Biting off more than I can chew...

[Alabama]

I thought for the longest time I needed a part-time job to prove myself that I can do things successfully in life. I got a night time job working at my local residence hall. But the problem is I was getting lack of sleep from it. This started a problem when I missed several of my classes and almost had to withdrawl from a class, if it wasn't for the kindness of my teacher letting me stay in class, if I didn't miss another one. Yet then I told my parents I might have to withdrawl from a class and we went out to dinner to dicuss it. My mother "bit" my head off about this, even after I told my father earlier of my second chance. I broke down. We were eating in a restaurant and I cried right in front of them. I said it all was because of lack of confidence, but she insisted it was simply due to lack of sleep. Someone without confidence wouldn't have become an RA, like I am this year. I'm planning to quit this job, even though if I can go to class they'll let me keep it. But if it's cutting into my sleep this much, than it's not good for health. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

[robowarrior]

In your quest to become confident you have totally misunderstood the concept of confidence itself. You do not gain confidence by throwing your future away. Nor is your life benefitted from lack of sleep at the expense of getting confident. Of course your parents gave you a correctional kick in your face, which was the right thing to do, but this has only left you emotionally damaged and feeling even more insecure.

 

What you need is a 'healthy' pathway to achieve your life goals. Don't send your life into chaos to achieve the things that you want in life. Rather bring order into chaos and stay within the lines of the rules on what is allowed.

 

You see what is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that. Life is like a boxing arena, when the bell rings, the fighters kick eachothers asses without hesitating, why do they not hesitate? Hesitation leads to their defeat, you know being afraid that you are getting hurt is useless because you WILL get hurt in the fight of life, rather go for gold and kick the hell out of your opponent which is life itself. If anything i never suffered from it was from a lack of confidence, i always go for gold in my life. I have lost so many times that i know that failure is not fatal, i have won so many times also in my life that i know that succes is not final. Its the courage to continue that is important.

 

You need to stop screwing around and just grab what you want in life, if you get beaten to the floor great, you gained life experience and then with that experience you are going to go for another try. From now on you will stick your hands into the fire for what you stand for, just like how my father taught me. Cast off your fear! Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age, hesitate and you will die.

 

Put your mind on zero and just do it.