I lost weight, but now don't understand men

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

(Have not read all responses).

 

Toomuchdietcola...a name I identify with!

 

The weightloss thing. When I was 14 or so (younger than you, but same kind of story), I lost 43lbs. Suddenly, I was thin.

 

Suddenly, I was desirable, worth looking at, a decent human being. And I used it to my advantage (or so I thought), by getting as much..er..relationship experience as I could from 15-17.5 years of age.

 

But all it's left me with is the conviction that people are shallow. People are pliable, changeable, superficial.

 

I suffer the same plight. I'm no saint at all, my boyfriend was 60lbs heavier just months before I met him and I know I wouldn't even have considered him as a partner if I'd have met him when he was that fat. Because I struggled to be thin, I didn't see why anyone else should get away with it.

 

I'm bitter and we both have eating disorders. So it's important to work through the issues...and if you find a way, tell me how.

[forza2]

I'm in Minnesota

 

I was there once to watch Formula 1, but only 6 cars raced

 

I've read some of the responses, and I just have to say that not all the guys are the same. I my self love having sex with girls, but now that I think about it SEX should be after you know the girl, and I die for inexperience girls. Talking about sex shouldn't be the first things a guy and a girl talk about it and I know this as a fact. 80% of the girls I've known, if a guy walks to them and start talking about sex they will just slap him and walk

 

If you move to Canada it means that you've given up, those type of guys are every where. There are guys who want sex first, then get to know the girl and decide that they dont want the girl.

 

I my self have realized that now I wanna know the girl and then have sex when ever we're both ready. Till couple weeks ago I wanted to have sex the frist day I met any girl, but now I think that's wrong.

 

Out side of Minnesota, there are some small towns which are very safe and there are alotta good people there, maybe you can try guys over there, or just move to different states.

 

Good luck

[toomuchdietcola]

I agree my issue is really self esteem. but I don't know how to change.

 

I realize what you're saying, that I put my worth on the way ppl treat me, but since age 6 on, this was the cause of my problems. I can't "snap out of it" anymore than someone can snap out of depression. I went through years and years of rejection, not only from my peers, but my family sometimes too. So to me, it's almost as difficult as changing my personality, to just get some confidence.

 

The only thing that really makes me feel good is when I help others.I don't know how to make myself happy just by being myself.

 

I was kidding about moving to Canada.

[forza2]

I agree my issue is really self esteem. but I don't know how to change.

 

I realize what you're saying, that I put my worth on the way ppl treat me, but since age 6 on, this was the cause of my problems. I can't "snap out of it" anymore than someone can snap out of depression. I went through years and years of rejection, not only from my peers, but my family sometimes too. So to me, it's almost as difficult as changing my personality, to just get some confidence.

 

The only thing that really makes me feel good is when I help others.I don't know how to make myself happy just by being myself.

 

I was kidding about moving to Canada.

 

Nothing against Canada, but yeah stay in US and dont give up. Move around, but dont let guys ruin your life. Enjoy it.

[Salucious]

(I guarantee you will NOT find Mr. Right floating around a bar. Trust me on that.)

 

I agree, most people go to bars/clubs to either drink or meet people for future sex, or both. If you want to meet nice guys who are more honest and interesting, try meeting them at places you enjoy (at the gym if you exercise, at a Barnes n Noble if you like to read, at volunteer work projects since you like to help people). Don't dismiss guys you see just sitting next to you at the diner or guys you see all the time at your regular hangouts and errand runs. There are definitely better places to meet people than clubs and bars in the dead of night.

 

As for your self-image, it may take time for you to adjust to the "new you" (at least your new body I mean) It sounds like a big change so don't get frustrated if you feel weird for a while. I'm short for my age and I'd probably feel weird if I suddenly grew ten inches. The fact you did it for your health and to feel better is positive indicator or your personality, it shows self-worth and you should be proud of that.

 

I'm sorry you had to meet so many creeps, but bars are like their nesting grounds so you might want to reserve them for just having fun with your friends. Welcome to the forums!