problem with a friend of mine

[mysticdreamer]

Ok, here's the story.

 

I've been really close friend with this person for two years, and she's awesome to be with. She's kind, funny, fun, a great listener, and she always give a helping hand whenever I need it, and I've been the same for her. From the very beginning, I knew we were complete opposite. She's dominate, aggressive, controlling, head strong, a drama queen, munipultive, and my biggest pep peeve that she posess is that she yells. However with me, I'm passive, sensative, a dweller, unforgiving, innocent, brutally honest and annalytical. So as you can see, we are complete opposite.

 

About a year ago, someone have said to me that this friend of mine of who I've trusted for two years been saying sh*t about me behind my back. I absorb it, but I didn't take it in. As meaning, I made sure that the information she gave is secured in my mind, but I didn't made a conclusion that she did say those things. Like I've done with many of my other friends, I've always approach them if they did say those things about me. However, with her, I approached the situation differently because of her dominent personality.

 

I would do anything to avoid confrontation simply because I'm not a fighter, and I hate to be yelled at. With her, I'll receive that for sure. So I thought of another idea.

 

I've decided to talk to someone else about it who happens to be friends with the person who given me the information. I can't remember what I've said to her exactly. I guess I said some things that I shouldn't say, but I was very angry because I didn't what to believe that this friend who I cared about would bash me behind my back, nor would I want to believe that I've been lied to. Although, my objective of this converstion was really, "how do I approach someone who's dominent without being yelled at."

 

Finally I did, and personally, I think it went well. I got my point accross in a delicate way possible, and I wasn't yelled at. I was also pleased when she said that she would never do that.

 

Weeks went by, and she completely yelled at me, and accused me of bashing her, and spreading our problems to everyone when I haven't. Although, I've talked to my boss because I felt I was violated.

 

This is the things that she was not too happy about.

 

She said that I should approach her about it immediately rather than approaching someone else about it. She believes that is bashing behind someone's back

 

She said that if I was truly a friend of hers, I wouldn't believe such rubbish.

 

She said it's really none of our employer's business, and that I shouldn't have talked to her about it.

 

She said that she doesn't regret yelling at me because she feels she needs to put the fear in me so then I would stop with this nonsense.

 

She says that my behavior and my choice in action was pathetic, and that I need to grow up.

[RelaxByWater84]

I am like you in a lot of ways and I'm a little too loyal when it comes to my friends. One ex-friend of mine was a drama queen and I had to end the friendship cuz it was taking a toll on me. I don't just drop friends but in my case I had to. I'd say drop the drama queen or you will end up being frustrated a lot.

[Alabama]

Discontinue this friendship with this girl. She is being very mean and you deserve to have a better friendship with some other girl.

[booberry]

I am totally with you on how you handled the situation. HOWEVER, she is completely right in that you SHOULD NOT have talked to your employer about this. From what you said, your employer is also her employer, and you had no right to air your dirty laundry.

[mysticdreamer]

You may be right, but I was always told that if you have problems with another employee, always talk to your boss.

[booberry]

But this is a personal problem, not a work related problem.