few months off, so i can get my * * * * straight, and just from that im already freaking out, the things that seemed mundane and boring now seem so appealing, and this is after 4 hours of being apart, i cant figure this one out, do i need to get help? i have noticed that when i take prescription pain killers every bit of this go away, could these have the same effect as some sort of anti depressant? lithium? anything, because i think shes the one, weve been together since i was 18, almost 21 now, and i cannot see myself with another girl, sexually i can, but in terms of a relationship? no way. she was my first real girlfriend, ive had otehr sexual partners but nothing serious, am i just scared of change? i dont know which feelings are real, the ones i have when im with her or the ones when im not, also, im the kind of person thats always worrying, death, life, anything, when i get over something then something else comes up, ive worried 75% of every day since i was 5 probly.

[Alabama]

I don't think it was neccesarily due to medication. Now that you're on a break, you have a chance to think, then do it. I'm sure you'll find the answer.