Open relationship?

[gfein347]

My girlfriend and I started dating in senior year of high school. Now, both freshmen in college, we've been together for over a year. Recently, my girlfriend went to a party with some of her friends, and afterwards, expressed to me that she felt left out at the party because her friends were dancing with other guys while she was unable to. She asked if we could be in an open relationship so she could experience "college life" while still keeping our relationship intact. A little confused, I agreed, as long as she kept me informed about what she was doing with other guys. Fast forward a few days, and she tells me that she danced with and made out with some 25 year old guy (we're both 18) at a party after having a few drinks. I've told her that I feel hurt, but she says making out with me is different (because it expresses love) than making out with someone else (because it's just an activity). We've talked about the possibility of breaking up, but we would both prefer to stay in the relationsihp and somehow make it work. I'm still very much in love with her, and I don't want this relationship to end. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Day_Walker]

This just happens to be one of those things that happens and it signals the end of the relationship. You cannot handle an open relationship and dont feel that you have to be able to handle one. However wanting to experience "college life" typically leads to break ups. You can try and salvage what you can but it looks like unless some dramatic changes are made the end of the relationship is near.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It sounds like she's just stringing you along. That's not really fair to you to be emotionally ripped up every time she feels the need to cheat. I don't care if it is an open relationship, that's what it is to me, she's asking permission to cheat on you. You don't experience college by snogging every other guy you come accross, thats bunk. I say tell her to stop it or beat it.

[PrincessJOA]

i dont TRUST open relationships, nor would I ever consider of having one. does it make sense to be in a relationship and make out with some other guy at the same time? worst of all, telling your bf what you did with him (or to him?) ahhh... no no no na ah. its all or nothing at all

[melrich]

You can only have an open relationship if you both want it. Sounds like you don't and so I agree with the others, it will fail.

 

You have every right to place as a condition on your relationship that she remain faithful. If she chooses not to then maybe you have to part ways.

 

Don't live with something that you're not conmfortable with.

[AwdreeHpburn]

gfein - welcome to ENA!

 

Sorry for your situation. Whilst I'm not ready to be so harsh, I do want to say that it sounds like she is just as confused as you are. She wants to experience the things that in her head say "college life" but she cares for and likes her relationship with you.

 

BUT sometimes, having both is a very difficult feat indeed. She needs to decide or you need to help her decide.

 

I say.....let her try it. Until she does, she will probably just be unhappy and make you unhappy as well.

[Momene]

I think she can't have her cake and eat it. I'd split and find someone who will be faithful to you.

 

You may value your relationship but partners can always be replaced.